


Feels Like This

by EmilyBea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:34:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 91,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24222154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyBea/pseuds/EmilyBea
Summary: Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 131
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So months back I hinted that I was working on a few new AUs. I have been wanting to write this fic since the moment it popped into my head, but I held back, knowing I had two other great stories that deserved their happy ending and a proper send off. Now though both of my other fics are done, we are on to one of our first new fics. To all of you that have begged for another CS AU where someone is a prince or princess… this is for you, and for me. I can’t tell you how excited I am to be writing this. I have missed this kind of world since I finished When Love Reigns, and this time the script is flipped – it’s Killian who is royalty. This first chapter though, is building a bit of our back story. It’s from Emma’s POV and it puts us on the path to change. So without any more delay, I hope you guys enjoy the story and thanks so much for reading!_ **

_“Goooood Morning, New York! It’s that time again – WAKE UP CALL!”_

The sound of sirens and clanging that blasted through the clock radio next to her bed echoed through the once silent room, slamming into Emma with a force that gave her no choice but to wake.

“Crap!” Emma screeched as she jolted from the bed, woken from an incredibly sound sleep. On instinct her body moved quickly, trying to jump from bed like she would when Henry was little and called to her in the night, but she wasn’t totally coordinated yet. Instead of landing on her feet, she tumbled, hitting the ground hard and letting out a groan. “Double crap!”

A knock sounded at the door and two seconds later her son’s voice filtered through. _“Mom, did you fall out of bed again?”_

“No comment,” Emma replied, checking herself for major injuries. Thankfully she would be fine, but this was not a good look.

_It’s temporary,_ she said to herself as she stood up and stretched, willing her limbs to let go of the tension and the achiness that a fall like that would cause. _The semester is nearly over. I’ve only got one summer class. One not three. One not three._

She chanted the mantra that had gotten her through this spring over and over in her mind as she went through her morning routine. It was a rushed, frantic situation, as it normally was on weekdays, but somehow, just like always, things came together in the end. She was showered and ready, dressed for her admin job in the financial district. Henry was also totally geared up for school, proving once again how self-sufficient he was. Having a son with as much maturity as Henry was a blessing on mornings like this one where she was dead on her feet from studying all night and still had to be up bright and early for the office. He was eight going on thirty-eight. Honestly most days it felt like Henry had it more together than she did, but as she walked into the kitchen to press a kiss on the crown of his head and he smiled genuinely at her, Emma couldn’t seem to care. She might not be perfect at being a Mom, but her kid was happy and well, and that was all that truly mattered.

“Someone seems chipper this morning. Did you sneak those powdered donuts I hid or something?” Emma asked as she made herself and Henry some sliced fruit. Henry, meanwhile, measured out their cereal, liking to be a part of their prep process as much as he could. He handled things with the ginger care and attention of someone trying their best, focused on the task with so much purpose and precision.

“No, I didn’t, honestly Mom, I promise.”

Emma stifled a laugh at how adamant he was. She knew the truth: her son was too good for stealing, even just a few treats. It was amazing how much of a moral compass he had. Sometimes she wondered if it was too much for a boy his age. He should be getting into a little trouble, causing mischief, doing… something, anything that wasn’t picture perfect. But Henry wasn’t like that. He preferred stories to anything else, and the look on his face told Emma that a story was exactly what had him so animated this morning.

“Well if it’s not a sugar high then it must be a good book. What’s on tap for today?”

Listening to her little boy talk about his newfound tale made Emma so happy, because his own enthusiasm was infectious. Reading had always come easy to Henry, and he was on pace for the level of a sixth grader though he was only in 3rd. It was amazing to behold, but also a little overwhelming. Emma herself had never had that yearning to read, probably because the only books in the group homes she grew up in were ripped up and torn to shreds. By the time she was old enough to go to school and use the libraries they had, Emma was jaded. Thankfully she’d been quick to learn and always got by, but by high school she’d skipped town, never to look back.

A few years later she was barely surviving day to day and her heart decided it would be a good time to give the whole love thing a chance. She met a man who claimed he loved her, but, in the end he was nothing but a tough lesson made flesh. Neal taught Emma that it wasn’t enough to love someone. You had to love someone good, someone kind, and someone who loved you enough to care for you and fight for you too. Instead of meeting that marker, Neal stole a bunch of shit, tried to let her take the fall, and, to add insult to injury, skipped town and never looked back. Nothing ended up coming from the charges made against her – the judge threw the case out when he heard about her background, only asking that she commit to a hundred hours of volunteering, and in the meantime the only good thing Neal ever gave her was her son. But, despite her rocky beginnings, and thanks to a little luck and more than a couple of miracles, here they were. Nearly ten years had gone by since she’d seen Neal and Emma and Henry were good. They had each other, now and always, and though their family was small, and at times Emma wondered what it would be like to fall in love again, she didn’t want to rock the boat or jeopardize all the good she and Henry were lucky enough to have.

“Mom, did you hear me?” Henry asked and Emma’s mind shifted back into her room instead of where it had been, skipping down memory lane.

“Sorry, kid. Coffee hasn’t hit yet,” she said with a shrug. “What did you say?”

“I said I’m almost done with my final project for Ms. Harlow’s class.”

“Almost done? But you’ve still got another month of school.”

“I know, but it’s just reading and writing. My favorites.”

Emma listened in on his update about his project, and it didn’t surprise her to hear Henry was ahead of his class. This had been happening since he entered kindergarten. Every year the teachers set objectives and every year Henry met each one, most of them pretty early. It was a great thing in one respect, because it meant Emma didn’t have to worry about him. Henry was brilliant and gifted and would clearly go far in life, but it did make Emma wonder: was she doing enough for his son? More than once she’d been told that a private school might suit him better and might challenge him more. But she simply didn’t have the money. Hell, she’d worked overtime for years just to get them in this tiny apartment in this district which was one of the nicer ones in the city.

Henry continued to tell her all about school as they left the apartment and headed out, and their whole commute in was filled with his updates about the things he’d learned and still wanted to know. Emma noted that there were very few stories involving other kids and she knew that was probably because Henry didn’t have an enormous amount of friends. Oh the other kids liked him, of course, who wouldn’t love her son who only had nice things to say and a friendly smile to offer? But he wasn’t tied to any of them closely. Instead he preferred the company of books, and of Emma and their favorite friendly neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Hubbard.

“All right Henry, so you know the plan, right? Today’s Wednesday which means…”

“School, then library club, then Mrs. H will pick me up and watch me until you get out of class. I wonder what she’ll make for dinner. I hope it’s spaghetti.”

Emma agreed, knowing that her neighbor’s spaghetti was legendary. Mrs. Hubbard had years of practice, cooking for her own family over the course of many years, but her kids were all grown now and it was just her and her husband living in the city. Her husband, though well past retirement age, loved his job down at the docks, and still went in for a few hours every evening to manage the shift change from day shift to night. Mrs. H, meanwhile, was desperate for the chance to mother people again, and she did so often with Emma and Henry. At first Emma tried to protest, but it all fell on deaf ears. Not only did this wonderful woman help care for Henry, she was always helping with the cooking and the cleaning. She was also pretty much a built-in therapist for Emma, and every time she met a challenge in her parenting she couldn’t face, Emma called Mrs. H. That woman was the closest thing she and Henry had to family, and Emma knew Mrs. H felt just as strongly for them in return.

“Whatever it is we’re going to love it and we’re going to thank Mrs. H so much for her help, right?”

“Of course,” Henry said with a nod. They’d finally arrived at his school building and now was the time to say goodbye. Last year parent drop off was in the class room, but this year they moved the kids to drop off at the door. Most kids took that as a sign to stop hugging their parents when leaving for the day, but not Henry. Instead he gave her a big hug which warmed her through and made her feel so blessed and reassured. Henry was truly the sweetest, and when he finally let go and ran into the building Emma let out a sigh, thinking to herself how damn lucky she was to have Henry as her son.

Her day from there was just about as crazy as she expected. The time she had to get from Henry’s school to work was minimal, but she managed to slip into the office just under the radar. For eight straight hours she was moving, and she barely had time to devour the sandwich she’d packed for the day while running to and from errands that the office staff needed help with. She couldn’t take lunch though, not when she had to leave early to run ten blocks to class this afternoon. Again, her ability to get there was nearly undermined, this time by a broken subway car that caused more congestion than ever on the street as people tried to walk instead. But in just the nick of time, Emma made her way through the wrought iron gates of her university, and was in her assigned chair in the Mills Center Auditorium, listening attentively to the lecture her favorite professor had lined up today.

Since having Henry, Emma had needed to work and pay bills and figure things out. At first she tried to do that with just her GED, but soon it became clear that she needed to go back to school. Thank god there had been online classes, and she’d managed to find enough scholarships for ex-foster kids to get her an associates degree. When that was done she went to the state school in the city and started taking more classes and in four more years she had her bachelors. She was so proud of herself and so glad for the bump in pay that a simple degree had earned her, but somehow school had called her back again, this time for a masters degree in childhood development and social work. It was a very focused degree, without any ties to her current financial job, but it was the work her heart wanted to do. With her MS she would qualify for a number of jobs, all aimed at helping kids in the system, and again, thanks to some hard fought for scholarships, she was managing it all at virtually no cost but time.

The two-hour seminar she sat in today was engaging and interesting, honing in on a case study of one particular city – Sacramento. Their public programming was a beacon for the American model and through partnerships of government, schools, companies, and community activists there was a significantly lower rate of teenage runaways and kids who graduated from the system with ‘bad outcomes.’ Emma noted all the policy choice that were implemented to help these kids and she applauded the effort of these experts, but she knew there were still more things that could be done. She took just as many notes on the lecture as she did her own ideas, and by the end of class, her pages were full and her mind was equipped with a few more answers and a lot more questions.

When their time was up, the rest of her cohort dispersed. They were younger than Emma and most of them were friendly with each other. They always were nice to Emma too, saying hi and asking about Henry, but Emma didn’t linger long after class. She had to get home to her son, and to get back to working on all the things she had to face tomorrow.

“Emma, would you mind coming with me to my office? I have something to give you. It’ll just take a moment.”

“Sure, Professor Hopper,” Emma agreed, not thinking much of it. ‘Doc’ Hopper was a great lecturer and a helpful teacher and there’d been many times when he gave her a book or some other sources for her work. She assumed that was what was happening today, but when he asked her to take a seat as he moved around his desk Emma started to get worried.

“I’m sorry, professor. Is something wrong?”

“Not at all, Emma. In fact, quite the opposite. The department has selected the JR Foundation Fellowship recipient this year.”

“Oh?” she asked, wondering which of the people in her class was getting the chance to travel abroad and learn from some of the best minds in childhood development and psychology. She thought maybe Ayana or Jade might be good choices. They were both bright and determined. Matthew was a wild card. But she imagined he must be up for consideration given his often out of the box ideas.

“It’s you, Emma. You’re our chosen fellow.”

“Me?”

Emma whispered out the clarifying question, not understanding what Doc Hopper was getting at. The connection to the JR Foundation Fellowship was one of the biggest selling points of this program. Students from across the world came here just to be considered for it and to say she was not lobbying for the possibility would be an understatement. Most of the time she felt she was barely scraping by. Everyone else in her program was younger than her, none of them had children, and those who had a job worked part time or entirely for the school. Emma was always on the fringes of her cohort, but all the late nights studying and reading had paid off. She learned a lot and did well when it came to grades. Still, she never imagined this would happen, and for a fleeting moment she felt pure excitement.

_You can’t go,_ her inner voice said suddenly. _You’ve got Henry to think about. How would you afford it? You could never take him out of school. You can’t move him halfway across the world just to nickel and dime things. We’ve had enough ramen to last a lifetime._

The reasons why this would never work mounted internally as Emma cleared her throat and fidgeted in her chair. She was about to turn down the most prestigious offer anyone at her level could receive and the pain of that was sharp. To know she’d earned this but that it wasn’t meant to be hurt her, but she would not allow herself to linger in the sadness. Nothing had changed from this morning – she was still a very lucky woman, with a roof over her head, food on her table, and an incredible son who filled her life more than any stop in her career ever could.

“Professor Hopper, I’m truly flattered to be chosen. But -,”

“Wait, Emma, before you turn this down, please know that the faculty is aware of your unique circumstances and we’ve made some adjustments to the fellowship terms. It’s all spelled out here,” he said, handing her a folder with papers and admission offers.

Emma opened it up, and within the bolded headlines of the first page there were all sorts of add ons. A housing grant that would cover her and Henry for more than six months, additional ‘cost of living’ scholarships, and more. Tears formed in her eyes at she looked at the stipend she would receive if she accepted this appointment. It was more than she made at city hall, and she knew already that her good standing with the city would allow for her to take this opportunity if she chose to. She could request up to a year of leave where they’d hold her job if she gave enough notice, and she had just enough time to do so. Still there was one concern – what about Henry? What about his life? Would it be right to spring something like this on him? They had only a month before the fellowship was set to start. She couldn’t do that… could she?

“I realize that you’ll need time to consider, Emma, but as you can imagine time is rather limited. I can wait a few days, but we’ll need to know by the end of the week if you accept.” Professor Hopper looked at her with a transparent sense of honesty and empathy. It was always clear why this man studied child psychology and counseling. He was quiet and patient but adamant in wanting to help. But when he looked at her like this, Emma remembered her own childhood and how little there had been by ways of help and guidance. “For what it’s worth, Emma, I really hope you’ll take the appointment. In all my years at this school, I’ve never met a student so well suited to this job. Your experience is one thing, but it’s a gift unique to you. You have a way with these kids, Emma, and a fellowship like this can help you make the most of your degree come graduation. It opens all kinds of doors and you know what that can mean.”

“Helping so many more kids,” Emma admitted aloud, and that was ultimately what she wanted more than anything. Yes, providing for her son was the most important thing, but there were so many more children out there who didn’t have nearly enough. Without family or money or hope, the world was a sad and scary place and Emma wanted to fend off some of that fear for as many kids as she could. Doctor Hopper’s point was undeniable, and people who had previously taken this fellowship had gone on to do so much, like launch successful non-profits and run whole government departments for children in need. It was a chance to learn, to grow, and to meet people who knew how to make things happen, and Emma was enticed by that, so much more than she should be.

“Take some time, Emma. Mull I over, talk to your son, and if it’s right, it’s right. You know you’ll always have my full support either way.”

Emma thanked Professor Hopper and collected her things, heading out of his office and away from school. It was a short commute back home, but riding the subway at this time of day meant being a part of the last big rush of people. She was squished into the train car, but she didn’t think much of it. Instead she read over the more than generous offer of the package the school was giving her. Usually the fellowship was generous, with the chance to go to Montenaro (a tiny European country she’d never once heard of outside of this) and a small stipend to live on with placement in student housing. For Emma, however, other arrangements had been made, including a small house that was still at least triple the size of where her and Henry lived now. The stipend was also larger (to cover the cost of any needed ‘childcare expenses’) and Doctor Hopper had written a note – he had a good friend who had a connection to a private elementary school near the University of Montenarro. There was a spot for Henry available for the fall semester, which was still a few months out, and a space for him at the University’s summer camp. Emma actually cried at how kind this offer was and how much time it must have taken and how many favors must have been called in. People had moved mountains for her and in the process they’d pulled down so many of the blockades that might keep her from saying yes.

Her heart began to believe that this might actually be possible. The timing was actually kind of perfect – her term would start in six weeks, in the middle of June and her lease on the apartment was set to end at the end of that month. She was planning to renew, but it didn’t make sense to keep the place for six months while they were away. That was money she could save for a rainy day, and when all of this was over she’d be done with her degree early and would be looking for a job anyway. Maybe they weren’t strictly bound to New York. They could end up anywhere. The possibilities seemed endless. Still, as she made her way back to her apartment Emma tried to get herself in check and school her features. The last thing she wanted was to get her hopes up. This would come down to what was best for Henry, and she’d never want to pressure her son into doing something for her that he didn’t really want. But at the same time it was such a great opportunity. The money, the living arrangement, and the work experience. It all seemed so perfect.

“Anybody home?” She asked, as she opened the door to her place and walked in, dropping her coat and taking off her shoes in the front walk as she headed to the kitchen.

“Hi Mom!” Henry said, barreling into her with another big hug and a huge smile on his face. “I missed you today.”

“I missed you too, kid,” she said, ruffling up his hair. “Hey Mrs. H. Something sure smells good.”

“It’s spaghetti Bolognese, and it’s very near ready. How was class, dear?”

“Great. Actually about that, I got some news today.”

“Big news?” Henry asked excitedly and Emma shook her head and smiled.

“Huge news. You know that fellowship I told you about? The one in Europe?”

“I remember. It’s in that tiny little country on the coast. What was it? Monta… Monta…”

“Montenarro,” she filled in and the light in Henry’s eyes burned bright with recognition.

“Oh right – you know their national fruit is called a montacari? It’s like if you mixed a strawberry, blackberry, and a raspberry. They only grow in mild mountain climates and before the berries grow the plants make flowers that are pink and red and white. Every August they have a festival there to celebrate the harvest.”

“How do you know that?” Emma asked, amazed at her son’s seemingly endless memory and then she filled in at the same time Henry did. “Let me guess: you read about it?“

“I read about it,” Henry echoed and they laughed. “So who won the spot?”

“I did,” Emma announced and for a beat there was complete silence. She watched as her son took in the news and then he was moving, jumping up and down and hugging her all over again.

“You did it, Mom! You did it! You did it! I knew you could do it!”

“You thought I’d win?” Emma asked and Henry nodded fiercely.

“Absolutely! You’re the best, Mom, everyone knows that!”

Emma laughed as she looked over to Mrs. H who had a huge smile on her face. “Congratulations, honey. But I think I must have missed something. What exactly is this fellowship?”

Emma explained the circumstances surrounding the placement. It was a six-month appointment, for two terms – summer and fall - and in that time the recipient worked for the J.R. Foundation. J.R. was an international charity with an impeccable reputation focused on helping vulnerable youth populations around the globe. They worked on literacy outreach, education initiatives, disaster relief and more, but this fellowship appointee would work with the counseling division, focusing on children’s health, wellness, and mental resilience strategies. That six months of work counted as her two semesters of full time interning which she needed to graduate, and for Emma, it would mean cutting down her time to graduation significantly. At the end of this six months, if she added in an online class or two, she’d be ready to graduate, finishing up eighteen months earlier than she previously expected.

Halfway through her explanation, Emma watched Henry leave and head to his room. She heard a lot of movement inside and she frowned, worried about what he was up to. “Henry? Everything all right?”

“Are you kidding? Everything’s awesome! We’re moving to Montanarro and I’ve got to get packing!”

“Henry, wait,” she said and her son popped his head out before she motioned for him to come closer. “We still have to talk about this. This is a really big change. It would mean you miss the last few weeks of school here, and that next fall you’re not with your friends here. We wouldn’t be back until just before Christmas. Are you sure you like that idea? I won’t be mad if you want to stay here. This is our home.”

“Home is where we are together, Mom. You know that,” Henry said, reciting a line she’d said over and over again to him, especially back when times were tougher and they really struggled to get by. His assuredness made her throat tighten. Again she was on the verge of tears but she fought them off. “Besides – every hero has a special journey, Mom, and their special journey usually starts with a new place. Think of the adventure we can have together. It’s gonna be awesome!”

“Henry it might not be that easy. Moving can be hard sometimes. Things will be different there. I know they speak English, but there’s other languages and customs too. It might not be the easiest adjustment.”

“I can do different!” Henry replied eagerly with a smile. “I’m great with different. Different is my middle name.”

“Henry, you don’t have a middle name,” Emma teased and he shrugged.

“Well now I do, and it’s Different. So can we go, Mom. Please? I promise I’ll be so so good.”

“You’re always good, kid.” Emma said softly, running her fingers through the hair that was shadowing his brow. “Are you sure, Henry? It’s a really big step.”

“Can’t you feel it, Mom? Don’t think with your head. Use your heart, like you taught me.” Emma was quiet for a moment as she took in her young son’s sage advice. “You feel it too, I know you do. This is right for us. It’s our path.”

“Why don’t I sleep on it, okay, kid? In the meantime you go wash up for dinner all right?”

Henry seemed to accept this non-answer, though he muttered under his breath about always having to wait for adventure. Emma smiled despite herself and then looked to Mrs. H who was watching her closely.

“So what do you think? I know we’d be leaving you and Mr. H in a bind. You weren’t expecting to have to look for new tenants and -,”

Mrs. H interrupted Emma by taking her hand in hers and silently commanding her attention. Emma looked up and listened carefully. “Honey, you don’t worry about that at all, you hear me? My Horace and I are golden. We don’t need to rent this place out, but we took one look at you and Henry and we knew you were going to be like family. And you know what family does, Emma? They support each other always. This fellowship sounds like everything you’ve wanted. You can make a difference and you and that darling boy of yours can see the world a little. In the meantime we’ll keep this place here for you. No one else is renting it and you don’t need to worry about paying anything at all. The payment has been getting to know you two these last few years. That’s better than anything money can buy.”

“Are you sure?” Emma asked, half wondering about her generosity but also asking if she should go at all. She was excited, to be sure, but she was also terrified. What if she failed? What if something happened? What if –

“I am, Emma. And deep down you are too. Henry was right, this is an adventure, one you should meet and embrace every step of the way.”

Emma appreciated the counsel and though Henry came barreling back in soon and the conversation shifted, Emma had all evening to think about the choice in front of her. She grappled with her options – to take the safe path and pass up on a once in a lifetime opportunity, or to take a little risk and have a taste of adventure and fulfillment with her son in a brand new place. By the end of the night, as she was drifting off to bed, Emma knew she had her answer: this was going to happen. She was going to take this step and take a chance, and somehow, despite her less than stellar origins, she trusted it would all work exactly the way that it should.

Little did she know how true that was, and just how much purpose and hope she would find in a tiny country halfway around the world.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. Just in case anyone is curious about the title, I actually got a creative burst in conceiving of this AU plotline when I heard the song ‘Feels Like This’ by Maisie Peters. If you haven’t heard it before, you should definitely listen, as it’s a lovely one with all kinds of feels. Anyway, I know that this chapter was all from Emma’s POV, but as you might have guessed, next chapter we will see Killian and where he is at when we begin this story. I’m so excited for this AU and to build this dynamic and I am hoping to share the second chapter with you all next weekend. In the meantime, I would love to hear what you all think, what you might like to see in this fic, and what your general thoughts on this kind of AU are. As always I appreciate you all so much, I hope that you’ve enjoyed, and I wish you all well and happy! Thanks again!_ **


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Oh my god, guys, I am not going to lie, I am having so much fun writing this fic! I have missed having new stories to explore so much, and I am so eternally grateful for all of you who kept pushing me to do another Royal AU. I didn’t realize how much I was going to love doing this again until I started, and now I have so much I want to explore, and so much fluff and cuteness in my head I can’t wait to share with you all. I hope you will enjoy this chapter. Keep in mind, I know it’s been a slower burn so far, but I promise the pay off will be perfect. In the meantime, you’ll see where Killian is in this fic, and the people in his life who will become important characters to the rest of the story. Some are based on the show, some are added additions as you’ll see. For example, I always name Killian’s mom ‘Meera’ in my fics, I know it kind of sounds like Milah, but they’re not the same and I chose that name originally because of its meaning and because of a poem I read long ago – the sounds was coincidence. Anyway, that being said, I hope you will enjoy, and thank you so much for reading!_ **

“Well, mates, we’ve finally done it. Our twelve-month stint is complete and all our sorry asses are heading home. Never thought I’d see the day.”

The words from Will Scarlet hung between Killian and his friends where they sat in the cargo hold of a military aircraft flying over the last piece of the sea that separated them all from home. They had just finished their active deployment in a classified location, and it had been immersive and seemingly unending. With limited contact to the outside world, and a constant goal of getting their mission done, these officers and their subordinates had worked hard to serve their country and its citizens. It had been trying times, and the task at hand was hard, but this was what they trained for. The Montenarro elite naval force was as selective as it was distinguished, and every man and woman serving in it was considered a national hero. But Killian hated that term, and he hated it more than anything when it was used in conjunction with his other loathed title – prince.

“You nearly didn’t make it, Scar-boy. If you hadn’t had Hook watching your back, you’d be dead ten times over.”

Killian smirked at the bit of teasing from Robin. That nickname for Scarlet was classic and well earned, given how many near misses he’d had with a tragic, awful death. But the boy part was bestowed thanks to Scarlet’s enduring childishness. His old friend always brought a laugh, and he could sober up when things got serious, but he couldn’t apply that sense of military discipline or responsibility to the rest of his life. He was a man child: unruly and a bit manic, but now that they were coming home, Killian hoped Will might figure things out. Meanwhile, Killian’s nickname, Hook, had at one time been a huge resentment for him. He’d earned the moniker in a notorious fight off base years ago just upon entering the royal command. The man he laid out with a single punch was a right jack ass, who’d made a show of harassing women and spewing all kinds of ignorant crap the whole bloody night, but the headline of the moment was that the ‘rebel prince’ had struck again. His superiors were furious, and he was punished accordingly, but it was his brother, the King, who had dealt the harshest blow.

_“You set one more foot out of line and I will bring you back home. If you’re going to make a spectacle of yourself, you’ll damn well do it somewhere our mother doesn’t have to worry about your safety.”_

That was enough to set Killian to rights, because despite the seemingly charmed nature of his life, home was synonymous with hardship and discomfort. Being royalty was a constant burden of saving face and proper manners. He loved his brother, his mother, and his Gran, but they fit into that world with ease and a natural charm he didn’t possess. They loved shaking hands and kissing babies, took great pride in parades and national addresses, and knew how to ‘operate society.’ Killian, on the other hand, couldn’t stand it. He never blended well, never trusted easy. He’d met one too many snakes in Montenarro’s royal court and he didn’t need any more lessons on the hidden intentions people carried. It would sound mad to the average person, but there was a similar sense of dread he shared on deployment and at home, and on the good days, when he and his men were all safe with a job well done, he was vastly happier in his profession than in his personal life at home. At least he felt like he was serving something, and participating in a duty that was bigger than hollow gestures and picture perfect moments.

“The most important thing is no one’s dead,” Tink murmured from her spot on the other side of the hold. She was damn right about that. “We made it through another tour and I, for one, am out of here.”

“Olive will be glad to have you home, love,” Graham stated, patting their friend on the arm a few times in a signal to her extra sacrifice made these long months.

The mention of Tink’s daughter made her smile and in any other person tears no doubt would have shown in their eyes at the mention of such a reunion, but not Tink. This woman might be the smallest of their platoon but she was the fiercest and honestly the smartest. She was also brave as could be and composed at every moment. He’d asked her once how she could manage that, given everything that they saw and went through. Every one of them had moments of grave impact, where the stress or straight out fear crept in and took root, but not Tink. Her response was simply stated though it seemed impossible to comprehend:

_“When you have a reason to get home, a part of you that needs you, you don’t have the luxury of breaking down. Everything I have needs to go towards one thing – surviving. I have to get back for her and she matters more than everything else. No matter what I see here, she’s my beacon home.”_

“The day I left, I promised her that this was my last tour,” Tink said, surprising everyone except for Killian with the revelation. She’d confided in him about her plan to leave their unit a few months back, and when the paperwork needed to get to higher ups to unenlist from front-line duty he helped her, knowing she was owed that after years of faithful service to the crown. “I didn’t want to mention it because I knew exactly what you’d all say.”

“You’re leaving us?” Will asked and the tone in his voice was like someone had kicked him in the gut. For someone so full of bluster, he caved in quick, and while Graham and Robin didn’t sound quite so stricken, they too were surprised.

“I took a land command. You’re looking at the royal navy’s newest pencil pusher,” she said with a huge grin. “Six years ago I’d have laughed in your face if you told me how happy that would make me.”

“But that was before,” Killian said, understanding her instinct to be with her daughter and the change she needed to make her family whole again.

“You always get it, Cap. But what about you – you think you’ve got another tour left in you?”

Ah shit. Here was the moment of truth. He couldn’t lie when faced with Tink’s question, but he had been denying the inevitable even to himself for so long. Every tour his brother told him this would be the last one, but every time he waivered when Killian returned and asked to leave once more. Killian had been serving for more than fifteen years now, a decorated Captain who had earned his own way and proven his merit. He knew he was well respected and highly capable, but that would stop meaning anything to Liam soon. No matter how good a Captain Killian was, his duty, as Liam saw it, was to be the prince and the second in line. He had obligations at home, and as loathed as that life was, Killian considered himself lucky. His family had given him the freedom of finding something more like normal all these years. Here, with his crew, he was normal. He wasn’t a monarch, but a man, part of a team even if he was a leader, and there was no bull shit muss or fuss. Now that would likely end, but despite wishing he could come back, Killian was grateful for what he’d been able to do and the friends he’d been able to meet.

“I serve at the pleasure of the King,” Killian hedged. “But I think it likely my assignments will be changing this go around.”

“What he means to say is he’ll be dodging the ladies at court and fending off those investment cats always vying for access to the royal purse,” Graham joked. Killian only shrugged, not able to contradict the man, as he was probably dead on.

“I’d take the desert twice over before I took that shit,” Will said, and for once, Killian had to agree with him, but it didn’t matter either way.

Soon enough the plane that was flying them back to base was prepared to land. Their descent was easy, but the feelings that Killian grappled with were not. There was relief of course when the doors opened and they were back on land. They’d been serving in dangerous places, running on borrowed time with too many close calls. Even the plain façade of their base near the capital couldn’t hide the beauty of Montenarro. Many people called this country too small to notice, but what it lacked for in size, it made up for in location. Nestled on the Mediterranean, with a range of coastlines and mountain range, this nation lived in a world that was warm and where the sun shone brightly and often. Today, the coast was clear and glorious, but the mountains weren’t far and the foot hills were lush this time of year. The greenery around them was a luxury compared to the barren wastelands they’d been encamped in, but beyond the walls of this military compound lay his real life. When he left this place, he stopped being Hook, or Cap, or even Killian. He had to be someone else, and the weight of that shifted the peace within him to something frenzied and on guard.

With a swift but genuine regard he bid all his brothers and sister in arms goodbye, and handed in his papers and his weapons with the higher-ups. By the time he made it outside, headed to his personal barracks where he needed to collect some personal items, a royal enclave was ready for him and their head of security, Jefferson, was already waiting.

“Your things have been gathered, Your Highness. We’re ready to ship out.”

“So help me Jefferson if you start that Highness crap already -,”

“Sorry, sir.”

Killian sighed at the lingering formality but it was a small improvement and it wasn’t actually Jefferson’s fault. If the man waivered from formal titles surely Liam would hear of it, and his elder brother was no fan of abandoning tradition. Why he’d even let Killian serve all these years was beyond him, but Killian expected Liam knew that without an outlet and a feeling of normalcy, Killian would have lost himself long ago.

The ride through the city’s center was long, but Killian barely took it in despite looking out his window. He’d seen this route a million times, and it might be lovely, but it was a signal of returning to a state he didn’t like. The only part of the drive he found favor in was seeing the people around them, and from all looks and appearance, the citizens of their small nation were happy and well. People were out and about, children were playing, families were gathered and enjoying the spring day. Everyone was partaking in this first sweet taste of summer and their worlds seemed calm and bright. As a ruler that was the only thing a King could wish for, and Killian felt that call too even as Prince. Their roles meant nothing if the people were not served – but under Liam’s watchful and ever attentive eye, it made sense that they would be happy. They were surely headed towards another prosperous year, and, as Killian had always known, the nation had never been in better, more capable hands.

By the time they reached the city’s far edge and the golden gates of his family’s castle rose before them, Killian was at war with himself. On the one hand he was edgy from what was yet to come, but he was also glad to be back, to see his mother and grandmother, and even his brother. At the end of the day he loved his family, he knew that they worried for him every day he’d been away, and he’d be glad that coming home could bring them comfort. He mindfully made the choice to choose their happiness over his own for the time being, and as he exited the limousine, he schooled his features in a smile which widened at the sight of who was waiting at the door.

“Oh, my little Killy. You’re home at last.”

To the rest of the world, his grandmother was the dowager Queen and a force to be reckoned with. She was a high society lady, the former ruler of this nation, and a fierce advocate for the throne, but to Killian she was just his Gran, a charming, insightful, sometimes crafty older woman with too much love in her heart to ever perish. She was pushing 90 years old but here she was, the first to greet him and moving about like she was thirty years younger. She came straight to Killian, ignoring his polite bow and instead pulling him in for a warm embrace. How a woman so tiny could still possess such strength, he’d never know, but he had a fleeting though that she and Tink would get along before his grandmother pulled back with a mist of tears in her eyes.

“Did you miss me that much, Gran?” he teased, fending off his own wayward emotion at being reunited with one of his favorite people. “I thought I was just a load of trouble wrapped up in a charming giftwrap.”

“Oh hush. I said that to you one time – one time! And you never let me forget it. I mean truly, my dear, what was I supposed to say? You got into your cousin Sienna’s wedding cake and ate damn near half on your own before the reception could even start. Chef nearly perished at the sight of it.”

“I was a kid, Gran.”

“You were old enough to know better. But you could see what a menace that foolish Count was, no doubt. Can’t say I blame you for your actions now, given everything.”

Everything in this case was a huge scandal strewn across the tabloids. Sienna, who was actually quite a distant cousin, but still of royal lineage, was a rather stand-offish woman who had married more for status than for love. Unfortunately that status was tarnished less than ten years later when her now ex-husband was revealed as a philanderer and not a cautious one. It was a mess of paparazzi fodder, but to Killian it wasn’t all that bad, not after what they’d gone through with his father.

“Honestly I just wanted cake,” Killian admitted, shaking off thoughts of the man who’d wronged them long ago and his Gran grinned, none the wiser.

“Well there will be plenty of it now that you’re home. Your mother has planned a whole host of events, and before you get all stodgy and upset, you remember what every day has been like since you were last home. Poor Meera’s been fussing with that rosary damn near twenty times a day.”

Killian felt a pang of guilt hearing that, but his grandmother ignored his stricken look, pulling him inside. Immediately in the entryway he found his mother and Liam and the rest of the household staff set to greet them. He saw the joy in his mother’s eyes, and a clear sense of relief in Liam’s and he knew, even without words or actions, that he was truly missed and very much loved. Still he glanced back at his Gran, quirking up a brow to silently ask her why she wasn’t part of the precession.

“When you get to be my age, my dear, the formalities start to seem rather pointless. I wasn’t waiting an extra second to see my grandson, and your brother has the good sense to let me be.”

“Anyone who lacked that sense risks a fate worse than death, I’m sure,” Liam said dryly, but he spared a smile for their Gran all the same and allowed the old woman to swat at his arm like he was a pesky fly instead of the reigning monarch. “It’s good to see you home, brother.”

“It’s good to be with you all again,” Killian said, choosing his words carefully. He was not interested in lying to his family. They had enough to grapple with from the world around them, the least they owed each other was transparency. His mother certainly seemed to agree, and the tears she’d no doubt held in for months streamed down her still lovely face as she pulled him in close and hugged him far tighter than a royal mother should. Here was his mother in truth, not the part she played in public spaces, and despite their appearance in front of the staff, she doted on him like any good Mum should.

“You’re okay, darling? No bad scrapes this time?” Her tone grew warbly and Killian again felt the tug of guilt for what he put his family through in doing what he loved. He couldn’t regret his choice to serve and stake his own path, but he knew what a toll it took on his mother, and that was regrettable. On one of his first deployments he’d been injured pretty badly and he bore the scars along his back and side to prove it, but nothing vital had been hit, thank god, and as soon as he was healed he’d been ready to go out again. It almost broke his mother, but she was a strong woman, stronger than any he had ever known.

“A few nicks, Mum. Nothing serious.”

“Oh thank God. And now you’re home for good at last.”

Killian looked to Liam for confirmation and his brother shook his head. “Let’s not go there yet.” Liam pulled him in for a hug of his own, one of a special design they’d shared since he was but a boy and again Killian felt the true affection of his brother. They may be men of very different stripes, but Liam was a part of him and who he was. He was his elder brother and the closest thing Killian had to a father figure. His love meant the world to him, and so too did his approval.

“So, Gran mentioned some festivities. Have I time before the circus, or will it descend immediately?”

“Circus?” His mother asked, clearly confused before looking at her mother-in-law with amusement. “I think your grandmother is up to her old tricks. We don’t have anything planned. It’s just us and your favorite dinner. Just how you like it.”

_Thank God for that,_ Killian thought to himself before turning to his grandmother who looked like a spoiled tyke at Christmas. She was so pleased with her little fake-out, she actually clasped her hands together.

“The Americans call it ‘punking’ someone. Such a garish word, but it does have its merits.”

“Still no hobbies to be found, Gran?” Killian asked, knowing that his grandmother was a busy body, and she needed a lot of occupation or she risked being… well, like this.

“Who needs the bloody things?” Gran said, swearing so brashly it made Killian choke on his drink and his mother gasp. “I do what is needed. You needed a good joke upon arriving home so I did what I could to provide one.”

“Gran’s taken to jokes of late,” Liam explained and Killian suddenly wanted very much to know what the old bird had been up to. From his brother’s expression, she’d gotten him good, and Killian would pay to see that.

“I tried to get it on tape, but that blasted Jefferson took my phone spouting all sorts of nonsense about royal protocol,” his Gran said, reading his mind. “But regardless, your dear brother knows perfectly well that I have plenty of occupation with the foundation. So much work that needs doing there. It must be constantly tended to, just like your mother’s roses.”

“I don’t remember it being so much,” Killian remarked, not even really remembering that the family had a foundation at all. It was more an endowment, a way to give the vastness of their wealth to worthy causes. But writing checks surely couldn’t take such effort.

“Well I’ve had to change it, haven’t I? If I was going to build something worthy of your attention, it had to do _real_ good. It’s much more hands on now, you see. I might be in my twilight years, but I can still get my hands dirty.”

And there it was. He was wondering what the plan would be. He assumed he’d be added to Liam’s counsels and propped up as a family focal piece, the returning hero back home at last. But even without fully understanding the intention, Killian could see an earnest excitement in his grandmother’s eyes. Whatever the foundation had become, she was trying to build something for him, and if he could have a purpose beyond the face of a royal family, he’d be eternally grateful.

“So I really am home for good then?” Killian asked, broaching the uncomfortable topic once more as Liam considered him from the other end of the table. After a beat of quiet, Liam replied.

“I’ve spoken with our heads of command. The conflicts we’re involved in are winding down and while the Americans continue their crusade in the Middle East, our time of service there is drawing to a close. We’re shifting back to more diplomatic measures, and what’s left to fight can be handled by your fellow soldiers I think.”

“The country is in good hands,” Killian agreed and though it hurt to think that he was truly finished with his service, he was prepared for such an outcome. Liam would not demand that Killian leave. He was never so authoritarian, but this suggestion spoke volumes and Killian, much as he might be tempted, would not go against his brothers wishes.

“If they’ve been trained by you then it certainly is,” his mother agreed fiercely and Killian laughed. Her statement was not at all based in first-hand knowledge. She had never seen him in the field, rarely even seen him in his military context at all, but she still staunchly believed in him. It was appreciated, but comical all the same.

“And the foundation? What exactly is it doing these days?”

“Well by god, what aren’t we doing? There’s so much to do you see. We’ve been funding all sorts of new energies so we can be ‘green and clean,’” His Gran chirped happily. “We’ve expanded our species protection efforts with the ministry of parks and wildlife. I went on a whale watch with the Duchess of Mandrey. It was just marvelous. We wore, oh what, do they call them…? Oh right, ponchos! We’re working with the ministry of health to create community gardens not just to teach the children but to feed the people. You should see what we’ve done in the cities, Killy. We’ve built these centers with the soil and the supplies. The little ones love it -,”

“Clearly there’s quite a few balls in the air as it were,” Killian’s mother said, gently interrupting his grandmother’s exuberant storytelling. “But we were thinking, I mean if it works for you, that whenever you’re settled back in you might look at one particular part of the organization. Get a more hands on feel for something and truly learn the workings of the charity.”

“Did you have an idea of which one?”

“The Montenarro Children’s Sanctuary,” his Gran replied with total assuredness, and to his amazement, she produced a pamphlet (would wonders ever cease?) from somewhere under the table to hand to him. “Got that from the front desk last week. It’s all in there, dear, and the children are just precious. You’ve always loved the little ones, so it’s a perfect fit.”

“Have I?” Killian asked, not sure if he’d ever shown that predisposition. He always liked interacting with the children in the extended family when they came for holidays and events, but that was hardly a background in working with kids.

“Of course you have. You have such a way with them, and these children, well my dear, they just need someone like you so much. It’s a wonderful opportunity to make a difference.”

Killian knew she must be right, and he felt, despite his hesitations and the urge to reject someone else planning out his life, that this may indeed be a good fit for him for now. He never would have chosen such a charity first, thinking himself a bit understudied in the ways of children, but it certainly couldn’t hurt to give it a try, and his family was right, he needed something to do, something that actually felt like it mattered. After living for years with a purpose he couldn’t waste his time doing things he felt were frivolous. If he did he might go mad.

“I’ll go on one condition,” Killian said and they all considered him, clearly surprised he would accept at all and that he was handling his military retirement so well. “No one at that organization is calling me Prince Killian, Your Highness or any of that. I’ll go by Killian. That’s it.”

“But dear that’s -,”

“Before you say it’s not possible, Mum, just think for a minute about the work they do there and the kids in that scenario. This is a home for orphans and children who can’t be cared for in traditional means. They don’t have present families, they don’t have anything to call their own. They might know I am prince, but I don’t want them to feel the difference between us. You want me to help somehow? I don’t know how to truly help people when we’re separate or unequal. I never mastered that. It’s not how I work.”

“It’s just a title, Killy,” his Gran said sadly but he was holding firm. He wanted this for the kids and for himself. He’d dedicate himself to helping in this way, but he wanted at least a feeling of something normal, something that was his and not the crown’s. He looked to Liam, awaiting his brother’s verdict, and after a brief consideration his brother nodded.

“It seems reasonable enough. But only at the foundation. To the rest of the world you are, and always will be, Prince.”

“Fair enough,” Killian agreed. “Now, any chance we’ve got some cake?”

At the joke, everyone laughed, but low and behold there was cake to be had. And though his life was shifting radically, and he might not be on the most solid of ground right now, Killian felt hopeful that things might just work out in the end. Soon enough he’d be a part of something again, and he hoped quite sincerely to make a difference and make a change for the people he served, and in truth, for himself as well.

…………………..

Hours after their meal, and long after her son had headed up to his wing of the palace, Queen Meera looked out her large antique window to the full moon out tonight. She thanked the heavens that her son was back home safe. After so many years of fighting, and being in the thick of too many international skirmishes, he was finally back and all in one piece. Every night she’d prayed for his safety and for his health. She prayed he would be protected and smart out there doing God knows what. But she also prayed that he would feel peace, when she knew peace was a luxury for her youngest boy he wasn’t usually graced with. Recently she’d added a few more prayers as well, ones that would keep him open to the changes coming in all of their lives. She was grateful at dinner that he was receptive to the prospect put before him of working for the family foundation. So far the plan was working, and she sent up another prayer that the rest would fall into place too.

Perhaps it would be strange to some that she was doing this, trying to craft a future for her beloved son when he was a fully-grown man, but she knew down in her soul that Killian needed the guidance. He was a good man, a strong man, a man bound by honor and compassion, but her son was always closed off, especially when it came to matters of the heart. There were many reasons for that, a few near-misses in love, and all the attention that their family brought forward, but the real reason underneath it all stemmed from the sins of his father, a man Meera once felt love for, who blessed her with two children and promptly threw the life they built together all away.

Prince Brennan had always been notorious. A party boy, a man of mischief. He never met trouble he didn’t like the look of, but his people and his family still believed him to be fundamentally good if a bit lacking in maturity. He was set to inherit the throne as the only child of the King and Queen, and through a twist of fate Meera and him had met and fallen in love. Meera was a common girl, with no connections, and no wealth to speak of, but it hadn’t mattered to Brennan. In fact, in hindsight, he probably wanted her even more because of it. They stole away as many moments as they could, and then one day he told her they were getting married. He never asked, he just informed her, and she went along with it, knowing she loved him even if she was scared of trying to be part of his world. She thought he’d bring her home to meet his family, thought he’d seek their approval, but Brennan had a mind of his own, and that night they eloped.

Only when they were legally man and wife did he bring her home and the fall out had been immense. His father, King Rupert, was furious, but the ire never was directed at her. It was Brennan who the King and Queen were mad at, and Meera couldn’t understand why. If King Rupert and Queen Eleanor truly liked her, why be so angry? Why chastise him as they did? Only a year later, after the birth of her eldest son, Liam, did she realize why; Brennan was flighty and irresponsible. He couldn’t commit to things, he never devoted himself to anything forever. He was bad at making decisions, at paying attention, and he had a total disregard for his impending role as ruler of Montenarro. If someone even hinted at his impending responsibility to the people of this country he went running as fast and as far as he could. Still Meera believed he loved her and that even if he couldn’t give all of himself to his duty, he could be there for her and their children. After trying for seven more years to give Liam some siblings, they were blessed to have Killian, and only after her second son’s birth did the truth fully come into focus. Marriage hadn’t actually meant to Brennan what it meant to her. In her eyes, they were meant to be partners, meant to love each other, and honor each other, but he couldn’t do it. He grew resentful and unruly, and ultimately, unfaithful.

It was an awful time, to be sure, and for Killian, it ended up being all he knew of his father. She kept everything she could from both of her sons, but somehow things always got out. The media had a field day at each and every instance, and then, when it got so bad and so brutal, Meera decided she must go. She and her sons could stay here no longer. Not with Brennan here. Shockingly, when she told Eleanor and Rupert of her plans they told her it was not her place to leave. It was Brennan who must make a choice – shape up and make amends to his wife and to his family, or leave, forsaking his thrown, his power, and all inheritance as he did. Brennan knew in an instant what he wanted, and so he left, but not before Killian and Liam heard him yelling and carrying on. At only six years of age Killian watched his father leave them all, with nothing like regret, and then, a few days later they found that Brennan had died in an accident, the product of reckless choices finally catching up with him.

Explaining to her sons how their father’s actions had no influence on who they were was so hard. Liam seemed to know this, but he channeled his pain into being the perfect heir. He put so much pressure on himself to be a wonderful king and a wonderful son. She worried about that and she was trying every day to help manage that as best she could. But Killian was far more sensitive. He was sweet and thoughtful and bold all at once. He had the biggest heart and he wanted so badly to wear it on his sleeve. But he didn’t. He closed himself off, and then he’d gone into the royal navy and Meera was devastated. She was always worried sick for her son, but what could she say? She saw in him a burst of that vitality and that light in his eyes when he was away. Even in the midst of chaos, Killian was at peace. Why? Because he could be himself. He’d found a place he felt safe, in some of the most unsafe places around the world. Now, though, he was coming back and this was not a place he felt that freedom. With them of course he had trust, but with everyone else she knew his walls would come right back up, steadfast as ever and impenetrable to most.

That was why she was doing this. She wanted a chance to open Killian up to more, to prompt her son towards something he deserved but had always run from: love. She knew he’d be hesitant, and only the perfect kind of woman could bring him to a place where he could be himself, so she’d been looking. It was practically her job to meet people all the time, to come into contact with royals and commoners alike, but she never had much hope. No one felt right, no one seemed perfect until a few weeks ago. Eleanor had returned from one of her outings with the foundation, from the children’s sanctuary, and slapped down a folder with a simple statement.

_“I found the girl. Killian’s sweetheart. I know she’s the one.”_

Meera was so excited, and she opened the folder without second thought. Sure enough the woman in the file was beautiful, and surprising. She was an American and pretty as could be, clearly smart as she was here on a fellowship grant from the local University. And she had a son. There were all sorts of details about how the school had made arrangements for them because she was such a promising fellow. She was gifted with children and had her own experience with being an orphan as well. Meera planned to go the next day with Eleanor to see for herself, but Eleanor said she wasn’t there. When Meera realized Eleanor had never even seen the girl she was horrified. It was one thing to be looking for potential suitors for her son, but people they’d never even met? That seemed like a bridge too far.

_“She’ll be here in two weeks. The Sanctuary director couldn’t stop talking about how excited they were for this year’s candidate and one thing lead to another… but that’s the way these things go sometimes.”_

It was _not_ the way things usually went, and Meera knew that, but she had never regretted following Eleanor’s instincts before. If her mother-in-law believed in this, then she felt that she should too. And besides, their goal here was a good one – all they wanted was two worthy people to fall in love, after all. What was really the harm in that? Meera just didn’t know, and that was the problem which had been keeping her up for more than a few nights now.

“You are worrying too much, Meera. It will all turn out exactly as it’s meant to,” Eleanor said, having walked into the room with such silence Meera never once detected her.

“You really think it’ll happen?” Meera asked, not even bothering to hide her anxiety.

“Think it’ll happen? My love, he’s as handsome as can be, a Captain of the navy, a hero of war, and has a heart of gold. Any woman worth her salt is going to take one look at him and fall straight in love. Meanwhile he’s going to take one look at this Swan girl and you know what he’s going to do? He’s going to see forever in an instant. His heart will beat for her, and love will stake a claim from the very first moment. Cupid will have quite a simple task of it, you mark my words.”

“You make it all sound so…”

“Romantic? Blissful?”

“I was going to say theatrical.”

“Love at first sight has long been slandered, but still it exists. People find it every day, and many times when they know, they just know.”

“I just want him to be happy,” Meera admitted looking down at her hands. That was all she ever wanted as a mother, for her sons to be well and whole and good.

“And he will be,” Eleanor said, grasping Meera’s hand in a sign of comfort. “He will be happy. He will find exactly what he’s missing. You just have to trust and believe, my dear. It’s all any of us can do.”

Meera nodded, deciding to believe that this would work, and to accept the older woman’s sage counsel, despite its fairytale influence. She wished that with this tiny little push in the right direction, her son would find his happiness with a woman of substance, and good will, and heart. From what they’d discovered, Meera truly believed such a love could be found with this one special woman, Emma Swan, and she only hoped that Killian and Emma were ready and willing to take a chance. But alas, nothing but time would tell, and now all they could do was wait and see…

**_Post-Note: So there we have it. It was a lot of background I know, about Killian and his family and his past. But I hope you’ll see a bit more of the world I’m building and that it will eventually add to the meeting CS will have coming in the next chapter. As for Killian’s meddling Mom and Gran… what can I say? I missed having some meddlers in my AUs. I have lots still left in store for this story, and as always I can’t wait to see what you guys think. Thanks again so much for reading, and I hope you all have a lovely rest of your day!_ **


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So thank you so much first and foremost for the love you guys have shown this fic. I have been so excited to write this and have been waiting ages to share it all with you. This is the kind of fluff and cuteness I personally need in my life right now, and I know a lot of you probably feel the same. Strap in for my usual dose of CS feels, and yes, for those of you asking, this is the moment CS will meet. Hope you all enjoy and thank you all so much for reading!_ **

“And you’re sure you’ve got everything?” Emma asked, looking at Henry and knowing that he was ready to head into camp. They’d been over this numerous times, and at this point they were already out of the house and in front of the hall where campers congregated every morning. Still, Emma couldn’t help trying to soak up the moment with her kid just a little bit longer, and if that meant running through their list once more, so be it. “You have your lunch?”

“They give us lunch there, Mom.”

“Oh right,” she said, still shocked at how much was provided seeing as this program was _free_ through the University. The children of all faculty and students were allowed to come, and it completely eradicated a need for her to find alternative childcare. Back in the States they had nothing like this built in anywhere. Getting Henry to camp previously either took a funding miracle, an insane amount of luck, or extra shifts at a second job. Usually he stayed with Mrs. H and Emma tried desperately to make it up to their neighbor. But now community sponsored help was becoming a given way of life, and every kid in Montenarro, no matter their background, seemed to have at least one path to a bright and happy summer.

“You’ve got your bag? How about water?”

“Yes and yes. We ran through this already, remember? I told you everything I had while you made breakfast.”

Emma smiled, knowing he was right, as crazy as it sounded. It was wild to her that on a weekday she would have the time, the patience, and the extra bit of cash to afford the spread they ate together today. They had eggs, fruit, bacon, oatmeal _and_ there were fresh pastries if they wanted. It was like their special holiday brunch, which happened on Christmas or on one of their birthdays, but they’d had this or something similar every day for nearly two weeks. It might seem over the top, but between the later starting hours here in Montenarro, her reduced work schedule with a generous stipend, and the fairer prices at the markets, Emma finally felt like she could give her son what he deserved. For years they’d chowed down on discount cereal, and now, in an attempt to enjoy themselves and resemble their new neighbors, they were taking a slower, and far and away more luxurious approach.

“I remember, kid. So I’ll be back here at four, and if I’m a little late -,”

“I just hang out a while longer, I know,” Henry said, looking to the doorway. A grin appeared at his face as he spotted one of his new friends. The other young boy waved in their direction and Henry waved back, causing Emma’s heart to melt. Her son not only had friends here, he was thriving. He was so happy, and seeing him this way made her happy too. “You don’t have to rush, Mom. I know your work ends early now, but maybe you could do something just for yourself.”

“Are you trying to tell me you’d rather stay later?” Emma asked, and Henry looked embarrassed for a moment before nodding.

“Not too much later, but Michael and Talia stay until five, and we’ve got this cool game going that we made up yesterday. It’s kind of hard to explain. But I can come home at four still. It’s okay, I’ll just -,”

“No, no, Henry, I am thrilled that you’re having a good time. I’ll be here at five.”

“Cool! Thanks, Mom!” Henry exclaimed, giving her a quick hug before heading for the door. “See you at five!”

She watched him get in safely, and the director of the camp who she’d met last week wished her a fond hello as she checked in Henry. Her greeting was pleasant and polite, and Emma knew if she had time the woman would talk her ear off about what it was like to be from America or the upcoming summer festivals. As it was though, Emma had to get going. She wasn’t late for work or anything, but she was eager to get there. Her work at the JR foundation was shaping up to be amazing. She was learning a lot, but she already felt like one of the team. Everyone who was there appreciated her, not just for working and helping out, but for her ideas. They were so responsive to suggestions, and always willing to try out any new concepts Emma had only really read about in books.

Their director, Marco, wasn’t like a normal boss. He didn’t hover or micromanage or come across as inaccessible. In fact, despite all the other calls on his time, Marco was with them all helping the kids and participating in their activities as much as he could. That leadership was so amazing in a space like this, and from everything Emma had experienced, the precedent he set was entirely reflective of the culture at large. Every person at the institute was determined to do right by these kids, and the children, despite the sad circumstances surrounding most of their lives, were doing so well and seemed so happy despite it all.

It was only a few city blocks from Henry’s camp to the center, but Emma let herself linger in the walk. She moved more slowly, matching the pace of the people around her, who never seemed to rush, and instead just enjoyed each day as it came. People were always smiling and laughing, and even the fighting was good natured. The streets were bustling but not full. They were cleaned regularly, maintaining the gorgeous cobblestone walks and the beautiful vintage architecture. It was warm here – a quintessential coastal retreat in the Mediterranean that she’d only ever imagined in her dreams or seen on travel TV. Everything considered, it was the opposite of New York, and despite having lived in the city she and Henry called home for more than ten years, Emma had to admit she didn’t miss it… at least not as much as she thought she would.

_Don’t get too attached, Emma. This is temporary. Enjoy it while you can, but your real life is nothing like this._

The voice in her head was negative, but had a point, and Emma had no choice but to heed the advice. She would enjoy every bit of this she could, but she couldn’t get too comfortable, otherwise she’d miss this when they left. Even thinking of the heartbreak that may come if Henry continued to love it here so much left her reeling, but Emma carried on, pushing down that worry as she made her way past the institute’s front gates. It was important that she be in the right headspace when walking through these doors. The kids deserved her at 100%, and that was what she planned to be for them. Shaking off the worry from moments ago she moved inside, and as soon as she arrived, she was greeted by the sound of children running and laughing.

Some people might look at this place right now, apparently filled to the brim with kids who were wired and excitable now that it was officially summer and the school term was over, and think that this was chaos, but Emma knew better by now. Every child here ranging in age from six months to sixteen was attended to and accounted for. They had a large brood of kids, with sixty-seven at last count, and this was the biggest home under the JR foundation, though there were half a dozen more around the small country. Many children who were here would eventually be adopted, or would merge into part of a nationally funded fostering program, known for being one of the best systems in the world. In their last two years of school, older children went to special homes or foster placements designed just for them, to give them the attention and time they needed (instead of leaving them to the wayside for the sake of younger, needier children), and to prepare them for life outside of the system. Emma would eventually shadow a center that worked with those young adults, but for now, she was enjoying the hustle and bustle of the general group.

“Look, Char, it’s Emma!” one young boy named Thomas proclaimed to his little sister Charlotte from across the room, and in seconds every child had turned and was excitedly greeting her. Some of them came right up to hug her or give her a high five, but at the very least they all nodded in her direction and chirped out a fond hello.

“Good morning everyone,” Emma said, noticing the bags along the doorway and how the older kids were dressed in a uniform of navy colored shorts and florescent green shirts. “Did I miss something?” Emma asked aloud, not really to anyone in particular, but an answer came from one of the institute’s most trusted sources.

“Flora is taking the older children to the seaside today for a science lesson.”

The woman who filled Emma in was named Elsa, and despite the humidity in the air and the exuberance of the children all around them, she was totally put together and looked completely unstressed. Her hair was tied back in her usual braid, and her turquoise colored summer dress flowed in a way that looked poised for a summer catalogue. Elsa was effortless in an enviable way, but she was so kind and eager to be of help that Emma couldn’t begin to muster jealousy. In a short time Emma had begun to consider Elsa a friend, but though the two of them were roughly the same age, Emma was still a student and Elsa was a fully-fledged child psychologist who lived at the institute full time. She, and her sister Anna, who also worked at the institute, but as an activity’s coordinator, were two peas in a pod, but they’d done everything they could to include Emma and help her get her bearings in this new world.

“Lessons? In the summer?” Emma asked, not surprised that the institute was providing supplementary schooling year-round. She’d seen as much since starting here, but she was more taken aback at how excited these kids looked. Every child aged ten and older was gathered down here, no doubt waiting to fill the two institute vans out back. Still, how fun could a science lesson be?

“We use the term 'lesson' lightly. For the rest of the morning the children will explore the tide pools at the national endowment’s shoreline about an hour north. There are some very unique ecosystems there, and so there is a whole lot to learn. But Flora will have them break for lunch and Anna takes over in the afternoon.”

“What’s she got in store for them?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“Well I can’t exactly say, as I’ve been sworn to secrecy.” Her smile grew at how silly that sounded, and she looked over her shoulder to check for Anna, but gave a little more when she saw that the coast was clear. “Let’s just say it’s going to be a jam-packed day that will go out with a _blaze_ of glory.”

The emphasis Elsa used on the word ‘blaze’ made Emma think that there would likely be a beachside bonfire included, but before she could get confirmation, things started moving quickly. The older kids were summoned to the shuttles to go out for their day, and Emma meanwhile saw the clock and realized it was time for her to report to Marco’s office to get her assignment for the day. Moving through the playroom and the sunroom, which had the younger children and the babies respectively, she finally found her way and after knocking she walked into the brightly lit hub of all things here at the institute.

“Ah, good morning, Emma,” Marco said with a big smile, waving her in and gesturing that she should take a seat beside one of the other workers at the institute, Marie. Marie was Marco’s second in command, and though she never used the phase herself, the children had taken to calling her Nana. She had a maternal way about her, and every child seemed to love her as they might a favorite grandmother. “You’re here just in time. I’ve been talking with Marie and we think that today would be a perfect opportunity to try one of your intervention measures.”

“Really?” Emma asked, surprised, but excited at the thought. This would be the third that they had tried, and the last two had gone off without a hitch. “Which one?”

“The ‘Music Makes Me…’ one seems like a good choice. We have a few children who, to now, have been less responsive to our normal socializing measures. Their either shy or hurting, and we’re hoping to help them open up. Elsa’s our counselor on shift today and she’s eager to help oversee this. You’ll take the lead, but she’ll be there for any help you might need. We realize it’s a long-term project,” Marco said, looking down at a piece of paper to check his facts. “You wrote here three times a week for eight weeks. Is that right?”

“Yes, sir. Ideally. Positive identity work can start yielding results as soon as three weeks, but the Princeton Psychology Review did a study this winter that showed children’s habit forming reaches its peak effectiveness after the eight-week mark.”

“And this is one of the projects you modeled off of your own parenting experience, correct?” Marco asked as Emma nodded. Her throat grew tight at the genuine emotion behind this tactic, but this was a place with people she trusted not to judge her. As such, she shared what sparked the idea.

“When Henry first started school, he was one of the only kids that wasn’t in a two-parent household. Even the other single parents had some sort of family behind them, like grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other kids. I’m not exactly sure how long he struggled with being different in that way, he’s an independent kid and he kept his pain over that closed in, probably to spare me from being worried. But when his teachers gave me their assessment and told me what they thought was happening, I set something not dissimilar to this up. We tried painting and crafting to express his emotions, but the music seemed to help so much more.”

“It’s really remarkable, the way you’ve melded your experience with your son and your own past in with all of this cutting-edge research. It’s one of the many reasons we’re so thrilled you’re with us this year,” Marie said cheerfully and Emma warmed at the comment. Telling the story of her son’s pain at not having a father, however vague she had kept it, was hard, especially because Emma lay awake many nights wondering if he was missing something fundamental by not having a father. She wondered if it may hurt him in the long run. But she was reassured by the fact that she always did her best for Henry, and that her experience could help not just her son, but the children here who had no present parents at all. 

“Given that it’s rather late notice, do you think you can manage? We’ve got a window right now for a few hours. Elsa’s already selected the children who may need the intervention most. She kept it in the 5-8 age range as you suggested.”

Emma immediately assured them that she could pull this together, as the concept was not hard. Basically what this practice/exercise included was playing music that was grounded in emotion. Some that were happy, some more subdued, some fast, and some slow, and encouraging kids to do what they wanted when they heard that. For Henry he’d always loved to run around and dance at the fast-paced songs. Then the slower ones were always more interesting. Sometimes he picked up a favorite toy, drew a picture on the supplies she left out, or created his own little imaginary game. All the while, however, Emma’s job was to engage, support, and ask questions.

The questions always started mildly. What’s your favorite color today? (she’d learned early not to box her son into ultimate favorites). If you could have any snack in the world what would you choose? What animal makes the funniest sound? Then the questions would evolve. Her son, like many kids, was a vivid dreamer and Emma often asked about those night time visions. Sometimes they meant nothing but sometimes they told her a lot. She wanted to include that with these kids, but also include more focused questions to them about how they felt here at the institute, what they felt like when they told people from the outside about living here, and what they dreamed of for the future. She’d always ended each session with Henry in two parts. The first was to ask Henry what his biggest wish was for someone else, and the second was to ask his biggest wish for himself. Kids at his age were filled with wishes and wants, but Emma knew from personal experience, that that may already be flickering away in kids without parents. She’d been seven years old when her hope truly started to fade away, and she believed if she’d had these kind of positive affirmations and people who were working to see her happy and well situated, her relationship with the world and herself would have been much easier.

In the end, Marco, Marie, and Elsa decided that there were five best candidates for today’s intervention. Stella and Timothy were a biological brother and sister who had been at the institute for about a year. They were eight and six, and both of them were doing pretty well despite their parents losing custody of them from continued problems with substance abuse. They were likely moving into a fostering situation by the end of the summer, but they had been here a bit longer than normal because they were bonded together and making that accommodation took patience and the right placement. According to Elsa, Stella’s teachers a few times had mentioned her shyness, especially when people brought up her home life. Malek was a seven-year-old boy from a similar situation, though his father was in the process of getting clean for his son. The institute was always cautious for replacement with parents who struggled, but if his father could demonstrate stability and stay clean a full year, the legal system would grant him custody again. Malek, understandably, had mixed feelings about going back, and Emma wanted to try and help him with those through this process. Carlos, meanwhile, was a rambunctious six-year-old who had been given up at birth. He was shaped by his status as an orphan, and had a few close adoption calls that ultimately fell through. Luckily, though, a new family with sincere interest and the means to take care of him was stepping up, and they had exactly eight weeks before the system would process their filing for adoption, a perfect amount of time to help Carlos with some of these image issues before he settled into his new home.

The final child in Emma’s care today, however, was Cecilia, or as the other children called her, ‘CeeCee.’ Cecelia was a newcomer to the institute, and at just barely five years old, she was the youngest in Emma’s group today. She was quiet and withdrawn, but given her background that was all to be expected. At such a young age Cecelia had already been through so much. When she was two her parents had tragically passed in a car accident, and she’d moved in with her grandmother. Her grandmother was loving and did everything she could for her, but she was in poor health, and was now in need of care herself. Emma wasn’t here on the day that Cecelia came to the foundation, but Elsa had mentioned it with tears in her eyes a few days prior.

_“I’ve seen so much heartbreak in this job, but watching that little girl realize she was being left behind… It was awful. She cried so quietly and for so long. It took us weeks to get her to say anything at all.”_

Even now Cecelia was always quiet. She’d blended in a bit more with the other children, but she wasn’t particularly bonded to any of them. She had grown to be more trusting of the adults, but not in a really promising way. With Emma she’d always been sweet and well-tempered, but Emma hoped that this process might help her, and might get her to a place where she could be better socialized and cared for. The next few hours proved to be even more promising than Emma dared to hope. All five children not only had fun, but made good steps towards progress. They all confided a little bit in Emma and Elsa, and they all responded well to the method. When Emma asked them if they’d like to do this again in a few days, all five of them were thrilled, and little Cecelia, who was normally so shy, was the biggest shock of all. Over the course of the few hours she’d opened up so much to Emma, and by the end of the session she was holding Emma’s hand tightly, intent on going with her through her day. Emma was so happy to see this little girl doing so much better, and she had to admit she was invested in this child, perhaps more than any other she’d met so far at the institute.

“Do you think it’s all right?” Emma asked, motioning downwards, but not saying everything aloud. The last thing she wanted was for Cecelia to not feel wanted when she’d made such tremendous progress, but she was worried about what might happen if she grew too attached.

“This happens sometimes. Kids have a sense for safe spaces. She was already responding really well to you before,” Elsa said, crouching down and waving at Cecelia, sharing a soft compliment for the toy rabbit she was carrying with her today, which made the little girl smile and chirp out a gentle ‘Thank You.’ Even that little show of gratitude and the genuine smile was an improvement, and Emma felt a burst of pride seeing this young girl come out of her shell. “We’ll keep an eye on it, but I think it’s best to see where it goes. She’s showing no signs of dependency, and hopefully you’ll be the perfect gateway for her to let the rest of us in.”

Emma hoped that Elsa was right, and as everyone in the center gathered for lunch, Cecelia stayed close by. Emma did her best to stay attentive to all of the kids who choose to eat with her today, but she also wanted to lead this lost little girl towards others who may be her friends. She was making good progress with another five-year-old named Ava, who was eager to be friendlier with Cecelia, when Marie approached, appearing frazzled and a little shaken.

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked, careful to keep her words calm and her tone even so as not to scare the kids. Her instincts were that something bad must be happening, but Marie shook her head, quickly dispelling her of that notion.

“Everything is wonderful, dear. We just have an unexpected visitor – actually I guess visitor is the wrong word. He’ll be staying on here for a while to work with us all. It’s a bit unexpected, but I dare say it’ll prove a delight in the end, for us and for the children.”

“Who is it that’s coming?” Emma asked, and Marie looked poised to blurt something out, but then caught herself and weighed her words carefully.

“One of the members of the family who run the foundation.”

Emma now began to understand the sudden rise in stress. Whatever JR stood for, and whichever family it was that could afford to spend so much on these resources, they must be both terribly rich and powerful. Being so new here, Emma didn’t know any background about the endowment, but she hoped that whoever was coming would be a help and not a hindrance. Surely they’d come here and see how much good work was being accomplished. She hated to think they’d be coming to make cuts or roll back funding.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Emma asked and Marie shook her head.

“Oh no dear. You’re doing a wonderful job. This isn’t an assessment of any kind. I believe it’s a genuine act of charity. You see he’s been in the military, and now he’s come home. His family’s no doubt pushing him towards some kind of occupation, and he’s chosen this as his pursuit.”

Emma wanted to ask more, about if this mystery man had any experience with kids or why, even if he was so very rich, Marie displayed school-girlish enthusiasm at his coming, but the older woman moved on to handle something else. Instead Emma waved Elsa over and asked her if she knew the man who was coming.

“Of course I do, everyone knows him,” Elsa said, thoroughly adamant that this stranger was of some notoriety. Then her features softened and she took on a thoughtful expression. “Well I suppose we know _of_ him. We’ve never met, you see. But it’s impossible not to know him.”

Emma nodded, but she was still somewhat surprised. To this point she hadn’t gathered a sense that the family who ran the endowment was exceedingly involved in the day to day of the center. But then again, Elsa had been here far longer than her, and so she probably needed to keep track of the important players who were their most generous donors. Emma could have remained hung up on the strangeness of it all, but instead her mind wandered to the few details she did know. He was a military man, newly home, and he was coming here to make a difference. She thought about that and what that meant, and she found that she already liked him, or at least his attitude. Serving in the armed forces meant a life of service – to come home from that and still want to help others was admirable, and she hoped it would provide a good role model for the children, no matter what his actual child life background might be.

From the window in the great hall where all of the children and staff took their meals, they could all see down the back drive where a second entrance to the center was located. At that moment three black SUVs began their ascent, and the children’s attention immediately perked up as they ran to the windows. Emma felt the growing anticipation at the new arrival, and she wondered why there would need to be three SUVs. It reminded her of the protective details that sometimes came in the city, when big time politicians made their way to city hall where she worked for some sort of meeting or photo op. But what would be the reason for such a display today? Why would anyone need one of those when coming to a children’s center? It was hard to grasp, but then she questioned her instinct. The men who exited from the vehicles weren’t in high profile suits. They were more casually dressed, just like any workers here at the center. She wasn’t able to see all of them, but soon enough there were voices in the hall. Marco and Marie greeted the newcomer, and Emma only caught a snippet of the conversation.

_“We’re thrilled to have you here, Sir.”_

_“_ Killian _, please.”_

_“Killian. Right, sorry. That may take getting used to.”_

_“Not a problem. We have time.”_

Emma was caught up in the sound of the new voice. It was distant, but even from here she felt an impact at the gravel in the tone and the lilt of the accent. It washed over her, sparking a sizzling sensation that was foreign to her, and after weeks in this country she’d always found the accent pleasing, but never responded like this. She found herself wanting to know what this man looked like, to see what kind of appearance could go with a voice that enticing, but she was getting ahead of herself. What did it matter what he looked like? He was going to be a coworker, right? This was hardly the time or place to be interested in someone. Still her stomach swooped with the tell-tale flutter of butterflies and she shifted in her seat. The action, along with the new voice in the hall, sparked something in Cecelia to change from comfortable to tense. The young girl grabbed at Emma’s shirt, latching on for a sense of perceived safety. Emma’s heart reached out to this poor, sweet girl, and she took her hand gently, trying to assure her as swiftly as she could.

“It’s all right, honey. You’re safe here. I promise.”

“I don’t like strangers,” Cecelia said and Emma tried not to get misty eyed at the sense of uncertainty this little girl held so tight.

“I was a stranger once, wasn’t I?” Emma asked and Cecelia considered that before nodding.

“But you’re nice to me. You read us stories and play us music. You’re my most favorite friend.”

“And you are my friend too, honey. So let’s wait and see what kind of person he is before we decide if we like him, okay? You never know – he could be your favorite too.”

Cecelia looked skeptical but ultimately agreed, and Emma was glad to have that sorted. She had been so focused on curtailing Cecelia’s worry that she forgot where they were. Now she noticed everyone else was standing, children and staff alike, so she helped Cecelia down from her seat and stood up herself. The sounds of people walking in played out around her, but Emma took a moment to make sure her young charge was settled before looking back up. She patted Cecelia’s hair and brushed her full brown curls from her face, with care. Only then did she look up. But when she did, she never could have expected what would happen.

As her eyes took in the stranger, their gazes met, and she was struck by a sense of recognition and realization that she’d never felt before. Something clicked for her in that moment, in the first few seconds of their seeing each other, and her awareness grew stronger and stronger. So much bubbled up to the surface, emotions and feelings and desire and interest. It was like something was opened within her, and she felt drawn into this man and unable to resist. This stranger had blue eyes, intense but warm all at once, piercing in a way that they seemed like she knew them and they knew her. Instinctively she looked to the rest of him - Killian he said his name was - but it didn’t help her sense of disorientation. His face was remarkable, strong and sure. His hair was dark, and his figure was no doubt honed for the expectations of his years of military service. She felt herself taking him all in, and then caught herself and thought about what a scene she was making. This wasn’t appropriate. Oggling this man just because he was hot – okay more than hot, he was… god was it lame to say perfect – oh Christ she was doing it again. She needed to stop, but when she looked up at him, she caught him doing the same thing to her. It was incredible to feel his interest, and for a moment it was like the world stopped spinning so the two of them could find each other.

_Find each other? Jesus, Emma, get a grip._ The thought ran through her head as Marco began to address them all.

“Everyone, this is our newest friend here at the institute, Killian.”

“You’re big,” a boy named Seamus called out, unceremoniously and for a beat Marco and Marie looked concerned, but Killian only laughed.

“You should see my brother.”

“Is he coming too?” Marie asked, looking like she might actually be done in by the news.

“No, ma’am,” Killian said with a small smile and Marie let out a sigh of relief. What was that about?

“Why do you stand so straight?” another boy asked and Killian explained.

“I was in the royal navy.” This was met by a chorus of oohs and aahs, from the girls and boys alike.

“Are you a good person?” someone asked, and only after a moment did Emma realize it was Cecelia. She was shocked at the display of bravery from her little companion, but then that was compounded by Killian’s movement towards them. He split his looks between Cecelia and her, but when he approached he crouched down so as to be eye level with the little girl.

“What’s your name, little one?”

“Cecelia.”

“Cecelia. That’s a beautiful name,” he said honestly and Cecelia swayed side to side a bit with the compliment. “Now as for your question, I certainly try to be good.”

“But you’re a stranger,” Cecelia said, looking at him with a furrowed brow, as if this was some kind of simple math he should understand.

“For now I am. But not forever, I hope.”

“My Emma was a stranger too. She’s a good person. Are you like my Emma?”

Now Killian rose to full height and he addressed Emma as much as he did Cecelia. “I do like her.” Emma’s heart skipped and then she watched his face shift in embarrassment as he realized what he said. “I mean I _hope_ I’m like her, lass. But only time will tell.”

“Miss Emma, does time talk?” Cecelia asked and Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing as her eyes caught Killian’s again.

“No, honey. It’s an expression. It means that with a little bit of time you will know if he’s a good person. You just have to be patient.”

The look Killian gave her in that moment was packed with so much. Gratitude, interest, and something more. There was a charge between them that she just couldn’t deny, and she could tell he felt it too. But before he could say anymore, Marco called everyone’s attention again.

“Anyone have any ideas as to how we should welcome Killian?” he asked and a chorus of answers came flooding in.

“I know! I know! We should show him our giving tree.”

“No! We should show him our playground!”

“I want to show him my pirate ship!”

“We should feed him the turnovers Cook makes. She hides them in a secret spot but I know where they are!”

“Well that all sounds brilliant, especially the turnovers. Why don’t we do all of it?” Killian asked, before looking to Marco who nodded readily. The kids looked excited, and were eager to go, but before things got too crazy, Killian looked back at Emma and grinned.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Emma.”

And with that, and with so much swag and sexiness it made her a little dizzy, this mysterious new man set off, throwing himself into the deep end with these kids, and showing them all that he could hold as own, just as surely as he could hold her attention.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! I know, I know, you’re probably mad I kept their meeting so short and waited until the very end, but next chapter I am planning to include this first meeting from Killian’s POV. This story, as much as any of my stories can, has a bit of a slower build, because there are a lot of elements I really want to include, but I promise there’s plenty of fluff in store and a lot of cuteness that yet to come. Thank you all so much for reading, and I really hope you’ll leave a comment or a review. I’d love to see what you all think and what you’d like to see going forward in this new fic. Anyway, I will do my best to update soon (probably next weekend), but in the meantime I hope you’re all well and safe in this uncertain time! I keep you all, and the rest of our hurting world in my thoughts, and I appreciate you, whoever you are. Hope this fic brings you a little bit of happy today, and wishing you all the best._ **


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So we are back now with another chapter of ‘Feels Like This,’ and you know I couldn’t resist a chance to show the first meeting from Killian’s POV too. This story is just a cute fluffy little exercise for my muse, and I wanted to let that continue in this chapter as well. There are some mentions of Killian’s past and some hints at the ghosts he carries, but by the end we’ll all be firmly in fluff-mode. Hoping you guys will enjoy this cuteness as a break from the stress in the world right now, and can’t wait to see what you all think!_ **

_“Alpha command, do you read us?!” Graham yelled into the sat-phone, but the only reply was the suffocating sound of subtle static. “This is team five, reporting. We need immediate backup. Again, immediate back up. Alpha?...Alpha?” Graham grimaced and looked close to chucking the offending device in his hand across the desert sand. “Comms are down, Cap, and they’ve got us nearly surrounded.”_

_“How many?”_

_“Twenty at least, probably more like thirty or forty,” Tink said from her perch as lookout. “Well-armed and trigger happy.”_

_“It’s an ambush in slow motion.”_

_“Fucking airborne!” Will yelled, his eyes widening from the adrenaline even as his voice grew high pitched from rage. “They were supposed to be here by now. What’s the bloody hold up?!”_

_“Doesn’t matter,” Robin countered, reloading his gun and grabbing his pack, readying for either fight or flight. The former would mean certain death, and the latter was by no means a guarantee they’d make it out of here. “We can’t hold this position surrounded. We’ve got to get out. We can take some down as we do, but there’s no way we survive an all-out fight.”_

_“What do we do, Cap?”_

_The sound of an explosion to their right rocked the dilapidated building they were using for cover, and his heart rate finally kicked into high gear. They had to get out of here, his instincts insisted, mission be damned. They’d find another way to get what they needed. Right now he had to see his crew saved from total annihilation. He moved to give the order when another explosion went off closer, blowing out the far wall. Fuck, they needed to move, Now! –_

Killian’s eyes sprung open, and his body flinched, springing into action on instinct alone. His chest heaved with quick, uneven breaths as if he’d just been running for his life. It took a few moments to realize where he was and to see that the memories from before were no longer his reality. He was not in the dessert on assignment, he was back at home in a bed that was too soft and spacious and pristine to ever feel natural. From the looks of things, it was still dark out, and a glance at his bedside clock confirmed that the sun wouldn’t be up for at least another hour. He’d managed to grab 4 hours of sleep, troubled as they might have been, and though the lingering fear still clung to him, that bit of rest was progress. He cautiously moved up from bed and stretched his limbs out, loosening his taut muscles that were stressed throughout his sleep, and schooling his mind to calm his body’s turmoil, dispelling the adrenaline to the best of his ability.

To a civilian it would seem an impossibly small clump of hours to function, but Killian had grown used to inconsistent sleep, and his body and mind were hesitant to rest for any longer than his deployment norm. He had the usual problems of a soldier returning home right now. The bed was too soft, the room was too cool, and the space was too quiet to fall asleep easily. Then when he finally gave into slumber, he’d rest and relax only to jump up, forgetting he wasn’t on a detail somewhere chaotic. If he slept too long he also tended to fall back into dreaming, and though he’d been spared the full extent of that particular memory from his last deployment, it was only a matter of time before the ghosts of that day came back to haunt his dreams.

_No use fighting it off. I’ve seen what I’ve seen, and I survived. Just keep moving. One step at a time._

Those words had become an anchor to him throughout the course of his service, and they helped take some of the edge off, though his body still held the familiar ache of unresolved stress. There was little he could do with that, but in the meantime, Killian chose to see the solemn quiet of this time of morning as a gift. He was up before the staff came in, meaning no attendants were on hand to see to him, and no one was poised to offer him coffee and breakfast. This gave him the chance to dress quickly, sneak out of his quarters, and head out the back way.

He hit the garden path just as the world began to brighten. The sun was still hidden, but that pre-dawn rosiness hung over the world. Automatically he moved past the landscaped path, forsaking the hedgerow which would soon hold one of the nation’s most magnificent living floral arrangements. His mother was exceedingly proud of those gardens, and she deserved to be. They might be maintained by a large landscaping work force, but she was out here every day, not just giving direction, but also helping tend the flowers that were her favorite. No matter how busy her schedule, his mother found at least an hour each day to be out here and do work, and that love and dedication had blossomed over the last thirty years most beautifully.

This morning, however, he was too restless for the garden. He needed some exertion, a reminder of who he was not as a prince but as a man. He set out for the steepest hike in the royal grounds, a trail he’d come to know from the time he was a boy. Some days he ran this path, but not this morning. No, today was about measured steps and observation. He wanted to experience the nature around him, and to blend in with the peace that existed here. The rigor of the climb and the steepness of these hills granted his body some much needed occupation. He’d been working out in the palace as best he could, wanting to stay in shape despite his early retirement, but that was never natural. Outdoor pursuits suited him much better, and when he finally reached the top of the rocky overlook at the far side of his family’s prime estate, his reward was far greater than any lifted weights or treadmill-based run. Up here, past the canopy of trees, he could see for miles. A blend of undeveloped hills and groves that led down to the coast, and all of it green and bold and brilliant. The land below was royally endowed, open to the public, but not until after the sun had risen. For now, there was no one out here. Just him, the earth, and the sea.

Alone with his thoughts as the sun appeared at the horizon, Killian’s mind wandered musing over the state of his world and where he must start going next. He was back here for good, and it was time to accept that, and he found that he could much easier than he once expected. Part of that was thanks to the help of his family in finding him a worthy use for his time, but there was more to it than that. He’d felt aimless for the past few years, despite the rigor and routine of his time in the navy. Something was missing for him, something more than honor and duty. Out here in the morning light he admitted that it wasn’t something but someone that he craved. He was ready for a partner, a woman who would see him as the man he was, not the man he seemed to be. He wanted connection, understanding, but mostly he wanted love. So far in his life a true love had eluded him. He’d had only fleeting tastes and failed potential. No lass ever stood out from the fray, and certainly none of them could see beyond his title. There was always that question of what a woman really wanted, and Killian hated that, and resented it more than he could say.

Despite being a rational, logical man, he must admit he liked the dream of what love could be. The greatest tales of romance spoke to passion and to lust, to desire so great it morphed into this unspeakable creation. Life was not worth living without love. Love was paint on the canvass, and magic in the wind. It had all this promise and was built up so high. Killian didn’t know if love like that could ever be true. It certainly hadn’t been for his parents. His grandparents, meanwhile had been deeply in love, but they’d both come from noble lineages. The expectation of their station was always with them, and their marriage was arranged and sorted out long before they could have any say in it. They were lucky to have a true respect and adoration for each other, and his grandfather had told Killian many times of how he took one look at Princess Eleanor of Gendora and fell head over heels in love, but even that felt too inorganic. What Killian craved was something authentic and defiant. It should transcend who he was and where he came from. It should make him feel, as nothing else ever had before, but he had to wonder if such a love would ever come. Perhaps he was not meant for such good fortune. Perhaps, it was just not meant to be. But he hated to accept that, not when he’d always wished for a love that strong, and for a family of his own to care for.

That sad thought troubled him as he watched the sun rise over the world, and as he finally made his descent from the hillside and headed back to the castle more than an hour later. By that time the grounds were alive with the abundance of staff who tended to the estate and to his family. No one gave his early journey any undue attention, and breakfast was the same as usual. The only difference was in his mother and grandmother, who were excessively eager to hear his plan for the foundation today. Killian had some things to settle with his superiors in the navy first, like submitting his final retirement papers, but that would be done by midday. The director at the children’s institute had told him yesterday that a good time to come would be the afternoon, and he’d been informed that the older children would be out today, meaning Killian would only see about half of their home’s occupants. He was intrigued at what this would be like. On the one hand this was important work, but would he truly be well suited to it? Only time would tell if the children would trust him, and he wasn’t interested in forcing anything. He was hopeful but realistic, but his mother and grandmother had different views.

“Oh my dear, you’re over thinking it. The children are going to love you, that is a certainty,” his grandmother said, waving her teacup with a mix of agitation and well-bred refinement that was quintessentially royal. “Just be sure to stay open to everything and everyone. That’s critical.”

“Um, right. Thanks for the advice Gran,” he said, not really understanding her emphasis on being open.

“You never know, you could really find your future there,” his mother added, her eyes filled with something he couldn’t quite pinpoint, but his mother and grandmother were spared further questions from him when his mother’s assistant called their attention to an impending public appearance. Quickly they left the room, but Killian couldn’t shake the sense that somehow the two most important women in his life were in cahoots.

“Any idea what that was about?” Killian asked his brother, and Liam looked up from the files in front of him. It was work he’d brought to the table and been pouring over all meal long, but just as expected, Liam knew exactly what Killian was talking about despite his multi-tasking.

“No, and that’s never a good thing.”

“They’re plotting something,” Killian added, wracking his brain for what it could be.

“They usually are. I’ll have Jefferson look into it.”

Killian appreciated the solidarity he had with his brother in this area, and they shared a bit more small talk before they both needed to be on their way. Liam had a country to run and Killian had the daunting task of fully removing himself from the royal navy. He had to go to base to see it done, but was offered the utmost amount of privacy. His higher ups thanked him genuinely for his service, not because he was the prince, but because he had earned it and they were sorry to see him go. Then the dreaded moment came when he had to sign and submit his resignation. He expected a sense of loss when he did this, but as he scrawled out his name in full and handed the sheaf of paper to the Admiral at the desk, he felt a strange sense of relief. A chapter of his life was now over, but in its closing another door would open. Maybe that door would bring him the fulfilment he was looking for. Maybe he’d find the love he really wanted. Maybe happiness would finally make its way into his heart.

“Excuse my impertinence, sir. But are you feeling all right?” one of the royal guards stationed to his detail asked as Killian returned to the SUV that brought him here. Killian knew the man had himself served in the navy before he ascended to this job. They had the shared understanding of what walking away from this active duty meant.

“Surprisingly so, Gus. Thank you.”

“Of course, sir. So, to the institute then?” Killian agreed and they headed out directly. The journey was not a long one, but the shift in land and scene and scape felt prudent. Killian was going from one world to another right now, despite their being less than an hour away from each other, and by the time they got there he was in a new headspace, ready for a fresh and interesting challenge to throw himself into.

Driving up past the gates of the Institute, Killian’s first impression was he was glad that the place appeared to be in good shape. He would expect nothing less from his family’s foundation, but when one said orphans and children in need, it usually sparked images of Dickensian squalor. While none of these children were in the best situation (for a loving family placement must always be superior), he could tell just from the outside façade that this place was a safe haven. There were outdoor toys and sporting equipment, areas for the children to play, and lovingly etched chalk designs all along the pavement and back walls. He smiled at the range of the work, from the scribbling of little ones to the more sophisticated imaginings of what must be the older teens. Seeing this all put him at ease, and as he stepped into the front hall, coming face to face with an older man and woman ready to greet him, he hoped to carry that good feeling with him.

“You must be Marco,” Killian said as he approached the man he assumed was the director. “My grandmother has great things to say about your work here.”

“I appreciate that. And might I say, we’re thrilled to have you here, Sir.”

“ _Killian_ , please,” he corrected as he offered his hand in a friendly greeting.

“Killian. Right, sorry,” Marco said with a somewhat bashful smile, extending his own hand to shake. “That may take some getting used to.”

“Not a problem. We have time.”

Killian looked then to the woman beside Marco, an older woman with silver hair and a stately presence. She was put together but also looked maternal, and in many ways she reminded him of his grandmother in her younger years. She had that same aura of kindness and good sense that children liked to flock to. She introduced herself as Marie, but her voice warbled with continued uncertainty. Like Marco, Killian could see how flustered she was in the face of meeting a royal, and his heart sank, but then he watched as both of them grew more composed and their energies settled into the seriousness of their work. They explained quickly about the children and how they were all gathered now in their post lunch activities. Killian didn’t know what the plan was, would he meet them one on one? Perhaps be assigned to one area? But then they walked in and every eye in the place turned his way.

In the sea of faces, which were all looking his way, only the adults seemed to realize who he was, and they schooled their features quickly, cognoscente of the children all around them and probably having been told about his wish to be more normal in this setting. The kids, for their part, just looked curious and Killian let out a sigh of relief. Still he felt a sudden sense of dread. Would he measure up to what they needed? Would they ever trust him? Could this really work? Could he really blend in? He felt a wave of something cynical and pessimistic wash over him, but then his eyes caught on a beauty so striking he nearly lost his footing. If not for all his years of expert training in self-composure, he’d have made a real ass of himself, but as it was, he felt stunned and mystified at the image there before him.

The woman who enchanted him at first glance was blonde and beautiful, with thick golden hair and soft, timeless features. She was delicate but capable, and he knew just from a glance that she would be a force of nature. The bow shape of her lips coupled beautifully with the symmetry of her features and the sun kissed tone of her skin. She was dressed casually, no doubt for the benefit of her work here, but he’d never seen jeans and a t-shirt look so good. His mind faltered in this moment, strung out on so many primal thoughts and desires, drowned out by only one instinct – he had to know her, get close to her, and see if she could possibly be real.

To this point the woman had still been sitting, while the rest of the room had all stood at his arrival. Killian noticed the little girl who was holding onto her, and from here he could sense the young girl’s worry. He couldn’t hear the mysterious woman’s words, but she said something that appeased the little one. The child nodded before they stood up, and for a fleeting moment Killian felt pride. This woman was no doubt adept at this, making this little girl feel safe and protected, but the thought flew from his mind as the golden-haired siren finally looked up and their gazes clashed.

_Bloody hell, she’s gorgeous._ The cursed words luckily never passed his lips, but he could think of nothing except how entrancing this woman was. Her eyes were so green, and even from across the room he could see the shade was strikingly similar to the natural landscape he’d escaped to this morning. He thought of summer grasses and the lushness of life, and when brought together with the rest of her, Killian couldn’t imagine a more perfect creature. She was undeniable, and he was absolutely thrilled that at long last he’d found her.

_Found her? You don’t even know her,_ his mind said but Killian ignored it. Perhaps that was sensible, but what use was there for sense in a moment like this? He felt the pierce of what must have been an arrow in his chest, and in that fateful moment he felt assured that this was the woman for him, and that he would do whatever he could to be the man she wanted too. He’d have kept staring at her forever if he could, but luckily Marco spoke up, introducing him to the children and the volunteers here.

“Everyone, this is our newest friend here at the institute, Killian.” Killian smiled at the use of his first name, and he let go an unsteady breath, reminding himself to breathe as he tore his gaze from the woman across the room and looked to all the kids.

“You’re big,” one boy called out, and Killian couldn’t help but laugh. He knew he was rather large compared to the average man. Special forces required him to stay in top shape, but then again every full grown man must seem big to a boy so young.

“You should see my brother,” Killian joked, for Liam had a good three inches on him in the height department.

“Is he coming too?” Marie asked, a fresh panic waving over her and Killian went to quickly ease her mind.

“No, ma’am.” The woman let out a sigh of relief but the children were hardly done with their questions.

“Why do you stand so straight?” another boy asked and Killian explained.

“I was in the royal navy.” The kids were instantly intrigued, and murmurs and exclamations abounded through the room. In the sea of questions though, one tiny voice stuck out most.

“Are you a good person?”

The question came from the little girl beside his mystery woman, and despite her initial fear, Killian noticed how bravely this child held her head up and looked him in the eyes. She must have no idea the weight of such a question, but in her mind it was a simply query: Was he good or was he bad? He moved closer to her, ever conscious of the beautiful woman beside her and then bent down to get to her level.

“What’s your name, little one?”

“Cecelia,” she said, her voice only betraying the slightest shakiness.

“Cecelia. That’s a beautiful name,” he said honestly and Cecelia swayed side to side a bit with the compliment. He didn’t know if that was a good sign, but he took it as one since she didn’t flinch from him or step away. “Now as for your question, I certainly try to be good.”

“But you’re a stranger,” the little girl said, looking at him with an expression that spoke volumes. Strangers were clearly a bad thing in this girl’s experience, and his heart felt for her. What must it be like to be so young and have so little trust? But then again he understood on some level – in his life there had never been much trust beyond his family, even when he was very young.

“For now I am. But not forever, I hope.”

“My Emma was a stranger too,” Cecelia said, tugging a bit at the hand of the woman beside her and Killian’s mind mulled over the beautiful name. Emma. It suited her. “She’s a good person. Are you like my, Emma?”

Now Killian rose to full height and he addressed Emma as much as he did Cecelia. “I do like her.” Oh fuck! He hadn’t meant to say that. Shit! “I mean I _hope_ I’m like her, lass. But only time will tell.”

“Miss Emma, does time talk?” Cecelia asked, totally serious, and Killian watched as the intriguing Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing as her eyes caught Killian’s again.

“No, honey. It’s an expression. It means that with a little bit of time you will know if he’s a good person. You just have to be patient.”

Hearing her speak for the first time only completed the spell, and Killian felt a rush of too many things. It was impossible to comprehend what led the way: awe, hope, interest. It all wrapped up so closely together, coalescing in this remarkable woman. The way she was with this little girl spoke volumes to her goodness, but despite his fumbled attempts to impress her, he could also see the tell-tale signs of interest. When she looked at him her cheeks tinted slightly pink, her eyes dilated, and her gaze wandered again, looking beyond his face and back down his person. It took everything in him not to flex. He felt damn good at her appreciating appraisal, and when she looked back up and her blush deepened, he was close to beating his chest. Again, he was saved from an announcement from Marco calling everyone’s attention and asking how they should best welcome Killian to the institute. The kids’ enthusiasm was infectious, and Killian was eager to do anything and everything they offered, but before taking his leave he made sure to offer some parting words to Emma, knowing they would hardly be the last that they shared.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Emma.”

A pleasure was underselling the impact of their meeting, but it was best not to come on too strong. Instead he turned back to join Marco and the kids, spending the next few hours learning the ins and outs of this place and meeting each child who was here in a flurry of excitement and random facts about their favorite toys or secret hide outs. The estate that housed the institute was large enough to give the kids good space indoors and outdoors, and there were a number of things he realized he could genuinely help with. They had a few building projects that needed set up and extra hands, and it seemed they could use some added help with the activities for older boys. None of them were here today, having all gone on some day trip to the coast, but Marco was convinced that Killian’s presence could be beneficial to them all. To Killian it felt like being shoved in the deep end and being forced to swim, but he always preferred that method in his life, and he found that in just one afternoon there was already a sense of rightness being here.

That sense of right was especially palpable any time Emma Swan crossed his path, which happened over and over again. Her roll here seemed to be general in nature, and she helped out with many different activities and support elements no matter what they were. She appeared totally at ease at every turn, and Killian watched her closely, noticing how dedicated she was to this. She was sharp as could be, with instincts that served her well, but she also was quick to ask questions and clearly wanted to learn. Some might have considered her capability intimidating, especially when he had no real experience to draw from, but he didn’t see it that way. Instead, Killian found her passion invigorating, and felt his own pleasure at being here heightened as she showed him how to fit in and gain some traction with these kids.

“You have a real way with children, love,” he said at one point, when a group of the little ones were hard at work on a new arts and craft project involving paint and beans and tin cartons. Emma’s eyes scanned over the room, taking stock of each child in attendance before she looked back to him and her cheeks flushed again.

“Thank you,” she said, brushing a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I haven’t been here very long, so we’re still getting to know each other, but I came here to help, and I hope that’s what I’m doing.”

“You’re new to Montenarro then?” Killian asked, watching as Emma helped one of the young boys with the glue he was using, never complaining about the mess he made, just trying to guide him to the purpose of the project.

“Brand new. Like less than three weeks new,” she affirmed before smiling at her little charge and giving the boy all her attention. “That’s brilliant, William.”

“Thanks, Emma!” The boy beamed, adding more to his can that to Killian looked like a lovable, but unknowable mess of dried legumes.

“And what exactly brought you here?” Killian asked, already so damn grateful for whatever the hell it was.

“The center’s fellowship. They offer it every year and people from around the world apply. I was chosen this year,” she said, appearing thoughtful before genuinely smiling. “Sorry, it’s still weird to say that out loud. I never thought that this would happen.”

“You didn’t consider the possibility when you submitted yourself for consideration?”

“I didn’t actually apply. One of my professors nominated me. Then they pulled a bunch of strings to get Henry and I settled.”

“Henry?” he asked, doing the best to shield his expression. Still the mention of another man was like a swift kick to his gut. He looked down to her hands again and saw no ring, but perhaps that didn’t mean anything. He felt sick to his stomach that she might have another man in her life already.

“My son,” she said, looking at him curiously and she was surprised at him. Too late he realized he was grinning like a mad man. “Why do you look so relieved? Most men hear a woman is a single Mom and run for the hills.”

“So you _are_ single?”

“Yes,” she said immediately and then “Wait you thought… That’s why you got that weird look just now. Not because you thought I had a kid.”

“No, love. I think it’s brilliant that you have a son. If he’s anything like his mother, he must truly be something.”

“Thank you,” Emma said, so much quieter than before, and before he could say anything else, the bell sounded for the kids, signaling this craft session was over and that dinner would start in fifteen minutes. “I need to collect all the projects. Would you mind watching the hand washing station? Be warned it can get a bit dicey.”

“Not a problem, Swan,” he said, and he saw the way her eyes widened at the use of her last name. She like it, perhaps more than she wished to let on, and he made mental note of that as he attempted to lead the kids to cleanliness. Emma was right about this job though, it had a definite splash hazard and involved fielding a never-ending litany of questions.

“What was the best part of being in the navy?” one boy asked.

“The men and women I served with. They’re my family now,” Killian said, sparking a longing look among more than a few of the children. “But also the travel. You can see the whole wide world on a ship, and the ocean is never a dull place to be.”

“Do you miss it?” another boy asked and Killian considered.

“I do and I don’t. It’s hard to explain.” The boy nodded like he totally understood, though there was no way he’d shared a similar experience.

“Were there pirates?” one girl asked and Killian considered his answer.

“Some men play at being pirates, but they’re not nearly as intriguing as pirates of old.”

“But pirates are villains,” another girl said.

“What’s a bill-an?” little Cecelia asked, mispronouncing the word, which she had never heard before. Killian helped her up to the sink on the little step stool and got the soap out for her to wash her hands. She was small, but so certain in her actions, it once again made him wonder at her bravery even as a little girl in a less than lovely situation.

“A villain is a bad guy,” the other girl replied and Cecelia looked stricken.

“I don’t like bad guys.”

“I know, little love, but not all pirates are villains. Some used to have honor. They were good men, they just… lived a little differently than the rest of us.”

“You sound awfully knowledgeable about pirates,” Emma said from the front of the room and he shrugged.

“Family legend claims that my great, great, great grandfather was a pirate.” The kids all grew wide eyed, but Killian focused on Cecelia. “But there’s nothing to worry about. There’s no pirate the world over who would ever dare to mess with the likes of you all.”

“We’d make them walk the plank!” one boy yelled, covering his eyes like he had a patch and waving a nearby paper towel roll like a sword.

“Argh!” A few other kids joined in on the action, but Cecelia held back.

“I bet you’d make a great pirate, lass.”

“Really?” She asked, looking around at the others. “But how does I be one?”

Taking a last look at Emma, and knowing he was about to venture into something embarrassing, he did his best to emulate a pirate. The words and the actions were exaggerated and over the top, but he was rewarded with lots of laughter from the little ones and a full smile from Cecelia. At one point they were all playing together and Cecelia came up and poked him at the side and tried her best at a pirate greeting.

“Hi hi, matey!”

Killian and Emma laughed at that and Killian patted her gently on the shoulder. “Just as I thought. You’re a natural.”

At that moment another woman he’d met this afternoon, a counselor named Elsa, appeared at the door. She could have been aghast at the display in front of them all, with the water on the floor and the kids acting like swashbuckling sea dogs, but instead she just laughed. “Oh my goodness. I came looking for my friends and I found all these pirates instead. But how will my friends have dinner if I can’t find them?”

“It’s us, Miss Elsa,” Cecelia said happily. “We is just pretending.”

“Oh thank goodness. Well let’s get a move on. Cook made us a wonderful supper. Wouldn’t want to miss it.”

The kids all hurried out, but not before they said goodbye to Emma and Killian. It was a rush watching them all go, and he felt a lightness in his heart that hadn’t been there for ages. But the moment he realized he was alone with Emma he grew even more excited. Finally they had some privacy, and Killian had no intention of squandering it.

“Has anyone ever told you that you cause quite a stir?” Emma asked. “The whole place has been buzzing about you all day.”

Instinctively he assumed she must be alluding to his being a prince, and his heart sank. In all this time he’d felt so normal, but there was reality come to call again. “The excitement surrounding my arrival is highly overblown. I assure you I’m not quite so remarkable.”

“Well the kids certainly think so. Who knew being a Captain in the navy was so impressive? And were you serious about the pirate granddad, or was that just for effect?”

Killian listened to the light laughter that slipped past her lips and he marveled at the sound and at this new realization. It dawned on him that she actually _didn’t_ realize who he was. She must not, right? If she was assuming their excitement came from his military career and his family’s strange potential origins, she might not realize he was a prince. It made sense in a way. She hadn’t been in Montennaro very long, and she’d never had any kind of awkwardness in addressing him today, but he assumed the whole staff would have been told the truth. At the same moment he was trying to figure things out in his mind, Emma reflected on what she’d said a second before. She suddenly looked stricken and began back peddling.

“Not that you’re unimpressive. I mean it is amazing what you did, you know, serving your country and whatever. You’ve probably seen and done so much, and I didn’t mean to make light of that. I just meant -,”

Hating to see her worry about what was a truly benign comment, Killian reached out to take Emma’s hand. The feel of her hand in his immediately prompted a response and the electricity between them was unparalleled. He’d never experienced a spark like that before, certainly not from a simple touch, and he could read in Emma’s eyes that she felt the same way. When he spoke his voice was quiet and gruff, filled with the emotion of this intimate moment.

“There’s no need to explain, love. And as for being impressive, there’s more than enough of that to go around.” His thumb ran over her smooth skin and he reveled in the small gasp she let out, probably without realizing it. It set him aflame to know she too was affected, and as he met her gaze again, he swore he saw his future written in their dreamy jade-colored depths. “You’re really something, love.”

“So are you,” she whispered, moving a fraction of an inch closer to him as she said it. He was so damn tempted to capitalize on that, and to seize this moment for all its glory and promise. He longed to kiss her, to taste her, to feel her in his arms where his heart felt she belonged. It was madness and bliss, but before he could do anything her phone began to chime, a recognizable alert that must be an alarm.

“Shoot, that’s my alarm for Henry. I have to pick him up from camp. I can’t be late.”

Despite his disappointment, Killian knew that for Emma her son should and would always be the priority. He respected and admired that, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“May I walk you out, Swan?”

“I -,” she sounded like she was going to protest, but then he watched her change her decision in her own mind to one that he vastly preferred. “I’d like that, actually.”

Though they didn’t move hand in hand, they kept a close distance to each other, and Killian felt a rush at still being with her but dread that they both had to go and take leave of one another. He knew she was working tomorrow, and he was dead set on being here all the hours that he could when she was around, but it was hard to picture leaving her. In just a few hours she’d come to mean something to him, and the thought of saying goodbye didn’t sit well in his chest.

“So what’s with the bodyguards?” Emma asked, pulling him from his internal reverie as she motioned outside to Gus. The others had left during the day, the caravan of cars he arrived in now only have one car physically on the premises, but he’d forgotten about all of them entirely. Killian tried his best not to react, and keep his face controlled. He had no wish to lie to her, but call him crazy, he enjoyed just feeling like an ordinary man for once in his life.

“His presence brings my family peace of mind.”

“Sounds a little extreme,” Emma said but she considered. “There’s nothing to worry about, right? For the kids I mean.”

Despite her caveat of it being for the kids, Killian felt she was a bit worried for him too. At least he hoped that was the case. If it was, maybe it meant she felt as much for him as he already did for her. “No, nothing. It’s just a precaution, and after all my years away from home, I’d like to give them whatever reassurance I can that I’m well and good.”

“That makes sense actually,” Emma admitted, thinking on it. “Before I had Henry I would have thought that was crazy, but now. Well, love can make you do crazy things.”

“It can indeed, Swan,” Killian said regretful that they’d already made it to the front gate and that this would have to be farewell, at least for now. “So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here,” Emma agreed, looking back at the building with a look of contentment before gazing back at him once more. “See you later, Killian.”

With that, Killian watched as Emma walked away, heading towards her son and their life here somewhere in the walls of the city. He did catch the moment where she looked back at him though, and it filled him with hope as nothing else ever had. It was only a second, and before long she’d slipped out of sight, but she never really left him. For the rest of the evening Emma was with him, in spirit if not for real, and Killian knew in his heart that meeting Emma had changed him, and that someday, somehow, he’d find a way to be with her, no matter what it took.

**_Post-Note: So… what did you guys think? I hope that you all enjoyed getting to see Killian’s POV on the first meeting. I know that I personally loved the fluff of this chapter, and I worked hard to make it authentic to the story and to CS as a whole. As with most of my stories, this is an insta-love, fluff-for-days kind of vibe, but there is a bit of intrigue. Like when will Emma learn Killian’s a prince? And will they be able to get together when that truth is revealed? It’s me writing it, so you guys can probably guess how things might turn out, but I can’t wait to share how this story will go and to keep writing this fic that’s been in my head and my heart for some time. As always I thank all of you so much for your support and kind words. They mean the world to me and I cherish every comment and message and review. So thank you, thank you, my friends! Now please, stay safe, be well, and have a great rest of your day!!_ **


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So let me start by saying how happy I am that you’re all still with me in this story and enjoying the fluff and cuteness. I had such fun with the meet cute, and as you no doubt have gathered this is a story all about instant connection. Emma and Killian are dancing around the inevitable, and this chapter finds that dance still happening a few weeks later. However, we’re greeted with some big steps in the right direction this week, and I *hope* you’ll all enjoy exactly where it heads. So, without further delay, here is the next chapter of ‘Feels Like This.’_ **

“Okay wait for it, wait for it…”

The cautionary words came from a young girl named Eloise, a fiery haired ten-year-old here at the center who was determined to finish her self-assigned mission of the morning. For over an hour Eloise and her band of merry workers had created flower crowns, bestowing them on every girl (and most of the boys) who were out here playing in the back garden. This included almost all of the staff, and finally, after working hard to wrangle her from where she was playing soccer with some of the older teens, Eloise had Emma in her grasp. This meant Emma was being fitted with a crown of her own, and not just any crown, a fairy princess crown that Eloise and the others were imagining specifically for her.

The crowns, to be honest, were beautifully made. Fastened from a mix of summer blooms, ranging in color and size and shape, they all held tremendous detail and design. Right now was the perfect time to make them too, since there was an endless supply of flowers all over the grounds of the institute. The garden was in full bloom, but was mostly off limits for tampering with. Luckily there were thousands of wildflowers in the meadows and all of them were free game for the kids to enjoy. Currently, most of the little girls were on a hunt for the best flowers to impress the older kids, and Emma was amazed at how diligent they all were in participating in this task. Emma assumed they’d all have grown tired with this little game of theirs, but they weren’t. If anything, they were gaining steam and growing bolder and more creative.

Emma looked over to Elsa and Anna who were sitting nearby, quietly allowing the other kids to place random flowers in their hair as well. The three of them shared a look of understanding – this was a super cute activity, but it really shouldn’t be this intense. Flower crowns were meant to feel rushed and free, but Eloise and her ‘assistants’ acted like world renowned stylists prepping for fashion week. Still it was sweet to see them all bonding over a shared goal, and on this easy going, picturesque summer day, none of them wanted to deny the kids anything. The mood all through the institute was positive and the stressors were low. It felt like a real gift, and Emma was happy for herself and for the kids that they could all be a part of it.

“What are we waiting for?” another girl asked, growing frustrated with Eloise’s fastidiousness. “It’s perfect. She looks like the queen of the pixies, just like we wanted.”

“I know that,” Eloise replied, annunciating in a way that was dripping in the authority only a child at play could muster. “It just needs one more flower right here in the center, but I don’t know what kind. It has to be just right.”

“Maybe a bluebell?”

“Too small.”

“How about a violet?”

“Not rare enough.”

“Maybe one of the roses?”

“Uh, uh, uh,” Anna cautioned, nodding towards the larger group across the ways. “If Marie sees any of you going for her roses, there’s no telling what kind of trouble we’ll get into.”

“Right, no roses,” Eloise agreed before groaning and throwing her hands up in frustration. “I just don’t know which to pick.”

“This one,” Cecelia offered, bravely approaching the older girls with a precious blossom hidden in her hand. When she revealed the flower, it was bold and beautiful, and she must have looked long and hard for such a gem out in the meadow. It was similar to a rose, but looked more wild, and the gradation of the petals from a deeper pink to a pretty pastel felt distinctly European. Emma had never seen a flower like that back home. But then again, she’d never in her life had the chance to make flower crowns in the first place.

“Oh my God it’s perfect!” Eloise said happily. She moved so quickly as to snatch it from Cecelia, but the little girl was quick, pulling back and guarding the flower close.

“It’s pink, like for a princess,” Cecelia declared, eying Eloise with some traces of doubt.

“It’s really beautiful,” Eloise agreed. “Can we use it for the crown?”

“For _Emma’s_ crown,” Cecelia emphasized and Eloise nodded.

“Yes, Emma’s. Here you can help me put it on.” Together the two of them worked to attach the captivating flower, fastening it to Emma’s crown with careful attention. Then Eloise even went so far as to fix Emma’s wayward waves, which the girls begged her to set free from her hair tie when she sat down here.

“Thank you, Princess Cecelia,” Emma offered, reaching for the little crown on Cecelia’s head. It was made of yellow and white flowers, for that was all the little girl wanted, and it made Emma so glad to see Cecelia respond to the endearment with pride and joy.

“I like being a princess,” she chirped happily, and Emma’s heart lurched in her chest.

“Well you always are, honey. In here,” Emma said, placing her hand over her own heart. Cecelia followed the action and nodded.

“Right, in my heart.” Her little accent was so cute, and coupled with the stumbling she still made over certain words and sounds, Cecelia was a heartbreaker for sure.

The cuteness of her display made Emma’s eyes mist over. She rarely had this happen in the past, despite all her work with kids, but with Cecelia she was admittedly attached. This little girl was working so hard to come out of her shell, and over the past three weeks she’d bonded to Emma more and more. She was precious, but she needed the space and the confidence to see and to feel that. Every day she made progress in socializing, and the fear she once carried was beginning to slip away. Someday, Emma knew, Cecelia would be past that fear, and she’d be what she was supposed to be – a child – once more. Emma wanted to be the one to help her get there, to help her make friends and make peace with herself too. She felt tied up with this child especially, though she cared for every kid here at the institute. But Cecelia was special, a favorite for sure, and any time Emma saw her making progress she found herself getting weepy, as she only ever had with her own son.

“Hey, Emma?” Elsa asked, calling her attention. Immediately Emma knew that her knew friend was reading her emotions. Elsa was almost witchlike in that way. She picked up on energy and emotion faster than anyone Emma had ever met. It made her a wonderful counselor, and so far a good and honest friend. “I think Killian and Max might have forgotten about the picnic. They’re not here yet and were over at the barn. Would you mind grabbing them?”

Emma was so grateful for the out and she said she would, promising all the girls she’d be back soon, but appreciating the chance to get herself together. No matter where the tears came from, be they happiness or pride, these kids didn’t need to see them from adults, not when their lives were already fragile enough. She could give them all the wrong idea and ruin what was otherwise shaping up to be a lovely afternoon. Getting some distance from them all for a moment would help her collect herself, and if she was honest, it definitely didn’t hurt that the errand she was being sent on involved finding Killian, a man who also made her feel so much but in a completely different way.

As Emma made her way to the barn, she wiped away the tears that had started to form in her eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling it harshly as her hand came over her throat. She wanted to knock away that warbly voice that always came when she was emotional before it had a chance to appear. If she’d learned anything over the last three weeks, it was that Killian was observant, and if she gave any indication she was feeling something the least bit negative, he would know. She didn’t hate the idea of him comforting her or sharing the cute new memory of Cecelia with him, but with Max there too, it just wouldn’t be the right time.

The further away from the garden she trekked, the quieter things became. The constant squeals of excitement and enthusiastic chatter from the kids ebbed away and in its place were the sounds of bees buzzing and birds singing their songs. The leaves moved gently on the wind, and the trickle of the brook came from the tree line. It was like a whole different world out here, so removed from the chaos of the kids, but as she rounded the back corner of the greenery building, Emma stopped in her tracks at the sight before her. If she had any less control, her jaw would have dropped straight down.

Good Lord in Heaven, that right there, was a sight for sore eyes.

Since getting here bright and early, Killian and Max had both been working hard out on the barn, but Emma didn’t realize that their work would be so physical. It was warm out in the summer sun, and they were lugging big beams from one end of the yard to the other. She managed to catch them through one full motion of it, and her eyes were locked on Killian, from the way his muscles bulged at the exertion, to the way he led the situation with such ease. When they tossed the beam down twenty feet across the field, Emma got a full look at his biceps, and then he pulled the bottom of his shirt up to wipe away his face and… God Damn, was that his body? Seriously?! How was that even real?

“Emma!” Max greeted her amiably when he realized she was here. Then his brow furrowed in concern. “You all right?”

Uh oh. Busted. Emma was caught and she knew she had to be bright red at this point as she stumbled over her words. “Uh yeah, I’m fine. Great actually. But um. You know. The uh. Picnic?”

“It’s started already?” Max asked, but Emma’s eyes stayed on Killian who was looking at her with a grin too wicked handsome to turn away from. He knew she’d been looking at him and now she couldn’t tear her gaze away. “Well I’m heading over there. Cook’s making pecan biscuits today, and they never last long.”

Without waiting for them, Max booked it out of there, leaving Emma and Killian alone. Her mind was on overdrive, racing a million miles a minute, and as he walked towards her, she felt lost and found all at once. It was disorienting and exhilarating, and she was caught, like a moth drawn to a flame.

“So, you missed me, Swan?” he asked, grabbing his canteen from the ground and taking a long drink after what must have been hours of hard work.

“I - what?” she asked, distracted by the way his Adam’s apple moved up and down as he swallowed. Damn, did it somehow get hotter out here? It took everything in her not to fan herself.

“You risked leaving the picnic and forsaking Cook’s sweet treats to see that we joined you. Call it wishful thinking, but it makes me hope that perhaps you missed me.”

“Elsa sent me,” Emma clarified, clearing her throat as she shifted her stance, shaking away the distractedness he’d inspired in her. “The food’s not even out yet.”

“That may be true, but it’s not a denial. Maybe you did miss me. God knows I missed you.” The words were bold – bolder than any he’d said to her so far and his eyes raked over her before coming back up to the flowers in her hair. 

“The kids were making these in the meadow. I know it’s not my usual style, but… what do you think?” she asked, and she felt the charge of Killian’s blue eyes as they took her in.

There was so much swirling around in his expression. The hunger was still there, flaring and real, and so was the affection that had grown the past three weeks of their getting to know each other. But there was something more too, as if her simply teasing query prompted big feelings for him. Whatever it was made her breath catch. Maybe she came across as silly like this, playing with the kids and letting them put flowers in her hair. She looked away, back across the meadow to where the kids were by the center way out yonder. She tried to hide her insecurity and then felt his presence as he closed the space between them. One hand came to her hip while the other reached up to tilt her face back his way. She felt the brush of his fingers as he sought to bring her attention back to him. She followed his lead, and when she looked at him there was so much written on his face. If she didn’t know better, she would say that was love in his eyes. But that was crazy. They barely knew each other.

_You know him. He’s the one you’ve been waiting for,_ her gut said and her heart clenched at that.

It was such a ridiculous notion, but it felt right to her. They may not know every detail of each other’s lives, but she’d seen the shape of who he was over these past few weeks. He was good and kind, strong and determined, and smart too. He tried not to over-insert himself in things, but when he spoke up his ideas were always great and his instincts with kids were spot on. He impressed her each and every day, but more than that he made her feel desirable. It was practically Victorian, the way they were stealing glances and quiet moments, with all of it coming to no real head. At least a dozen times over the last few week’s there’d be this window of possibility, a glimpse of ‘what-if’ where the rest of the world faded away. Every time she thought something might happen, but it never did. Instead it was like they were waiting, luxuriating in the anticipation of it all, and pushing off the pay off just a little bit more. It was the opposite of what she was used to in her romantic life (not that there had been much of one to speak of), but Emma loved it, and her gut told her that Killian was different for a reason, and that he was right for her. She felt like he’d always been a part of her life, and she wasn’t nearly as scared about that as she should have been.

“I think you’ve never looked more beautiful, Emma, and believe me, with you being who you are, that is saying something.”

Her heart hammered in her chest as her eyes flicked down to his lips. It was hardly the first time she’d wondered what he’d taste like. This energy that surrounded them told her that one touch of his lips would start an inferno, and she was terrified of unleashing that, but also desperate not to let it pass her by. She wanted him – no, she _craved_ him - and every day it was getting worse. The more she saw him here with these kids and with her collogues, the more layers she peeled away of this thoughtful, handsome, curious man, the more she wanted to see and to share of herself. No one had ever prompted a reaction like this from her. It was reckless, and driven by emotion, but her intuition wasn’t telling her to run for the hills or protect herself. It was daring her to jump, and to see if what she thought might be here could really exist.

_Fuck it, just go for it, Emma_. _You know you want to._ And she did, God did she want to. So she moved forward, closing the distance while he did the same and –

“Miss Emma!” One of the kids hollered from the other side of the meadow, but Emma and Killian jumped apart at the interruption, realizing this definitely wasn’t the time or place to be doing this, heart wrenching as that was. “You promised us a rematch!”

“Be right there!” she yelled back, relieved when the boy grinned and sprinted back towards the group. She let out a sigh, and though part of it was based on gratefulness that they hadn’t really been caught, there was also disappointment that the moment had to end this way. “Sorry about that.”

“Not nearly as sorry as I am, love,” Killian said, and Emma’s brow furrowed. She was confused at his meaning until he explained. “I shouldn’t have hesitated. I should have kissed you when I had the chance. Won’t make that mistake again.”

“Oh,” she said, surprised but excited at the prospect. She liked that he made his intentions far clearer than men usually did. “Good.”

“Good?” he asked, his voice holding a bit of amusement, but there was a genuine curiosity there too, as if it wasn’t totally obvious that she was interested.

“Yeah, good,” she quipped, and with a final smirk over her shoulder she turned back. She headed through the meadow to the picnic once more, all the while feeling Killian’s eyes on her, hinting at the promise he’d just made that she was desperate for him to make good on.

…………….

Gods above he’d wanted that kiss. More than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.

Despite the general merriment of the picnic today, Killian couldn’t help wishing that he could go about an hour back in the past and live every beat of that interlude all over again. If he’d had any sense, he’d have kissed Emma Swan the moment they were alone together, even though that moment had been fleeting.

Perhaps some might think that he should ask her first. Etiquette and politeness would suggest that a prince should never kiss a lady on a whim, but fuck politeness. He and Emma had been caught in this net of mutual interest for three weeks, and every day his want to have her grew. He knew from all the moments that they’d spoken, and even more from the moments where they’d been with each other, working side by side to make the lives of the children here better, that Emma was interested in him too. He couldn’t fathom how that could be, how a woman as remarkable as her could be attracted to him in return, but he couldn’t deny it was the case. Especially during moments like earlier, where he caught her watching him. In those windows of time, she had none of her usual walls erected, and he could read her plain as day. She wanted him, more than a passing fancy, and he had every intention of giving himself to her for whatever role she saw fit.

_She may not still want you when she learns the truth._

The thought charged into the forefront of his mind like a rhino on a rampage, and the impact of it pained him more than he cared to admit. The reason for the fear behind that thinking was obvious – three weeks in and Emma still hadn’t realized he was a prince. He had no clue how it had gone this long, but every day was another day where she didn’t realize who he was. A part of him was addicted to that feeling. Those looks she was sending him, the trust she was building with him, that was forged in an interest in him, Killian. Not Prince Killian, not the second in line to the throne, not even the veteran of war who had served with honor and distinction. No, when Emma was with him, she was with _him_ , and she saw him and accepted him and wanted him too.

But while there was a real contentment in being accepted for who he was, there was also a tremendous amount of guilt. Emma deserved to know all the facts, especially since he wanted a future with her. He couldn’t run away from this forever, and it needed to come from him. He worried every day that someone else would let it slip, and so far he’d been lucky, but luck could only last so long. He’d even tried to tell her half a dozen times, but every time he went to say it, he pictured a terrifying moment, a moment where she’d hear this, see the truth, and reject him. What if who he was to the rest of the world was too much to Emma? What if it made her pull away? What if this perfect private passion that they shared was tainted? It killed him to imagine such a scenario, and so he’d chosen a coward’s way out, clinging to all of the good right now, and hoping that the intensifying attraction between them would grow enough to keep her with him, even when his secrets were all revealed.

“Whatever is on your mind seems serious.”

The words came from Marco, who had appeared at Killian’s side here at the picnic. The man was constantly moving, running things here with a precision and a pure good naturedness that astounded Killian all the time. And in the midst of all of his actual work and responsibility, the man made time to be a mind reader. This was not the first time Marco had confronted him with a knowing look and a claim too correct to counter, and Killian doubted it would be the last.

“Aye, it is.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m certain it’ll all work out. The things that trouble us always do. One way or another, everything comes out in the way that it should.”

Killian didn’t reply, but he hoped that the older man’s words would ring true. He could handle anything, go through any hardship, as long as it meant getting to the other side and having Emma still with him. What a crazy thought that was, to so firmly believe in something that had yet to even really begin, but he couldn’t help the way he felt, and he had no real interest in trying to do so.

“But in the meantime, I was hoping you could help me with something.”

“Anything.” Killian offered, knowing that whatever was about to be asked for had to do with benefiting these kids. In three weeks time he’d grown attached to them all, and he’d do whatever he could whenever he could to help them.

“The children are headed to the wildlife preserve next week, and we are working to arrange everything. They’ve got it all laid out, but the preserve needs someone to go make sure things are set up for how we’ll need them next week. We’re bringing some of our own supplies, and there won’t be room in the vans when we’re bringing the children.”

“I can go. But I’ll need to bring -,”

“Your detail, yes. The dowager queen made it very clear that any off-site work would require their attendance. However, she assured me that she’s spoken to the King about some more lax protocols.”

“When did she…?” Killian trailed off, not bothering to ask when his grandmother might have mentioned that. She was a meddler by trade, and it was often better not to ask those kinds of questions. “Never mind.”

“I spoke with Jefferson and he agreed that it’s possible for you and Emma to drive in the van with the detail in a sperate means of transport.”

“Right. Right. Wait – Emma?” Killian asked, he hadn’t realized Emma was coming. This all suddenly took a big step in the direction of enjoyable now that he knew she was coming.

“Yes, Emma. She’s been working with Anna and Elsa on plans for the trip. She’ll know where everything needs to go, and both Elsa and Anna are needed here this afternoon. Emma’s the best one for the job.”

“Of course she is,” Killian said, not with any sarcasm, but full honesty. In his estimation Emma was the best one for every job, but he hadn’t meant to give that away in front of Marco, no matter how observant the institute’s leader may be.

“Well I appreciate the help. It’s likely best for you to head out now. The head of the learning and enrichment center at the preserve leaves early on Fridays, and she’s got the key to the portion of the preserve we’ll be visiting.”

Killian heeded the instruction and watched as Marco went to tell Emma the same thing. He noticed the surprise on her face at the new errand they were going on, but then she looked at him from across the picnic and smiled. God she was beautiful. And he was the lucky bastard who got to spend all afternoon with her. The thought excited him to no end, and as they took their leave from the picnic and headed out back to the van, his whole being came alive in a way that seemed more befitting a teenager in love than a man about to set off for a wildlife preserve.

As they drove the thirty minutes or so to the park, Killian found himself slipping into a sense of normal so much sooner than he would have anticipated. Soon he forgot about the presence of his detail and how out of the ordinary this was for him. He didn’t get to drive much, definitely not since leaving the service, and he’d certainly never driven with a woman who interested him so much. Here they were, sharing the space and just discussing the upcoming week’s activities for the children and Killian hung on her every word. Emma explained in intricate detail all the parts of the process that they’d planned out. This was more than just an outing to give the kids occupation, it was going to have an outdoor classroom component and also some discrete, blended group therapy. That was where Emma and Elsa came in most. Emma was still in school studying how best to provide for children in tumult like this, but Killian discovered much of the itinerary for next week came from plans she alone had designed.

“If you don’t mind me asking, love, why is the preserve the best place for work like this?”

Killian had zero doubt that it was the best place, and he knew that Emma and the team would have thought about this long and hard, but he wanted to hear her explain it to him. Her passion and enthusiasm did something to him that he’d come to crave, and every time she shared her thinking he felt he understood more, not just about her but about this kind of work. For the sake of the children at the institute, he wanted to learn as much as he could, and to find a way to always be a resource to these people and not a detriment or a let down.

“Well the themes of the group work line up really easily with their lessons for the day. Also the animal component. Studies done at the University of California demonstrate that children and young adults take comfort in animals and also practice this kind of self-projection when in their presence. Animals are proven empathy boosters. They’re tied up in a lot of emotions for kids, and for some of the charges here they are also a real wonder. They’ve never had much exposure to the world outside of Montenarro, or even the world outside the institute. We’re hoping the trip will be a sphere of possibility for them all, and therapeutically speaking, you can accomplish so much more with positive ‘what-ifs’ than anything else.”

Killian did his best to keep his eyes on the road as Emma explained all of this, but he kept glancing back over to Emma, tracking the motion of her full lips and the way her hair came loose from its ties as the breeze came through the open windows. Her voice moved over him like warm honey, and he was calmed and intrigued. He heard everything she said, reasoned that it was all brilliant, as per usual, but he found he didn’t have much to offer back. This was so outside of his wheelhouse. Everything they did here was about healing and growing. His past had been filled with fighting and defending. Those skill sets took very different parts of a person to finesse, and while he believed the royal navy could learn more than a few things from Emma, the way things currently stood, her work and his past occupation seemed miles and miles apart.

“I’m sorry for rambling on and on like that. I’m still not used to being here. Everyone really cares in a way that’s so rare, and I tend to get a bit over excited.”

Without thinking, Killian took one of his hands off the steering wheel and grabbed Emma’s hand. She stayed frozen for a moment but then her hand molded to his, grasping his back in a way that filled him with peace and elation.

“Never be sorry for what your heart decides, love. It’s clear as day you love this work. You have a real purpose, and you’re making real change. That’s something to be cherished, no matter what.”

Emma whispered out a thank you, and her thumb ran against his hand absentmindedly. They kept their hands together, clasped liked that as they continued the drive, and unfortunately it was too short for Killian’s liking. Before they knew it, they were there, and the time for them to talk had come and gone. But Killian took joy in the fact that they had the whole drive home to share together too. He smiled at that as he parked the car past the front gates and just outside the preserve’s outdoor classroom pavilion. Soon though that happiness and easy going feeling fled as a thought dawned on him for the first time this outing – he was no longer on turf where people knew to treat him normally. What if he was recognized? What if someone gave the truth away? _Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

“Hey that’s the same insignia as the institute. I didn’t realize this was a JR Foundation grant too,” Emma said, and the unease coursing through him grew inordinately stronger.

“Um, err, yeah – I mean yes,” Killian said, scratching behind his ear and trying to fend off the embarrassment. “The preserve was donated by my family a long time ago though. Land prices were a different story then.”

Damn, why did he have to go and say something like that? Now he just sounded elitist, and that wasn’t him at all. Thankfully Emma laughed at him, taking his awkward bumbling as an intended jest instead of the show of panic that it really was.

“Right. Wouldn’t want to be too generous. I mean you all are already enriching the lives of all of those kids. Gotta spread out the random acts of kindness.”

With her lighthearted barb, Emma directed him towards the research center and told him that there was a woman here they’d been connected with. Emma warned him that the woman was a little… off, but in a well-meaning way. Killian just hoped beyond hope that she was old, frail, and barely able to see. Maybe he’d get lucky and she’d have thick glasses and a bit of a spotty memory. He hated to pray for anyone to have such ailments, but in this moment he was tempted.

“Hello? Zelena? Are you here?”

_“In the back, dear.”_

Oh well that was a good sign, right? Who called people dear at this point? Only his grandmother and at times his mother as far as Killian knew. Maybe he would get lucky after all. But then movement came from the back room and they were greeted by a younger woman with no glasses in sight, and a discerning face that made his stomach drop. Shit, she recognized him. Bloody hell, what was he going to do.

“Marco sent us to drop some stuff off. Killian and I just wanted to make sure that the back lot is still good?” Emma’s use of his first name made the other woman’s brows rise, but she took it in stride, only casting another glance of questioning at him. Killian was attempting a poker face, but he wouldn’t be surprised if this woman could sense his internal turmoil. Either way, she surprised him with her casual reply.

“Yes, that’s perfect. I’ll take you both back there,” Zelena said breezily, grabbing a set of keys and leading them outside. Emma and her spoke about the upcoming outing, and Killian kept waiting for things to take a turn, but they didn’t. This was nothing but a positive exchange. Emma’s comment was proven true, as Zelena did seem to have a tendency to interrupt with wildly irrelevant facts about the natural world and quotes from long dead naturalists, but Killian would listen to her talk about just about anything as long as his secret was spared.

_The second we get out of here, I’m telling Emma the truth. I should have told her already. Please God, don’t let me be too late._

Finally, Zelena opened up all of the necessary pens for Emma and Killian to drive the van up here and set up. They all of them unloaded the materials for the outing next week, and covered up things with tarps on the off chance that there was rain. It was much quicker work with three of them acting on this together. But when they were finally finishing up and Emma had bid Zelena goodbye and thanked her once more, Zelena turned to look at him and hit him with a swift punch right to the gut.

“If you don’t mind me saying, you really do look so much like your brother.”

And there he was, left exposed and found out. He did everything he could not to wince openly, and he tried to get his bearings enough to say something else, but Zelena continued.

“But that’s pirates’ blood for you. Dominant stuff. Strong hereditary nature.”

He almost sank to his knees in relief as Zelena turned back around and walked away, all while prattling on about pirates and their effect on Montennaran geneology. She’d mentioned his family, but not their being royals. Maybe he was all right? He looked to Emma to see, and her look of shock scared the shit out of him all over again.

“Wait, so that pirate thing was real?”

“Aye, it was real,” he hedged.

“And everyone just knows that little tid bit about your family?” He nodded. “They must be a pretty big deal to have such a well-known reputation.”

“To me they’re just the people who love me most in the world,” Killian answered honestly.

And that was the truth. He didn’t see his family as royalty, at least not primarily. They were just people, the people he belonged to. Sure they played a role in the public life and persona of this country, and they were not allowed to live the full scope of normal that other people could partake in, but the love that bound them was no less real, and neither was the loyalty and honor that he felt for them. Still, he wasn’t doing any of them a service right now. This was his chance to tell Emma the truth. Just rip off the bandage so to speak, but her response threw him off kilter.

“I understand that. I never had anything like that until Henry, but now… family is so precious. I’m sure that’s just as true, even if you all have a bit of money.

“There’s more than money in our picture, I fear,” Killian said, trying to find the words to express this to Emma delicately. He didn’t want to just come out and say it, so he maneuvered around it all as best he could. “Being in my family comes with a certain level of responsibility. We’re fixtures here, property of public perception as much as we are of ourselves.”

“That sounds terrible,” Emma said softly, reaching out to touch his arm. The action was one meant to comfort him and he wish she could understand how true that was. But she surprised him with even more astute observation. “And it also sounds like the opposite of what you’d want for yourself.”

“You can tell that?” Killian asked and Emma nodded.

“Yes. You like to be useful, and you take pride in doing what’s right. Maybe that’s from your time in the service, but I suspect that’s just who you are at your core. You’re a helper, to the kids you’re a hero, but the second you get the recognition for it you kindly direct praise elsewhere. The spotlight seems like the last place you’d ever want to be.”

“Exactly right,” Killian acknowledged, gearing up to make his confession. “Emma, the thing is-,”

“Sorry to interrupt, sir,” A voice said from behind them, and Killian knew it was Jefferson before so much as turning. Still the presence of another person startled Emma enough to make her jump. Instinctively Killian grabbed her hand as a means to calm her. “But we’ve got a situation at the –,” Jefferson caught himself before saying too much. “Ehrm, something’s come up with your family.”

“Is everything all right?”

“Your brother needs your help with the board sir. I’m afraid it can’t wait.”

The board was a running joke in the family, and it stood for parliament. Liam needed his help with parliament? Killian had no idea what he could possible need, but whatever it was it couldn’t be good. Liam had never interrupted him at work, respecting Killian’s balance of life and duty. For him to make this move meant something, unfortunately it came at just about the least opportune time possible.

“You should go. I can get the van back to the institute. I was paying attention to the route up here. It seemed straightforward -,”

“Jefferson, have John see Emma back,” Killian said, looking to Emma and shaking his head. “I know that you could manage, love, but I also know you’re not used to driving here. Please, let me help, even if it’s nowhere near enough.”

“Sure,” Emma agreed easily, and he saw the worry in her eyes, guiding the way she was handling this with him right now.

“Jefferson could you give us a minute?”

“Sir, we really need -,”

“Just a minute, J.”

“Yes, sir.”

When he was sure they were alone, Killian knew he didn’t have the time to tell Emma the truth, but he had decided he was going to do so as soon as possible. He just needed a prolonged bit of peace and quiet for the two of them, with no interruptions and no unexpected hiccups. As it was, however, he couldn’t risk them being interrupted again, and without so much as a word he closed the space between them, bringing her into his arms, where his intentions could not be misunderstood. Almost instantly Emma melted against him, her hands rest on his chest as she gazed up at him curiously. Her eyes flicked to his mouth and that was all he needed to seal their lips and kiss this wonderful, miraculous woman.

The kiss was world-altering, a cosmic shift in the fabric of his very being, and it packed so much promise that he hardly knew where he ended and Emma began. In this embrace he felt like he was finally coming home after years of searching for his answers, and when they broke apart, both trying to catch their breath, he saw in Emma’s eyes his future. Everything he wanted, everything he never dared to dream of, it could only happen with this woman. She was the key to everything, and he wanted her to see that and to feel that every day of her life.

“This isn’t how I imagined things going today, Emma,” he admitted, his voice gruff from the emotion of their kiss and his frustration at having to leave. “And God knows I’ve thought of this kind of moment more times than I can say, but I find I can’t wait any longer for the perfect situation. So I guess I’ll just ask – Emma Swan, would you go out with me sometime? On a proper date, just the two of us?”

“Yes,” she immediately responded. And the smile she graced him with gave him so much hope that had just seconds ago been scarce.

“Tomorrow?” He asked and her smile faltered. Absentmindedly he brushed his thumb across her cheek, and he watched as she leaned into the motion.

“I can’t tomorrow. Henry and I are spending the day at the beach. Then we’re going to the Institute for the party. Someone mentioned you might be coming too.”

“For the holiday, right,” Killian said, having forgotten about his own agreement to be there. His plans had initially been to lay low, and actively avoid the day. He’d been promised a pass from any royal duties from his brother, and he thought he’d just head out on a long hike, enjoying himself out in the natural world. But when the children asked him to come to their party a few days ago, he couldn’t’ say no. Honestly he was somewhat ashamed he’d failed to remember their request. But when it came to Emma, everything else had a tendency of fading from view. “I will be there. I just…”

“Forgot?” Emma teased and Killian nodded. “Trust me I’m tempted to forget too, but it means so much to Henry. He’s really wanted to meet everyone, and he’s been planning our outing all week-,”

“I understand, love,” he said, meaning it whole heartedly. Killian knew how much Emma’s son meant to her. He’d never ever fault her for seeing he was tended to. It was just another part of Emma to love and admire.

“But I could do the next night?” she offered, giving away how invested she was in making a date, and Killian smiled. Damn it felt good to have her in this with him. He’d honestly never felt so happy at anything in his life.

“Brilliant.”

They exchanged numbers and he got Emma’s address, promising that he’d pick her up at 7 in two days’ time. She was certain Elsa could watch Henry, and Killian was determined to make the date one so alluring, Emma would have to see beyond his blasted title. And in the meantime he’d see her still tomorrow, meaning that he didn’t have to wait to taste that bit of sunshine she always aimed his way. Still, despite the time crunch he was under, Killian couldn’t bring himself to say goodbye. It felt too final and too painful for him, so instead he pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again, taking comfort in how right this was between them, and how perfectly they seemed to fit together.

“I swear I’ll make this right,” he murmured when they broke apart. He knew there was no more time left. He had to go, but he hated to leave.

“This already is right,” she said, not realizing the full extent of his meaning, but giving him so much hope all the same. He stole one last fleeting kiss before stepping back. He turned and saw Jefferson was back, their moment was broken, but as Killian waved at Emma one last time and headed out to see his brother, he knew that this was not over. No matter what came, he’d make sure he and Emma were together. He would not mess this up. He would be the man she wanted and the man she deserved. He just needed a chance to do so, and he had every intention of taking said chance very _very_ soon.

**_Post-Note: Okay so I know that this chapter features a lot of stuff – we’ve got some intrigue, a first kiss, and a lot of teasing moments. I just wanted this fic to have some of that, even though we’re getting close to the halfway point. As you might have guessed, the big reveal is coming sometime in the next few chapters, and there’s a few twists and turns coming in our story, but you can always trust that the heart of this story is true and it will land in a fluffy, love-filled place. Anyway, thanks so much to all of you for reading, and I’ll hopefully see you all next time!!_ **


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Hey everyone – so I will start this chapter by saying we have quite a bit of intrigue happening here. Some of you may not be thrilled with where I am leaving things, fair warning it is not the fluffiest of places, and some may even call it a dreaded cliff hanger, BUT I promise that the next chapter for this story is already prepped and will be ready for posting next weekend. You will all be way happier with me in the next few chapters, but in the meantime, I hope you still enjoy the fic and I can’t wait to hear what you all think!_ **

_How the fuck did it come to this?_

The question had been plaguing him since the moment he left Emma’s side yesterday afternoon and landed in the middle of a political minefield, and he was no closer to an answer about how to get out of this giant mess.

Of course, he knew the facts: yesterday his brother had called him to parliament, a place where Killian very rarely played a role. He hadn’t been there in years, and even then, it was only a formality, but this time he was summoned through some antiquated process no one had ever heard of. What ensued thereafter was nothing short of a disaster. His mandated presence was initially thought to be merely a stall tactic, but then everything flipped and suddenly his brother lost control of what was supposed to be a historic day for the passing of landmark legislation.

Since taking the throne, Liam had been working diligently to change the very system of governing in Montenarro. He wanted more representation for the people, and to have more democratic processes in spite of the presence of the monarchy. He’d worked tirelessly for years to endear his cause to a largely unresponsive parliament, and finally he believed he had enough votes to make a bold and substantial change. He’d even made sure to cover his tracks, getting every signed-on lord to publicly state their support of the bill, but it turned out there were traitors in their midst, and when Killian arrived it became a full-blown spectacle filled with anger and hostility and nonsense.

For nearly an hour Killian bore witness to the political betrayal and the humiliation that followed. A group of usurpers, led by a Viscount with a long held vendetta, proceeded to fill the hallowed halls of parliament with lies and slander and speculation. Most of it actually centered around Killian, and all of it was completely preposterous. These lords were ‘suspicious’ of his absence from public life since being discharged from the navy, of his hesitancy to return to his role as Prince, and of his lack of ‘direction.’ The men went on and on about what kind of message it sent to the people when leaders failed to lead and represent the interests of the citizenry. It was absolutely ridiculous and infuriating. He’d been out of the military for one month – one month! – and apparently failing to return to center stage in that time made him untrustworthy and ‘wayward.’ There was absolutely no consideration for what he’d gone through in serving at all. In the end it didn’t matter – he was always a prince before he was a man, and expectations didn’t waiver, no matter what he’d given to this country or its people.

Liam, to his credit, was absolutely furious, and he’d made sure to lambast the men who criticized Killian, pointing out their dishonor and their disrespect for men and women in uniform. He reminded them all of how out of touch one must be to assume that a man or woman who’d been on active deployment and been party to war would want to just jump back into the fray with no caution or hesitations. Every soldier was different, and every single one of them deserved respect when they’d fought valiantly and enduringly for the country’s safety and interests. It helped Killian to hear his brother’s candid disdain for these men and their actions, and though they had never really discussed the ghosts of Killian’s service, it reminded Killian that Liam understood and that he valued the sacrifice he made all these years. But still it all came to nothing. The lords did not bow to any call for decency, the bill never was presented, the motion was halted, and despite how ridiculous it all was, a nefarious dialogue had been started. Now some people were curious about where Killian was and what he was doing, putting Liam in an incredibly uncomfortable place. In fact, it was so bad a situation that he’d done something he had never done before – he’d gone back on a promise he made to Killian.

That reneging of his word was the ultimate show of dishonor in Liam’s eyes, but it didn’t help Killian that his brother was sick over this choice. Killian was still being sacrificed in a way for the sake of saving face, and the way it would be done meant that Killian was, for lack of a better phrasing, royally screwed. He was totally and completely fucked, because right now, within the next, oh ten minutes or so, he’d be leaving with his family in the royal precession headed for the capital. It was one of the nation’s most cherished holidays, a celebration of independence and military success, but Killian had missed it for years and intended to miss it this year as well. He hadn’t felt ready for such a moment, loud, rambunctious, and public as it was. He’d been nowhere near crowds like this in many years, and the sound of fireworks and sparklers might trigger something in him, along with the high intensity of the crowd itself. But when Liam requested this, Killian kept those fears quiet. He was ashamed to admit that weakness, and now he was making a huge public appearance, one of the largest of the year. Still in spite of all the anxiety that would come just from the processions, it wasn’t even the worst part. No, the worst part was that – through the agonizing stupidity of his own choices – he still had not told Emma the truth.

This lack of disclosure did not come from lack of trying. He’d been forced to remain in chambers in Parliament without his phone until almost midnight, and by then it was too late to call her or go and see her face to face. Emma was asleep for the night and he couldn’t bring himself to tell her in a voicemail. He’d then decided to go to her this morning, but there was physically no way for him to do so. Every route, and he did mean every route, from the palace to her house was blocked off for the processions or being monitored by the media. It was truly nightmarish. As such, he’d done the only thing he could think to do. He wrote out his feelings to her, his worries and his confession. It was long, it was ugly, but it was real. In the letter he apologized profusely for never telling her the truth. He acknowledged that any pain she would feel was his fault and his alone, and he practically begged her to give him another chance. As soon as it was written he entrusted it to one of Jefferson’s team and he waited twenty minutes for confirmation that it was delivered to her home.

The seconds ticked by while he waited for her reply, slowly and terribly, and finally he caved and sent her a text. It said he was thinking of her, and reiterated his intention to talk to her more tonight. Now here he was, hours later, and he’d still heard nothing. He was in excruciating pain, and the only thing worse than not knowing where Emma stood was that he was forced into the customs and practices of this holiday. He was made to go along with a song and dance he hated, and now he was wearing his royal regalia, feeling a fool and a sham and a downright wretch.

“That collar is not going to get any more comfortable for fidgeting with it,” his grandmother’s voice said, drawing his attention back to where he was, outside waiting for the procession to begin from the castle grounds.

His mother and grandmother were set to ride in the coach as he and Liam rode behind them on horseback, but his grandmother wasn’t interested in complying with the order to sit patiently and wait until the very last minute. Instead she ushered him towards her, and began straightening his royal suit. She tidied all his medals and the pins of his military service, and made sure each line of his jacket was crisp and clean. It was clearly something she’d been doing for many years, and the action came naturally to her, so much more so than for Killian.

“For someone who detests the charade of royal life, you really do look so handsome.”

“Thank you, Gran,” he said, but he didn’t mean it. The words were kindly given, but impossible to value when there was so much else he was desperate to engage with.

“But there’s something more, isn’t there? You’re worried about this. Why? Because it’s been a while?” He shook his head. “Is there somewhere you’d rather be?”

He bit back the retort that there were about a million places he would rather be, but she knew his feelings. “There’s a woman isn’t there?” Bloody hell, how had she figured that out?

“Aye,” Killian admitted after a moment’s hesitation. It was no use hiding from his Gran. The old woman was like a blood hound, drawn into the smallest scent and hell bent on tracking until the truth was out.

“And you’re missing her now, are you?” his grandmother said with a nod. “Good. Real loves never bloom for the faint of heart. A good dose of yearning, and a little bit of missing your fair maiden won’t kill anyone. It’s just one day, dear.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, Gran.”

“Things usually are. I’m assuming she’s not from any of the royal circles. If she were there’d be far more chatter afoot. Not a one of those ladies of court can keep a secret. It’s positively ludicrous.”

“She has nothing to do with this world,” Killian agreed, woeful at the fact that she might reject it, but so glad Emma was not like those other women. She was so much more wonderful for being real and genuine. He would never change a thing about her. It was everyone else who should change as far as he was concerned.

“She’s uneasy with you being a prince, isn’t she?”

“She will be.”

“Will be?” his grandmother asked, her brows furrowing together in a look of actual concern. “I’m sorry, my dear. I don’t understand.”

“She didn’t know, Gran. She’s not from here. She’s a woman I met at the Institute. Her name is Emma.”

“Emma,” his grandmother said, nodding, like this announcement of his affection for a stranger who worked at their family’s charity was the most natural thing he’d ever said to her, despite the fact that he’d never mentioned to any of his family how much Emma meant to him. “But what do you mean she didn’t know? You mean about the holiday service?”

“About any of it. She didn’t realize I’m a prince. I’ve only just told her this morning in a letter.”

“That’s not possible,” his grandmother said and then her hand came up to cover her mouth in what could only be described as horror. “Oh my word. You’re serious. This morning? A letter?! Killian, what were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair in distress. His grandmother’s agitation only added to his own. “I’ve gone about things all wrong, Gran. I know that.”

“Explain it to me, Killian. Make me understand. How did it come to this?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t. At first I thought she knew who I was, and then she didn’t and it was selfish of me not to tell her-,”

“You can say that again,” his grandmother quipped, seemingly annoyed on Emma’s behalf though she didn’t even know her. “Foolishness. Pure foolishness.”

“I know I’ve messed up. I’ve known it all along, but if you knew her, you’d understand. I didn’t want to risk it. Emma defies explanation. Special isn’t the term, for she’s so much more than that. I know it was wrong not to tell her front the start, but I just wanted…” He trailed off, knowing it was useless trying to explain.

“You wanted to be yourself, without the title and the attention,” his grandmother said with a sadness in her voice. She knew his heart in this, and she felt for him, but tragically it changed nothing. “Oh my boy, my dear, sweet Killy, this is quite a mess to be in.”

They were both quiet for a moment, thinking to themselves, and Killian felt sick to his stomach at all that he’d done. This was truly all his fault and the guilt was beginning to unravel him. His grandmother though, was not yet done figuring this out. “So what did she say about it all? How did she take the letter?”

“She hasn’t responded,” Killian said hopelessly, bringing his phone up to check again. Yet again, nothing. Silence from his Swan.

“She probably needs time,” his grandmother said sympathetically. “And you’ll give her just as much time as this procession lasts before seeing her.”

“But the events after -,”

“Are not your concern,” his grandmother said vehemently. “You are hereby excused from those.”

“Gran, it’s not that simple. Viscount Mabrey -,”

“Viscount Mabrey can hang,” his grandmother said with a viciousness he’d never witnessed. It wasn’t refined but it was real, and he agreed with the assessment entirely. As the man who was leading this circus of speculation about his life, Mabrey was Killian’s worst enemy at the moment. “And I don’t care what Liam says. You shouldn’t even be here. Making you choose between Emma and the family… It’s just cruel, never mind undignified and unfeeling.”

“He doesn’t know about her,” Killian said and Gran laughed. She actually laughed and shot him a look like he was foolish.

“Are we speaking of the same Liam, your elder brother? The King of this country and sovereign of this crown, not knowing every last detail at play in his kingdom? Unlikely. No, he knows about her. Jefferson will have told him,” Gran said, prompting discomfort in Killian’s gut. Then she appeared to look a bit more forgiving as she weighed the possibilities. “Though perhaps no one has realized her ignorance on your origins. I certainly didn’t know.”

Killian’s brow furrowed at her comment, but his confusion was distracted by another question from her. “Did you ask her to come here at all? To see you? What are we to expect?”

“She was never planning to watch the procession, and I can’t imagine she’d want to now,” Killian confirmed, reiterating what Emma had told him previously. “She and her son were planning to go to the beach for the day, and no matter what state she may be in,” his throat closed up at admitting that she’d be hurting because of him. “Emma would never break a promise to her boy. They’ll likely miss the whole thing.”

“Mmm,” his grandmother replied. The hum was so noncommittal it only added to Killian’s agitation. But then she turned to him and looked serious. “Well you answer me this, Killian, and be warned if you lie not even the Gods of old can help you, do you truly care for the girl?”

“Yes.” In fact, caring for Emma was an understatement. His feelings, new as they were, went so much deeper than that.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes,” he admitted, knowing that this bond he felt to her was not a fleeting sort of fancy. He did love Emma, for all her many pieces. The way she loved helping people, the nurturing way she always had, the light in her eyes, the lilt of her laugh. She was perfect and good and true, and he never had any hope of deserving her, but damn did he want to. So badly it left an ache in his chest.

“And is there anything you won’t do to make this up to her?”

“No, ma’am,” he replied firmly, knowing that promise was absolute.

That was part of what was killing him now. He wanted to go this instant and beg forgiveness like a man. To look her in her eyes and explain to her how this had all come to be. Yet he couldn’t even give that to her. He was bound by a duty to his family, and he had never resented that duty more in his life. Even now he considered the merits of being here. He could go, show her how much she meant to him, and how she’d always come first from now on. But doing that would only humiliate his family. It would add flames to the fire and mean giving up the loyalty he’d always had for the people he was closest to.

“Good.” She answered, nodding her head and clapping her hands together in a matter-of-fact manner. “Well, dear, sometimes people make bad choices, and when they do, they must make amends. That’s all that can be done. You must do everything you can to make this right. It’s as simple as that,”

“That’s it? No sage counsel or particular detail on how to go about it?” Killian asked. He was desperate for guidance here. Should he call her? Should he wait? Should he go to her? What was he meant to do? What could be done at this point?

“My dear, the mistakes of men are frequent and seemingly unending. A queen does herself no favors getting mired down in them,” she said with a sigh, not helping him with the reminder that he was among those mistaken men. But she shook her head and then affectionately patted his arm in a sign of support. “Just remember this: Your heart always knows which way to go. You’ll make this right, and when you do, I’d like to officially meet this young woman. All right?”

“Okay, Gran.”

With a quick pat to his cheek, his grandmother turned and entered the carriage with his mother who was watching curiously. The two of them shared a few words, but Killian didn’t pay much mind, for at the same moment Liam descended from the palace and things began moving rather quickly. It was time for them all to depart, and Killian could only gear himself up for what would be a painful few hours and hope that everything would somehow be okay.

_……………………._

Waking up this morning, Emma had to admit to herself that she was really and honestly happy. The feeling was somewhat new for her, certainly in such a bold and front and center way, but after yesterday with Killian it was impossible to feel otherwise. The hope that he’d inspired in her and the heat that she still felt all these hours later, all prompted a smile she let loose as soon as she woke, and that had stayed with her all morning. To know that this man who had her tied up in knots felt the same way made her feel like a kid with their first crush. But despite the strange fluttering in her chest that came and went, and the constant distraction that her mind seemed plagued with these days, she didn’t actually hate it. If anything, Emma craved this feeling, loving that for the first time in so many years she felt eager to take a chance on something and someone other than herself and her son.

She’d been ready to take that step a while ago, feeling the draw to Killian for some time now, but after yesterday and that kiss, she was totally lost. She may be guarded, but Emma Swan was no fool. She could admit defeat when beaten, and right now her interest and her hope that this might be something real and true had won out. Hours later she could still taste him on her tongue. She felt the silky strands of his hair on her fingertips and the hard lines of his body pressed against her. The heat and the spark between them was all consuming, and the look in his eyes when they broke apart and he promised he’d see her soon -

“Mom, do you think I should bring my snorkeling mask or my regular goggles?”

Emma jumped at Henry’s question, which forced her out of her daydream so quickly she had whiplash. She shook her head, reminding herself that this was not the time or place. She was on Mom duty right now and she was supposed to be packing their lunch and snacks for the beach. But last night, when she was alone and all her responsibilities were met for the day, she’d allowed herself to imagine what could have happened if things were different. Would the moment have lasted longer? Would it have ended at the preserve?

“Mom?” Henry asked, his brow furrowed in confusion at her continued distractedness.

“Sorry, kid. Let’s go with snorkeling. It’s been hard for you to find the space to do that to this point, but I think today you’ll have the room to try.”

Henry agreed with her thinking and raced back to his room to grab his things while Emma chastised herself for her wayward thoughts. Now was totally not the time to be caught up in thoughts of Killian, hard as it might be to resist. She and her kid were spending the day together and she needed to focus on that. Henry and her had planned this outing all week, and she wanted to be present with him, even if a niggling though in the back of her mind wondered what it would be like if Killian was coming too. She already knew that Henry and he would get along. Killian had a way of making every kid he met love him, and her son was smart. He read people even better than she did, and Henry loved a good story, which Killian had plenty of.

“Someday maybe,” Emma whispered aloud as she packed the sandwiches in their temperature-controlled bag, but she knew there was no maybe. If things headed where she hoped they would, Killian and Henry meeting would come to pass, and probably soon. But for now, she’d soak in these precious moments with her kid and enjoy a little R and R down at the seaside.

Placing all of their picnic supplies in one bag and double checking that her tote had sunscreen, books, and other things they’d need down by the water, Emma stayed focused on her task. She took comfort in the mental checklist she had going, and when she was confident that they had everything, Henry appeared, carrying his snorkeling gear and smiling a megawatt smile that made her heart so happy.

“You have everything you’ll want for the day?” Emma asked and when Henry nodded she gave him another chance to double check. “Remember we won’t be home until late.”

“I know, Mom. We’re still going to the Center for a visit right? Cook said she’s making that fancy chocolate cake again!” Henry said, nearly as excited by the prospect of this dessert as he was for their beach day.

“Yup. I already told Marco to expect us. Dinner will be served at six thirty.”

Henry threw his fist into the air in some kind of celebratory move and Emma laughed at his antics, shaking her head and looking to all the stuff they had to get out the door and to the coastline. “And you’re totally sure you don’t need to see the parade? It may be fun,” Emma suggested, but she secretly hoped Henry would want to stick to their original plan.

“No way! Beach beats parade every day of the week. Especially this beach. It’s the best!”

Emma appreciated her son’s dedication to sunshine and the seaside. Truth be told, she and Henry had been burned by enough New York parades to be a little jaded. They always sounded like a whole lot of fun in theory, but there was a huge crowd of people which Emma never loved, and at every event there were people who just wanted to get wasted. It was pretty stressful as a parent, and Henry never really liked the noise. He was a quieter kid and preferred more peaceful moments, which were rare when living in the city. As such they tended to avoid big events like this and made a habit of being wherever the masses weren’t. Today they’d decided the beach might be a good option. They’d managed to go a few times since arriving, and it was always fun but busy. Today they may have more space to themselves, and both she and Henry loved the idea of a beach to themselves.

It was still wild to Emma that they lived in a city with such easy access to a coastline, and not some questionable harbor view, but glorious, magazine worthy beaches. Everyone who lived here acknowledged that they were a hidden gem, and Emma knew if the world ever got wind of what they were missing in this tiny country then flocks of people would descend. She hated to imagine that though, since most of the charm of this country came from its authenticity. There were no touristy gimmicks or ploys. People here were just people, welcoming and friendly, not driven by a dollar. It was totally refreshing and deserved to be preserved and protected. It also made Emma think all the time that maybe she was doing Henry a disservice living in New York. Montenarro wasn’t really a viable option forever, at least she couldn’t bring herself to hope they’d be that lucky, but there must be other places in the US where she could find a job that had more of these things they loved. They’d miss Mrs. and Mr. H, but they were retired now and always talked about their want to travel. Who knew, maybe something could work out?

“Okay Mom, I’m ready to go. We better get a move on.”

Emma took in Henry all decked out in his beach gear and ready to trek across the city and she bit back another hearty laugh. Her boy was an adventurer through and through. He loved anything that felt like a quest and right now he was harnessing all the energy of kids in the throes of some magical imaginary universe. She loved his propensity for this kind of excitement, so she attempted to match it, gathering her things and saluting him as their leader as the left the apartment and locked the door behind them.

As they headed out, Emma couldn’t help thinking that she hoped the kids at the institute were having a good start to their day. This year none of the children would be attending the parade. Apparently there were some issues in years past with some older kids running off to meet friends and younger kids getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the festivities. It turned out to be a logistical nightmare for the staff, and so they decided they’d have their own celebration at the same coves along the cost that the older kids had driven to weeks back. Almost everyone, save the very little babies, would be going, and Emma and Henry had been invited as well. She’d come so close to saying yes, especially when she thought about seeing Cecelia and the others enjoying their day at the beach, but she knew there was a lot of time left to share such memories with them all and that tonight they’d join everyone for dinner and some fun and games. For now, she wanted to make sure her son felt special and supported. He was such a good sport about being in camp all the time while she worked and went to school. She didn’t think that he resented it even a little, but she felt like her first duty was to be a good mom and to give Henry the attention and affection he so rightly deserved.

“Excuse me, Miss?” a woman with bright red hair asked just by their front door. Emma recognized her peripherally. She’d definitely seen her in the neighborhood before. “Are you Emma Swan?”

“I am,” Emma said, and the woman let out a relieved breath. “Can I help you with something?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. My name is Merida. I live just there,” she pointed to the other house out here on the side street. “We received this this morning – or well my daughter did. I love the girl but if you catch her half asleep, she’ll say anything to shut you up and head on back to bed. Anyway, a royal courier came to deliver this earlier, asking for an Emma Swan, and she swore that’s who she was, took it, and then promptly fell asleep. I’m so sorry for the delay, I only just saw the thing in her room. But I promise it was never opened. As you can see the seal is still very much intact.”

“It’s no problem,” Emma said accepting the letter which was addressed in beautiful script. It had her name on it and a seal on the back with the same lettering as the foundation. She smiled, thinking it must be from the kids. They were so excited for their celebration today that she could totally see them making fancy invites and using an institute seal for adornment. She also didn’t think anything of a ‘royal courier.’ That was a thing in Britain too, right? It was the queen’s post or something. Countries with monarchies were just cute like that.

“Oh good, hopefully it’s nothing too timely,” Merida said with relief. “But either way you best believe my Iona received a stern talking to this morning.” Just then a bang came from Merida’s house and they all looked over there. Emma and Henry were concerned, but Merida only sighed and shook her head. “Those blasted boys of mine will be at it again. Dead set on turning every last hair on my head gray. Anyway, apologies again, and perhaps we can have you two over some time. I’ll do my best to wrangle this motley bunch before you do, aye?”

Merida made the offer even while jogging back into her house and Emma and Henry barely had time to say sure before she was back inside. They turned to each other and just shrugged, laughing. Then Henry pointed to the letter. “What do you think it is?”

“Probably something from the institute. But nothing that can’t wait for the beach,” Emma replied, and Henry smiled, following her down the lane in the direction of their plans.

Slowly but surely they made their way down the roads, but the more they walked, the more the patterns of foot traffic began to change. When they started, there were very few people along the street, but the further they went the fuller the streets became. Soon they were overrun with people, and admittedly all of them seemed to be having a great time without any kind of discernable drunkenness or issues.

“Wow, today must be a bigger deal than we realized,” Henry said, his eyes taking in the same sight as her, which was their increasingly familiar neighborhood flooded with happy parade goers.

“No kidding. Are we sure this isn’t the berry fest you read about?”

“They’re called montecaris, Mom. And no, that’s in August. It lasts a whole week. Today’s about a battle that happened a long time ago or something.”

“Must have been some battle,” Emma said. Looking back at Henry, she was struck with worry that he might feel like they were missing something big, especially when confronted with the throngs of people out here celebrating. “We could probably put the beach off a bit if you wanted to watch…”

“No way! I’ve got a full day planned and we’re already late. We gotta get going.”

Emma agreed and stuck her hand out for her son, more as precaution than anything else. With the crowds growing so dense she didn’t want to get separated from him. Henry understood and stuck close to her, but Emma noticed that the people congregated out here today for the celebrations were so much kinder and less intrusive than people back home. This might be a big party for people, but it wasn’t at the expense of families and non-celebrators. No one was taking things too far, and it made maneuvering through the streets much easier than expected, which Emma appreciated. They actually made great time, all things considered, but towards the end of their journey they hit a roadblock, quite literally.

“The road’s closed, but how will we get to the beach?” Henry said with a sad effect that reminded Emma of when he was younger. He never whined, her son, but he did get a teensy bit dramatic. It had much more impact in her opinion, and the pang of sympathy she felt at his disappointment had her rethinking this strategy.

“Excuse me, miss?” Emma asked a woman who looked to be walking with her own young children. “Do you have any idea how we could get to the beach?”

“The footbridge is still open,” the woman offered. She pointed them in the right direction and Emma remembered seeing it a few times while coming in and out of the city. It wasn’t far from here, and she and Henry were grateful for the insight. They made their way in that direction, and by chance they had to walk the parade route to get there. As such they were seeing so much of the parade while still heading to the beach.

“Kind of feels like the best of both worlds, huh Mom?” Henry asked and Emma nodded. It was really something to be sure, and as they walked they saw all sorts of processions. People in traditional dress dancing, musicians, acrobats. There were soldiers dressed up in old regalia and veterans from wars long past, but it didn’t seem like anything out of the common way. Only when the footbridge was in sight did the air seem to change around them and the whispers all began.

“They’ll be out soon, Mama,” a little boy said jumping up and down. “King Liam and his horse!”

“Yes, darling. They’ll be here any moment. Look, here they come.”

Henry was the one to stop moving at this point, drawn into the promise of seeing actual royalty in the flesh. Emma stopped with him and looked out into the street, feeling a flutter of intrigue as she did. Watching the procession at this stage felt like stepping into a movie. There were guards in their stately dress and horses with people she assumed must be some kind of current soldiers. All of the steeds they rode in on were darker, but behind them were white stallions drawing a carriage. Wow, she thought those were a figment of imagination. People really rode in those? Emma supposed they must, and then she got a good look at the women in the cart and she was convinced they must be royalty.

The way these two women were dressed was pristine and beautiful, and both women wore tiaras in their hair that reflected the light so beautifully in the summer sun. From what she could tell, both of them were older, though one was raven haired and the other had shifted to a silky silver. Emma wracked her brain trying to remember what she’d heard in passing about the royals. She knew there was a reigning Queen before who was much older, and apparently good friends with the Queen in England. She’d stepped down from her post years back, however, and now there was a King. She’d seen him, King Liam, on magazine covers in the grocery store. He was young, but serious, and Emma imagined he must be somewhere here too.

Sure enough, when the carriage passed there were two black horses, both giant, like Clydesdales. Both had royal riders as well, and Emma knew the first one was King Liam. He looked just as serious now as he had in the photos, and Emma wondered if it was hard to be King. It must be all-consuming, but still, a smile wouldn’t kill anyone, would it?

“Wait, Mom, that’s the King!” Henry said, his attempt at a whisper coming out comically loud. “He’s so big. I bet he’s super strong.”

Emma couldn’t argue with the assessment, and the stateliness of the man looked even more imposing in his formal regalia astride a horse. But there was something about him that was familiar. The darkness of his hair under his crown and the square of his jaw evoked something in her, and so, she realized, did the particular shade of blue of his eyes. She had trouble placing it before, but now she knew they looked like Killian’s. How strange that she should think that. She was only reminiscing the other day that she’d never seen eyes like his anywhere before.

Intriguing as the connection was, Emma didn’t think much of it. Instead her eyes moved to the other horse, and immediately her heart lurched. Was that? Oh my God, that was Killian! Her Killian, and he was…

“Prince Killian’s here this year!” a young girl said on the street beside them with awe. “Wow he really is handsome, just as handsome as King Liam, don’t you think, Mama?”

“Undoubtedly, dear,” the mother said but Emma barely heard them. She was stuck with the glaring and absolutely crazy realization that the man she’d been circling around for weeks, the man who’d kissed her senseless only yesterday, was a Prince. Like an actual, full-blown, royal. She was stunned and shocked, so thrown by this twist she hardly knew which way was up. All she could do was take this in and try to make sense of it all.

From where she stood in the crowd, Emma could see that Killian was dressed in the same uniform as his brother. Medals of valor covering his coat to a much higher degree than the King, so much so they almost didn’t fit. Despite being astride a horse, everything about him looked impeccable. The lines of his clothes were crisp and unforgiving, and his form on the stallion spoke to extensive experience. Still, she couldn’t say he looked comfortable up there. His expression was not nearly so serious as Liam’s, but Emma could see his uneasiness, even if it was subtle. Many others may not realize, but Emma saw pain in his eyes. Even now, when thrust into confusion and disarray, Emma felt like she could read him. He was uncomfortable up there, being ogled at by so many people and hearing all the noise and celebration. Still he was gorgeous, looking gallant and regal and all too good to look away from.

Seeing him this way filled her with a chaotic sense of conflictedness – on the one hand she still saw the same man she felt herself falling for, but on the other hand he’d shielded the truth from her. He was a prince, a freaking prince! And she was… well just Emma. It made her sick to her stomach to think about how much must separate them. She’d already felt the pressure of that just thinking he was rich and foreign, but throw royalty into the mix and she felt unbelievably foolish. This could never work. She was delusional if she thought that the two of them could amount to anything more than a mere flirtation given everything, and a wave of dread and despair crashed over her. She felt feint from the mix of sadness and betrayal and her heart was pounding in her chest. Panic began flowing. She had to get out of here.

As if her distress called to him in some way, Killian’s attention diverted from the procession and he looked into the crowd. In a matter of seconds his gaze found her, and she saw the look on his face, feeling the impact too acutely. He was surprised by her being there, and then looked pained himself. She was too stunned to move, but he didn’t feel the same. He stopped his horse, and looked about to climb down when a voice called out to him.

“Killian!” It came from the King, Emma and Killian both looked to him and Liam looked to Emma before turning back to Killian and shaking his head. “Not now.”

Emma didn’t know how to take that. Was he saying not now as in ‘not now, we’re in the middle of a parade here’ or as in ‘not now with your inappropriate and unacceptable life choices’? The former made sense to Emma, but the latter was what she was afraid of. Here she was, a totally normal person, a single Mom from another place with no freaking clue he was even a prince. What was Killian even thinking when it came to her? She was dying to know but also too afraid to face it. Killian, meanwhile, looked liable to go against his brother but he ultimately looked to her and she read the greatest wish of his heart as clear as day.

_I know I fucked up, Emma. I know this is crazy, but please let me explain._ She even watched his lips move and she read his words “please, Emma.” Her heart clutched in her chest. She closed her eyes unsure of what to do and then Henry pulled at her hand. Emma broke her attention away from this earth-shaking revelation and looked to her boy.

“You okay, Mom? You look a little funny.”

“Uh, yeah, Henry, I’m fine. Just a lot of people,” she offered emptily. She hated to lie to her son, but what could she say? Something like, _don’t worry kid, I just think I have a date set with the Prince and even though it’s completely insane and he hid this from me, I can’t bring myself to hate him?_ Or maybe, _to be honest I was actually falling for this man, like really falling, and I don’t know if I can stop even though I have to because we live in different worlds and I feel like my heart is breaking in my chest?_ No that wouldn’t work either, so a lie it was.

“You want to go home?” He asked and Emma shook her head, knowing that home was just about the last place she wanted to be. She needed distraction from whatever the hell this was, and if she added disappointing Henry to the list of things she’d done today, she’d never get past this.

“No way.”

“Okay! Last one to the footbridge is a rotten egg!” Henry said, taking off, and Emma spared one last look at Killian before she left.

In his eyes she saw everything, grief, sorrow, an attempt at about a million apologies. This was wrong. He had really messed up and she was hurt by his choices, but despite it all a small voice in her heart told her not to run. She should give him a chance to explain, as hard as that might be. She deserved those answers, even if he didn’t. With her mind made up, she wanted to convey to him that this wasn’t totally over but only then did she realize that the parade had stopped. Everyone was distracted by something in the main carriage, but it wasn’t emergent. In fact, the people were laughing, but Emma had clearly missed the joke. She looked back to Killian, whose eyes were trained only on her, and without any more delay she nodded, a silent show that she would listen even if she was hurt and confused. She only saw the beginning of his relief take form, before heading back to her kid, and though it was incredibly hard not to look back, she pushed forward, knowing that right now she couldn’t engage with whatever was happening. It was just too much to contemplate and too overwhelming to consider without knowing the whole truth.

……………………………..

Oh, Dear Lord in Heaven, what a day it had been.

Public outings were always tiring to Queen Eleanor, despite her lifetime of participating in them. But today was especially energetic, and that was putting it kindly.

She still could not fathom how in the world her grandson had been so thoughtless. How could Killian think that keeping the truth for this long would be okay? Surely, he realized that the longer he waited to tell Emma who he was the worse it would be. And then today, seeing the moment where Killian and Emma noticed each other out there in the precession, was like witnessing a car wreck before her very eyes.

The fright she’d had was instant, and she gripped onto Meera’s arm so quickly her daughter-in-law had thought her ill. Then Meera looked to the crowd and saw Emma too and she herself was tense and worried. It was all so terrible. The shock on the poor girl’s face, the hurt in her eyes, but there was more too. There was strength there, and feelings under that hurt that did give Eleanor a bit of hope. Everything wasn’t lost, but it was getting damn close. Killian tried to go to her, as he damn well should, but then Liam scolded him, keeping him there. It took everything in Eleanor not to snap at her eldest grandson for interfering.

“It’s not safe, your majesty,” Jefferson whispered to her from his position close by, reading her frustration. “She’d be a target if the public takes notice.”

“Oh – oh - oh barnacles!” she said with frustration, before inspiration struck. “Stop the carriage!” she cried to the attendant and immediately he did.

“What are you doing?” Meera whispered, alarmed at the break in protocol, but hoping for a good explanation.

“Buying them some time. Keep watch of them. Be discrete but don’t miss anything. We need every detail we can get,” she whispered, before turning to the street and waving her hand to a nearby man. “Excuse me, sir, I just wanted to say your cap is absolutely delightful.”

The man was stunned at her comments, and he should be. This was absolutely untoward. Royalty never did anything like this, but damn the customs. This was her grandson’s life, his future, and she’d do anything she could to see it aided and improved. When the man on the side of the road collected himself, he smiled and blushed, an uncommon sight for a man of at least 65 years of age.

“Please, your majesty. Take it.”

“Oh I don’t think I -,”

“It would be an honor,” he said.

“Are they good?” she asked Meera quietly.

“Just a bit more time. Her son’s perked up now. A beautiful boy. Reminds me of Killian at that age.”

“Focus, Meera.”

Eleanor nodded to the security team and the man came forward. Offering her the hat. She smiled at it, taking in the tacky mess of patriotic color and appreciating it for what it was – a colorful distraction from the moment. She made up her mind to commit to this idea, and the crowd gasped as she put it on her head and then laughed happily. Some people even cheered at her attire, praising the new look that must make her look positively ridiculous.

“Okay, we’re good,” Meera said and Eleanor smiled graciously to the man who’d provided this opportunity to distract.

“Thank you very much, sir. A happy holiday to you and yours,” she waved pleasantly before telling the footman to drive on.

She’d then proceeded to commit to this charade for the rest of the outing, taking different gifts from parade watchers across the city. Even Meera engaged, accepting some colorful beads and a flag from some children who brought them forth along the way. She didn’t dare look at Liam the entire time, but she knew, even if it was unusual, that this would be a win for the king in the long term. The people had responded marvelously, and she’d managed to help both her grandsons in their quests at the same time, thank the Gods.

As soon as they arrived back at the palace, Killian was off like a shot, readying himself to go see Emma. They spoke with him briefly inside the palace before his departure, but she didn’t dwell on those important words now. Eleanor still didn’t know where he’d eventually find her or if he already had, but she hoped he would. Now though, hours later, Queen Eleanor was hiding out, trying to avoid another conversation that must eventually come.

“So are you going to tell me what that was all about today?” Liam asked, causing her to jump from where she was in the quiet of the library. Her hand came over her heart instinctively and she scowled at him.

“You take great liberty, my dear, scaring an old woman like that.”

“ _I_ take liberties?” he asked with a laugh. “Gran if this is another of your jokes, I’ll tell you now I don’t understand it and I’m not amused.”

“I know, my dear, but I just had to do it. Killian and Emma needed time.”

“You know about her?”

“Know about her, who do you think found her in the first place -,” Oh blast it! She wasn’t supposed to say that. Rats, now she had to tell him everything. This was not what she’d wanted at all.

“So you and Mum, you’ve been planning this,” Liam said some time later when the truth was revealed. “You’re matchmaking. Does Killian know?”

“No, he most certainly does not.”

“He’ll be furious when he finds out.”

“The moment she forgives him he’ll be nothing short of ecstatic.”

“And so that’s when you’ll tell him?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“ _Gran_.”

“ _Liam_ ,” she parroted, knowing she sounded like a child but not caring.

“Bloody hell, Gran, I don’t know how you manage it,” Liam said, shaking his head as a low chuckle rumbled from his chest.

“I manage this family with the wisdom, grace, and know-how of a professional, Liam. You’d do well to remember that.”

He muttered to himself some things she couldn’t hear, but then he squared his shoulders and grew serious. “Look, Gran, as long as you promise not to interfere anymore, I will keep your secret.”

“When you say interfere -,”

“Gran, leave this to Killian. He needs to do this himself. Please.”

“All right dear, I will leave it alone.”

“Good. And you and Mum better not be planning anything like this for me.”

“You really think there’s just another woman who happens to be at the institute who would also be perfect for you?”

“No,” Liam laughed, forgetting the promise he asked for in the face of what he saw as a lunatic notion. Little did he know there was such a woman, and the ball was already in motion on that front as well. Still Eleanor did everything she could to shield that from him, attempting to appear the frazzled grandmother instead of a scheming assistant to cupid. Before he could press her further, a knock sounded at the door, Jefferson appeared, and Liam was called away. “We’ll finish this discussion later.”

“Not bloody likely,” she whispered under her breath and Liam raised a brow.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, dear. Nothing at all.”

**_Post-Note: Okay so there we have it. I keep making these chapters so much longer than I think I will, but there’s just so much I want to accomplish. I know it would have been better for everyone’s anxiety levels if I had Killian and Emma talk things out in this chapter but there simply was not time. Not to worry though, next week’s installment will definitely have that and I think you’ll all forgive me for my slight cliff hanger when you read the next chapter. Anyway, I would love to hear what you all are thinking and I appreciate every comment and review and message you guys have sent the past few weeks. It’s so awesome to have you all with me in this and I genuinely hope you’ll stick around to see what’s coming next. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and have a great rest of your weekend! -Emily_ **


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: Hey everyone. I know that some of you must hate my guts after last week, and I couldn’t even begin to blame you for that, but I promise I will make things better this week. I hate to linger in the drama, and as such we get a resolution this chapter. That’s not saying the road will be easy, but hopefully it’ll pack some great feels and will end with a bit of forgiveness, not just for CS, but with us too. I’ll wait to see what you all think on that forgiveness part, but without further delay, here’s the next chapter of ‘Feels Like This.’_ **

Agony. That was the emotion clinging to his body and soul through the rest of the processions. From the moment he saw Emma, and took in the range of emotions on her beautiful face, he realized she somehow hadn’t read his letter. Despite the assurances from Jefferson’s team that Emma had spoken with a member of the royal guard herself, had taken custody of the letter, and understood it was important, there was clearly a breakdown in that story. The shock in her eyes was too potent for her to have had any kind of heads up. She was torn apart and hurting, and it was all because of him.

This was a miserable and soul wrenching mistake, a slowly traveling crash in which he had been the operator, and the worst part was that he couldn’t go to her and try to explain himself. He tried to, stopped the horse, and was ready to go to her, consequences be damned, but Liam’s order was clear and he was bound to follow. As such, Killian had been in excruciating pain for hours. He spent the rest of the day imagine how hurt she must be. If he felt like this, undoubtedly her heart ached even more. And still, throughout all of this, there was no one to blame but himself. He alone was the one who had hurt Emma this way. His choice to be selfish and to wait in telling her had opened the doors to her heartbreak, and in all his life he’d never made a decision, or rather a series of decisions, he regretted so resolutely.

He would never, as long as he lived, and forever thereafter, forget the look in Emma’s eyes when she saw him from the crowd. The alarm of her expression was a knife to the chest, and then the waves of hurt and embarrassment and grief that came after laid all his sense of self respect to waste. He had done that to her. He had made her gorgeous face stain with disbelief and discomfort. He’d caused the anxiety and the sadness that were clear as day in her eyes. He’d undoubtedly ruined a day with her son, something that she cherished and had been excited about for weeks. And most importantly he shattered her trust in him and in herself. That part especially killed him. To see the moment where she came to believe that she’d been had, that he’d somehow meant for things to go so badly, that was the worst of all. Emma was brilliant and strong and sure of herself, and he’d diminished that by withholding who he was. He’d never forgive himself for that grave sin.

This wasn’t to say that his ire was limited. He was enraged with himself, but he was also furious with Liam. Keeping him from going to her in that moment may have been the ‘smart’ thing to do, but Killian couldn’t look past the fact that it was also the ‘proper’ thing as well. On a better day, and in a less tumultuous time, he would believe in his brother’s goodness. He’d give Liam the benefit of the doubt and imagine that the call to keep him in the procession was made to protect Emma and not to keep him from making a scene, but he was hardly rational right now. Instead, Killian was desperate, and as soon as the parade was over, he dismounted from his horse and rushed into the castle, disregarding all the staff who tried to help him. He stopped only to thank his grandmother for the distraction she’d provided and remained focused on his mission.

The only thing he could think right now was that he had to get to Emma. He’d go to her like this, dressed in this royal monkey suit, if that wouldn’t be yet another afront to her. She’d been slapped with the reality of who he was hours ago, and he would never try and throw that in her face again. He made it to his rooms in record time, and didn’t bother to even close the door as he went about changing, all the while brainstorming how he would get to her and make this right.

“I know you’re angry with me,” Liam said. Killian hadn’t even realized he was followed by his brother and he was even more angered by the lack of privacy. He bit back a snarl that was very unlike him but came naturally at this moment. “But there was no other way.”

“No other way?” Killian asked, a hollow laugh escaping as he shook his head at his brother’s words. “You might be the king, brother, but you’re a bloody fool if you believe that.”

“Killian I was only trying -,”

“Don’t!” Killian yelled, interrupting him before Liam could say something he didn’t want to hear. “I swear to you, Liam, if you so much as attempt to justify this, if you even think about bringing up my duty to this family, you will regret it.”

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

“Well luckily for me I was going to do neither.”

Killian glared at his brother but then disregarded him. He had the change of clothes he needed and made quick work of removing the starched pants and suit jacket. In under a minute he was dressed in jeans and a casual shirt, more normal attire that Emma had seen him in at the center. But just the thought of it made a lump form in his throat. What if all of this was over? What if he’d ruined everything? What if she could never find a way to forgive him?

“Okay I lied. I was going to make excuses, forgive me.”

“Forgiveness from me means nothing,” Killian said, deadly serious. “When I myself am unforgivable.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“You have no idea who I am or what I am capable of. You think I was just gallivanting around the globe all these years, brother? No – there is darkness in me, sins on my soul I’ll live with every day, and now the worst among them is what I’ve done to Emma. The nightmares and memories of war I could live with. It’s not easy, but it can be done,” Killian said, expelling his breath quickly and wanting to get off this topic that he purposefully never discussed with family. “But what I did today, and what you commanded me to do… it’s a bridge too far.”

“So this isn’t all about your title, then. That’s not the only thing you’re hiding from her.”

Ice ran through Killian’s veins at Liam’s assessment, but his brother wasn’t wrong. There was a lot he hadn’t yet revealed to Emma. He always made the excuse that their stolen moments together were too fleeting, or that it wasn’t the right time to discuss such heavy things, but the truth was he was kidding himself. He’d wanted to gloss over the bad parts, which wasn’t fair to Emma or to him.

“I’m not good enough for her. The things I’ve seen and done have stained me. They made me different – they’ll always haunt me. But this,” Killian said waving around his rooms, which were so ornate that the French aristocrats of old would gasp in the face of them, “She deserves so much more than I can give her. This world is too demanding with too little wiggle room. She’ll feel trapped here. She’ll resent it. But I can’t let her go. I’ve never…” he trailed off, trying to put into words how Emma made him feel. “I’ve never felt like I was exactly where I’m meant to be; not here, not abroad. But with her there is no question. I’m the man I wish I was, the man I want to be.”

Liam was quiet a long moment, looking at Killian with a mix of emotions on his familiar face. There was concern to be sure, and sadness for Killian which he did not want. He didn’t want sympathy. He knew he wasn’t normal, in the regular sense of the world, but he didn’t want pity for that. Yet beyond that there was also a warmth in Liam’s looks, and when his brother spoke, his tone was open and honest.

“I saw you two today. I watched the exchange you had out there. The things you feel are not one sided. She loves you too. That was clear.”

God Killian wished that that were true, but even if it was, he didn’t know if love could survive this moment. It was a cruel thing, to taste real hope and have it stolen from you by your own missteps, but he had a sinking feeling that was to be his fate.

“My choices and my actions have likely destroyed those feelings,” Killian said, the lump forming in his throat so tight it made it hard to speak.

“I’m not so certain. She’s clearly going to give you the chance to explain yourself, and that alone speaks volumes.”

“And what would I even say?” Killian asked, putting words to his great fear. “There’s nothing I can say that can make this okay. I didn’t lie to her, I made sure never to do so, but a lie of omission is just as bad.”

“Is it though? I mean you’re not a criminal, Killian.”

“No, I’m a prince!” he yelled, the word hanging around them long after he’d screamed it into the room. His chest heaved as he caught his breath and slowly he calmed but he never felt better. “You don’t know Emma as I do, Liam. She’s not the kind of woman who’s going to see this development as desirable. She has no fairytale ambitions, no dreams of the spotlight. She’s a woman trying to make a way in the world for her and her son. She wants a good life for her boy, a healthy and happy home, a decent chance at love, and a partner. She wants a man who can walk by her side and chart the path she’s built for them, she doesn’t want… this,” he said sadly gesturing at the grandeur around them. “And she certainly doesn’t want the scars of my past tossed in as well.”

“Well how can you know that if you’ve never even asked her?”

“I know.”

“Oh rubbish!”

The words from the doorway had both Killian and Liam turning and low and behold there was Gran and his mother. These two women, who had always been his fiercest advocates and caretakers looked upon him with such fierceness of emotion. His mother looked distressed but her love was still tangible. She also didn’t appear to be confused, and in her blue eyes he saw understanding even in her alarm. He was surprised that she was even aware of the situation, but then he turned to Gran and remembered how much the woman could say in a short amount of time. She’d no doubt told his mother, and now, despite her age and smaller stature, his Gran was poised for a fight and looked downright pissed. She was a force riled up this way, and he readied himself for a verbal lashing.

“All you know is that you made a mistake, a series of them if you want to get particular,” Gran said shaking her head. “But here’s a scary truth for you, my boy, we _all_ make mistakes. There’s not a person in this room who has not wounded someone they love. Hurt them in a way they’ll regret to their last breath. It’s a terrible thing, but it is life. People are flawed and our time on this earth is messy. We can’t all be perfect. We can only try to be better.”

“I don’t deserve her forgiveness, Gran,” Killian said, not bothering to waste energy with diversions and denial. This was his great fear, and it slipped past his lips as if she’d forced he confess. “I’m not worth it.”

“Oh, Killian,” his mother said sadly, but his Gran held her hand out towards his mother, a silent show for her to wait. With purposeful steps, his grandmother approached him. She came in close, and he wanted to look anywhere but in the eyes of his family. She was uninterested in that avoidance though, and she put a dainty, wrinkled hand to his cheek. He looked up to her and watched as she took in a deep breath. Instinctively he did the same. Then they both let them go together. It was a remnant of his childhood, a tactic that helped calm him whenever he’d felt small and overwhelmed by their world. Gran always knew and she always helped, and even now, at this lowest point, it granted him a small comfort.

“My dear, I’ve always imagined you to be sensible and smart. Please, for the love of all that is good, do not prove me wrong,” Gran said, her voice softer but no less determined. “If you do not deserve her forgiveness, then you must earn it. You are not defined by a few bad choices you made, or by the scars that life has granted. You are more than the mistakes of your past and your present. You are a man, a complicated, loving, and ever-learning man. You have done wrong. You have caused pain. You have shielded the full truth. Now admit that, repent for that, and show her you will never make a mistake like this again. She’s a brilliant woman. A little guarded, but that’s to be expected with all that she’s known. Show her who you really are. Remind her why she took a chance in the first place.”

“I don’t even know where she is,” he admitted. He’d checked his phone and tried to call Emma as soon as the procession was far enough from public eyes, but she’d shut the bloody thing off, no surprise. God, he just hoped she was safe. He was worried about her, knowing that she must be fragile after the realizations she’d faced today.

“Go to the Center, darling,” his mother said softly, having made her own approach, and taking his hand and holding close. “There’s the party tonight that you mentioned.”

“More importantly her friends are there, that Elsa girl for one, as are the children she’s grown to love. No better place to start your search,” his Gran argued. 

Killian knew they were right and without any more thought, and with only a few swift goodbyes, he headed out to find his Swan. It meant a lot to Killian to have the support of his family, and there was a tiny flickering of hope at their words and advice, but he had to get moving before he lost his nerve. He couldn’t keep talking about this, he had to do something. Only after he was out of his quarters and in the car headed for the institute did he realize something – his family knew _way_ too much about Emma and her habits. Liam he understood, but his mother, and especially his grandmother. Something was afoot there, but he’d have to save that for another time. For right now all he could do was work to get to Emma.

The drive to the institute was faster than normal but it felt like it took an eternity. When he finally got there, he was greeted by playing children and general merriment. The festivities were starting soon, and Emma’s original plan had been to come by when she and Henry were done at the beach. Perhaps he’d get lucky and she’d already be here, he looked around and finally saw someone who might know.

“Elsa, have you seen Emma today?”

“She’s not coming,” Elsa said and Killian’s heart dropped. “She called to say she and Henry couldn’t make it.”

“All right, well do you know where she is, in the meantime? I’ve tried to call her and I really need to speak with her. It’s… well you see… something, um -,”

“She told me what happened,” Elsa said, filling him both with relief and dread all at once.

“Elsa, I -,”

“How could you not tell her?” Elsa asked, not yelling for the sake of any children who might hear, but clearly mad. In fact, Killian had never seen Elsa so much as cross before, so this anger was truly something to behold, unexpected as it was. “Do you know how upset she was? Do you know what it must feel like for her? She deserved to know that, and you should have told her.”

“Elsa, I’m sorry –“

“Don’t tell _me_ that. Tell her!” Elsa said, exasperated but then she let out a sigh and Killian noticed her eyes were misting over. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t get so mad. Realistically I know it must not be that simple. It’s just that Emma is my friend, and I never imagined that she didn’t know who you were. Marie told the rest of us what was going on. We were all briefed the day you came, I long assumed Emma was too. Then I began to wonder, but you two were so close, she had to know. When she called today, I could hear the sting of her betrayal. She really had no idea. She was blindsided.”

“I never meant for her to get hurt, Elsa.”

“But surely you must have known she would find out. It was only a matter of time, and you had weeks to break it to her, but you chose not to.”

“I tried, a hundred times, I really did. But we were always here. There were always things that needed doing and children underfoot. And even in the quiet moments… I could have found a way, Elsa, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her looking at me differently. I can’t explain what she means to me, what her seeing me for me has granted me.”

“Even if that’s true it doesn’t change the outcome,” Elsa said sadly. “She needed to know. When were you going to tell her?”

“I was going to tell her tomorrow on our date.”

“You were going on a date? Like an actual date?” Elsa squeaked out, seemingly surprised at the information. “Tomorrow? Oh my goodness, that’s why she wanted me to watch Henry.”

“Aye,” Killian said, curious as to why Emma hadn’t mentioned that part to Elsa.

“I can’t believe you finally asked her. So if you’re asking her on a date, are you serious about her?” He nodded, trying to silently convey the words he wanted to save for Emma. He regretted that it had slipped out with his family before. The first person to know that he loved Emma should be Emma, and despite his quiet non-response, Elsa began to understand that. “And you swear to me that you were going to tell her tomorrow?”

“I give you my word, Elsa. I even sent her a letter this morning before everything happened. It wasn’t enough but it was all I could do.”

“She didn’t mention a letter,” Elsa said shaking her head. “So chances are she never got it.” His heart bled at that confirmation.

“I take full responsibility for her pain, Elsa. I know I am in the wrong. The blame lies entirely with me. But please, believe me when I tell you that I will do everything in my power to make it up to her. No matter what it takes. Emma is the most important thing to me.”

Elsa looked him over, critically trying to assess whether or not he could be trusted. He hoped beyond hope that he would live up to Elsa’s scrutiny, because he was now relying on what else Elsa might know to find Emma and make amends. When she finally nodded, silently accepting his words as truth, he let out a shaky breath. He wanted to ask her where he could find Emma since she wasn’t coming by, but he didn’t have to, she imparted everything she knew on him. Where she was (which was home), what she was doing (making dinner for her and Henry after their beach day), and what he could bring to start to try and make amends (the special dessert that cook was making that both Emma and Henry were desperate for). Killian appreciated all the help, and as he stood in the back with Elsa, waiting on the sweet treats to be wrapped for delivery, he felt a tug at his hand. Looking down he saw Cecelia, who was offering him a shy smile.

“Hello, little love. How are you doing this evening?” Cecelia let out a giggle at his formalities, something he’d grown to learn that she liked over the past few weeks.

“We had dinner, and cake, and we are playing. Pirates and princesses!” she said excitedly. “Do you want to play, Killy?”

The name that Cecelia had begun to use for him, which only his family ever called him, made him happy, in spite of the circumstances. He smiled at the never-ending charm this little girl had, and at her sweet disposition and thoughtfulness.

“Unfortunately, I can’t stay. I’m on a mission you see.”

“A mission?” She asked excitedly. “What kind of mission?”

“I did something that was not very nice, but I feel very badly about what I did. So I am going to say I’m sorry. And I am going to also bring this, as a token of my apology.”

“What’s a token?” Cecelia asked.

“It’s like a little symbol or present. I want to show I’m thinking of the person who I upset.”

“You should bring flowers,” Cecelia said immediately, dragging him as hard as a five-year-old could drag a full-grown man. “Here, these is my favorite.”

Killian followed the little girl to the meadow and watched as she plucked flower after flower until it made a perfectly imperfect bouquet. At one point she let out a little chirping sound of glee, he asked her what had made her so excited and she showed him the yellow flower she had found.

“These are my Emma’s favorites.”

“Well let’s get some more of those then.”

He thanked his lucky stars that Cecelia didn’t ask more about who he had offended. He could only imagine how sad she would be to discover it was Emma, but as he worked to retrieve the flowers with her, Killian solemnly vowed again that he would make amends. This might not be nearly enough to do so, but it was a start, and no matter what it took, he would eventually find a way to win Emma back again. As soon as he had the blossoms in hand, and the dessert with the help of Elsa, Killian was ready to go, but as he looked back out to the car with his driver and took another look at his detail his stomach sank. He didn’t want to do any of this with an audience. He didn’t want the flagrant reminder of why they were different thrown in Emma’s face.

“You know, Elsa and I got really good at ditching our bodyguards when we were kids,” a voice said, and Killian looked over to see Anna, Elsa’s sister, who he also knew to be a good friend of Emma’s and kind to him personally.

“Anna!”

“Oh shoot, pretend you didn’t hear that!” Anna said, her face suddenly sobering. “Seriously, don’t repeat that. To anyone. Ever.”

“I won’t,” he said, curious as to why the sisters would have ever needed their own bodyguards. It was a strange thing, especially seeing where they were now in their lives, but he knew full well it was not his business. “But I hope you mentioned it to offer a suggestion. I’ll take any tricks of the trade, so to speak.”

Anna let out a sigh of relief before looking over his shoulder. “Gus is the main one watching you today, right? The others are stationed outside?” Killian nodded. “Excellent – totally lucked into that one.”

“How so?” Killian asked and Elsa filled in, shocking him further.

“Gus is a great guy, very capable, but easily distracted. He sat down a full twenty minutes for Eloise to make him an origami frog last week. Barely kept tabs on you the whole time.”

“You noticed that?”

“We notice everything,” Anna said with a smile, before pulling out two of the flowers in his chosen bouquet and tossing them away. On second thought they didn’t exactly match, but he didn’t have the chance to thank Anna before she was giving him another gift. “I’ve got a moped in the shed out front. It’s speedy, efficient and has a helmet and saddle bag. You can fit everything inside and get to Emma in five minutes flat. We’ll keep Gus distracted.”

“For how long?” Killian asked and Elsa and Anna exchanged a look.

“Thirty minutes, easy. But if we hit him with a meal from Cook, could be longer.”

“I owe you two, royally.” The two sisters laughed at his words and he groaned. “Pun not intended, but you take my meeting.”

“Two I-O-Us from our neighborhood Captain and Prince. We’ll take it.”

“Call it even if you make it up to Emma,” Elsa agreed, and Killian nodded his head. Then he watched as Anna grabbed his flowers and the dessert and made a big show of asking him for his help on the third floor. He understood her ruse and agreed, at the same time that he nodded to Gus and Elsa moved over to his guard. She struck up a conversation with him, bringing in some of the kids, and quickly Killian and Anna snuck out, getting the moped in record time.

“Emma lives only a few blocks away,” Anna said, writing out the address that she read off of her phone. He was grateful for that as he’d sent the letter this morning through a royal courier. He hadn’t actually known her address, but relied on Jefferson’s intel to get it there. “Here. Do you know where that is?”

“I do,” Killian said, relieved as all hell for that. “Thank you, Anna. Without you and Elsa…”

“Just keep your promise. Make things right with Emma,” Anna said, shooing him away as she stood guard, making sure no one was aware of their deceit.

As he drove out of the front gate, Killian felt free, and he rode as fast as he could without risking his life to get to Emma. Soon enough he was at her building. He parked the bike, and with shaky hands gathered his items of penance. It wasn’t enough, but he hoped it could be a start. Quickly he moved up the front steps, schooling his breathing, and hoping beyond hope she’d open the door. He knocked three times, the heavy metal of the knocker sounding out against the wood. Thud. Thud. Thud. His heart was racing, his mind outpaced it, and seconds stood still until he heard the sound of feet behind the door. A subtle pause, a bated breath, and then…

……………….

Never in her nearly thirty years of life did Emma Swan ever encounter a situation like this one. The drama and the intrigue, the secrets and a big reveal, it was exhausting and complex. In truth it was too much to comprehend, and as a result she was currently standing in her kitchen, staring aimlessly into the refrigerator, and wondering what the hell was going on.

It started with a pretty simple premise: girl meets boy at a new job. That part she had no real trouble understanding. People met every day and sparks flew, that was pretty normal. Not so much for a single mom who was always barely treading water, but it could happen. Theoretically she always had a chance of meeting a man who was interesting and captivating and funny and smooth.

Stage two was also somewhat familiar: girl falls for boy. It was less likely, but still believable. She had never felt any significant pull to a guy except for Henry’s Dad, and even looking past the horrible way that relationship turned out, the feelings were not the same. That love was grounded in need, a need for connection and for love and for family. She was without a center, and Neal was a way to build her world around someone else. With Killian it was different. Emma liked the idea of finding love, but she had no need to build a world around someone else because she already had so much in her life and she understood and loved herself so much more than she had as a girl. Instead, with Killian, she felt a kinship and an undercurrent of possibility. Killian had jolted her out of the small life she was leading and made her dream of more. It was exciting and new, and though she never really expected love like that to come, she knew that it was technically _possible_ for her to feel for someone again. She hadn’t anticipated it, but it could happen, and with Killian it did. 

The next part though, that was what killed her and was completely and totally bat shit crazy: boy turns out to be prince of a tiny coastal nation that no one’s ever heard of, but is heaven on earth. Like… what? What the _what_?!

This was the making of some cheesy movie or romance book, but it was never anyone’s actual life. Even when girls met princes, they always knew from the jump that they were a prince. But Emma? Oh no, she had to be the one in 7-something billion to completely miss the memo. Okay actually that wasn’t quite right. Most of the issue here was that no one outside of Montenarro knew about this country, let alone its monarchs. Still, she was surrounded by people who were aware of the truth: Elsa, Anna, Marco, Marie. The list went on and on and on, and yet at no point did anyone ever think to let her in on this giant, gaping, gargantuan secret.

Of course, the person who really should have said something was Killian, and for hours Emma had wondered what the hell he was thinking by not telling her. Like sure, maybe it wasn’t polite to introduce yourself as Prince Killian of Montenarro from the jump, and yeah, he was clearly trying to fly under the radar with the kids, probably to make them feel more connected and not separated by status, but it was unfathomable that he would never have brought this up. Especially given the fact that he was in a nationally watched parade today. How did he possibly think she was going to miss that? And more importantly, how could she trust him, or anyone else for that matter, after they’d kept this from her for so long? She thought back to her phone call to the institute earlier where she’d told everyone she and Henry couldn’t make it. She didn’t plan to say anything, hoping to hide the shame of being so stupid, but Elsa could tell something was up, and when she asked Emma couldn’t deny it…

“Are you sure that you’re all right, Emma? It’s not like you to miss something like this and I know that Henry and you have both been looking forward to this. Are you sick? Can we bring you something? Anna or I can come and -,”

_“It’s not like that,” Emma admitted, taking in a shaky breath before blurting out a question that had bothered her all day. “Why didn’t you tell me, Elsa?”_

“Tell you what?” her friend asked, seriously perplexed.

_“About Killian.”_

“Emma, I’m sorry, I’m not following you here. What happened with Killian?”

_“I saw him today at the parade.”_

“Oh I know he called here, just in case we played it on television. He doesn’t want the first time the kids hear to be through the parade. He wants to tell them himself, which I respect.”

_“Well I wish he’d had the same regard for me.”_

“Regard for – wait, Emma, you didn’t know?!”

_“No,” Emma admitted, grateful that Henry was putting his beach stuff away upstairs. She had a little privacy and the sadness of this moment could air without her son knowing her pain. “I had literally no idea and now I feel like an idiot because we were there, Henry and I, and I saw Killian and he saw me, and it’s just… it’s like I’m too heartbroken to be mad. Does that make sense?”_

“Oh, Emma,” _Elsa said, and Emma closed her eyes, willing the unshed tears to go away. She couldn’t break down right now. She just couldn’t, but she would if she continued to think about this._ “If I had ever thought in a million years that he would be so careless, I would have told you from the start. Anna and I wondered if you realized in the beginning, and we weren’t totally sure, but we thought maybe if you didn’t know then he was waiting for the right moment. It was hard to tell because maybe he had told you and you and you were keeping things private. I thought for sure he would have told you whenever you got a real moment one on one, and you’ve had a few the past few weeks. It never occurred to me that you were still in the dark. I never imagined…”

_“It’s not your fault, Elsa,” Emma said, fending off the tears that threatened to come in the face of this bad moment._

“Has he tried to reach out to you? To explain himself?”

_“I haven’t checked,” Emma admitted. “I called you on the land line here. My phone’s been off all day.”_

“Don’t you want to hear what he has to say?”

_“Of course I do,” she admitted. Knowing it was true. She wanted answers, and she also wanted to understand. Why had he done this? What was he possibly thinking?_

“So why -,”

_“Because what if there is nothing to say?” Emma interrupted, her biggest fear revealed. “I mean he’s a prince, Elsa, and I’m just… me.”_

“You’re not _just_ anything, Emma,” _Elsa said determinedly. “_ You are brilliant and wonderful, and let me tell you something, titles and nobility don’t mean anything. The merit of a person resides in their heart, not in a crown.”

_Emma appreciated her friend’s faith in her, and she didn’t think much of how adamantly opposed Elsa seemed to the exultation of nobility. Still, she felt unanchored right now. She’d really begun to feel that connection with Killian was something special, and it was impossible not to question all of it in the face of a secret this big. Because this was big. Really big. Honestly it was -_

“Mom?” Emma jumped at the sound of Henry’s voice and she looked over to her son who had a curious look on his face. She closed the fridge door, unsure of how long it had been open, but her attempt to cover herself didn’t go unnoticed. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, kid. What’s up?”

“There’s someone at the door. They knocked twice already. I’d answer it but you know the whole stranger danger, different country thing.”

“Right,” Emma said wiping her hands down her shirt and preparing to greet whoever it was. She suspected it was Elsa or Anna. After Elsa had told her that she was absolutely Killian’s equal regardless of status, both Elsa and Anna had been on the phone, telling her to be strong and have faith in herself. They were both hopeful but also incredibly sympathetic, and despite Emma’s protests, both had mentioned sending some cake this way for her and Henry. Still she didn’t want to see anyone. Okay that was true she only wanted to see one person, but as she moved to open the door, she knew it wouldn’t be – wait, Killian? Oh God, he was here. Like actually here.

“Emma,” he said, his voice filled with equal parts relief and anguish.

“You’re here,” Emma said, dumbfounded. She never in a million years expected him to actually come to her house, not after the parade today and realizing who he was. The reminder of his real identity had her looking to the street. What kind of scene was being made for him to come here? But then when she looked there was no one outside, and nothing but a moped on the street. Only then did she realize the helmet he carried. “Where’s your detail?”

“I ditched them. Didn’t want to draw attention.”

“You ditched them?” Emma parroted, not following him. “Is that an option?”

“I made it one,” Killian said, determinedly. “Look, Emma, I know that what I’ve done is unforgiveable. I said that in the letter this morning.”

“Letter?” Emma asked and finally understanding dawned on her. That thing she thought was an invitation in her tote bag… that had held answers all along. God, seriously? What a mess, and here she’d been thinking on this for hours and maybe there were some answers already in her grasp. But whether or not that was true it was too late now. “That was from you. I thought it was from the institute.”

“So you never read it,” he said and she shook her head and Killian grimaced before straightening his stance and diving into what the letter must have said. “It hardly matters. A letter could never be enough to right what I’ve done. I know I should have told you who I was from the start, and having things go so badly today when what we have is so good… it damn near kills me to know I’ve ruined things before they’ve even had a chance to really form. But I swear to you, on everything I hold dear, that I never meant to hurt you, Emma.”

Now the tears were back, misting over in her eyes and she couldn’t try and stop them. Today had been so crazy and she was stressed and angry and sad. But the look in Killian’s eyes as he tracked her sadness broke something else inside her. His longing and his sorrow were so palpable. She knew, even without his words that he was truly sorry, and when he moved toward her, taking her hand, she didn’t pull away. She stayed there, too caught up in feelings to speak, and allowing him to try and explain some more.

“I know my words can’t possibly be enough, Emma. I would never expect them to be. I’ve been foolish and I’ve been daft, and Lord knows I would give anything the world over to take back the pain I caused you. It’s the last thing I would ever want. You deserve so much better, and God above, I am sorry Emma. So deeply, truly sorry. I want to show you how sorry I am. I want to make this right. I know asking you for anything is unthinkable. I don’t deserve your forgiveness or a second chance, but I can’t walk away, love. I don’t want to lose you, I don’t think I could bear it.”

What could she say to such a statement, such bold claims of caring about her and regretting what he’d done? She had so much to say. She was angry and hurt and embarrassed, but underneath all that she still felt the pull that was there before. Despite everything that had happened, she couldn’t help but look into his blue eyes and feel like there was magic here between them. Her heartbeat skipped out of time, and her hands grew shaky. She didn’t know whether she wanted to slap him or kiss him. Honestly, she probably wanted to do both. Still, the only thought ringing in her head was that he was here. He’d come to her, for her, and he was really, actually here.

“Who is it, Mom?” Henry’s question from behind her made her jump, and without thinking she stepped away from Killian’s hold before Henry could see their hands joined together. Jesus, this was all going so crazy so fast, and then Henry’s eyes lit up and he gasped. “Wait, aren’t you… you’re the prince! You were at the parade today.”

“Aye, lad,” Killian said, and though he aimed a kind smile at her son, Emma could tell it took everything in Killian not to wince at the pronouncement.

“But what are you doing here? What’s going on, Mom?” Henry looked to her and Emma looked between him and Killian trying to figure out how to play this.

“Killian and I, um, work together.”

“Wait _this_ is Killian?” Henry asked, and Emma felt her cheeks flush as her son gave away the fact that she’d talked of him at home. “You said he was a Captain in the navy, but I didn’t know he was a Prince!”

_Neither did I,_ Emma thought, but she was at a loss for words. Luckily Killian stepped in.

“At the institute I’ve been blessed to be as I am. I’m not a prince there. I’m just a man. Just Killian.”

“That must be hard sometimes,” Henry said, surprising both Emma and Killian with the words. “Being a prince, I mean. I mean it’s cool, but a lot of responsibility, I bet.”

“Aye, lad. Truth be told I’m not always up to my familial role,” Killian confessed, making Emma’s heart ache with the sincerity he displayed. “Some have said I’m not particularly good at being a prince. I can’t disagree with the sentiment.”

“How are you at making pizza?” Henry asked, completely changing the subject on a dime, in the way only a kid could. Henry showed absolutely no intimidation in the face of meeting royalty. He was completely relaxed, stunning Emma with his nonchalance.

“Erm, well, I wouldn’t really know,” Killian said, his hand moving through his hair in a gesture of uncertainty. “I can’t actually recall ever making my own.”

“That’s okay, it’s easy. Mom’s a master at it. She can show you. Right, Mom?”

“Henry, Killian probably has other things he has to do.” She looked to him trying to assure him that he did not need to indulge her son. But when her eyes met Killian’s she was yet again surprised at the hope she found there. He wasn’t running for the hills or jonesing to get away and back to the palace. In fact, he looked excited at the prospect.

“Actually,” Killian said, hedging a moment making, silently making sure she wasn’t trying to give him the brush off. She purposefully kept quiet, thus giving him permission to make his own call. “There’s no place I’d rather be than here, making pizza as it were.”

“Really?” Emma asked and Killian nodded before motioning to the box he was carrying that she hadn’t paid any mind to before.

“Aye, and I come bearing an offering of sorts. Elsa and Anna send their regards, and cook’s coveted cake.”

“Wohoo!!” Henry yelled, whooping with joy as he pulled Killian inside, dragging him to the kitchen to get dinner underway. For Emma’s part she was still hesitant. This was not something she ever expected, and it was not smart to let Henry get attached to Killian when she didn’t even know what was going to happen between them. But the fact that Elsa and Anna had sent him her way was an endorsement, and if they trusted him after she’d been so honest about her pain today, she didn’t think she should fully close the door on this.

What ensued after that was a few hours of strangely perfect intimacy. Despite the newness, and how much was still unsaid between them, Emma watched Killian and Henry truly bond. He may not have much experience in the kitchen, but Killian was a quick learner, and more than anything he was attentive. He met Henry’s enthusiasm with appreciation and support, and when her kid chattered on all night, Killian only seemed to enjoy himself more. Watching all of this, and knowing that Killian had every intention of speaking to her when they were alone, made Emma’s heart soften, and though she was still scared shitless about his being a prince, she felt her defenses waning at the night went on. Even in the middle of such a mess, this man was perfectly imperfect. He was flawed, and he had acted badly, but he was good still, with a heart so big and kind she couldn’t help but wish for more nights like this, both for her and for Henry. In spite of who he was, Killian seemed to fit here, and hours later, when Henry was readying for bed and had bid them both goodnight, Emma wanted to find a way to say that even while she held him accountable for what he’d done.

“Whatever it is you’re thinking, Swan, you should say it. I promise you I can handle it. No need to mince words or hold back,” he said, showing once again just how much he understood her. She closed her eyes, steadying her breath, willing the questions and the accusations to come, but they didn’t. So instead she said what she felt.

“You’re a prince.”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Why am I a prince?” he asked, confused.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because if it were up to me, I wouldn’t be a prince. But beyond that, you saw me,” he replied honestly. “The real me. Not the man the world thinks that I am or that my family thinks I should be. You can’t imagine how that felt, how intoxicating it was, when I hardly even knew myself before I met you.”

“You should have told me.”

“I know, love, and I was going to tomorrow. The plan was to have real time together. I didn’t want it rushed or interrupted. I wanted to break it to you gently, because I knew hearing this would hurt no matter when it came. But believe me, Emma, I never planned to be at the parade today. A public spectacle like that when you didn’t know… it was unfathomable and cruel. But I need you to believe that my hands were tied. It’s a complicated story involving politics and parliament, but suffice it to say my brother needed me, and I could not deny the King. I knew it was wrong, but I was bound by honor to my family. They required my presence and I couldn’t turn away from that. Even so, if I had known you’d see me today, that you and Henry wouldn’t already be tucked away at the beach, I never would have gone.” 

“You still should have told me, Killian,” she stressed, appreciating some of the context, but knowing it didn’t actually change anything. He nodded, his eyes taking on a real pain as he replied.

“You’re right, Emma. I started to tell you a thousand times, but fear and cowardice won out. I was terrified – I _am_ terrified – that the truth will have you running. I told myself if I could just find the right moment, then maybe it would be okay. You’d stay because you knew that wasn’t everything I am. I thought if I could make you care for me as I’ve come to care for you…” his voice trailed off for a moment, but he moved towards her, now close enough to touch yet still an ocean away as he continued his confession. “It was stupid, Emma. But more importantly it was selfish and wrong. Keeping this from you goes against everything I feel for you, everything you bring into my world.”

“What do I bring?” she asked, curious as to why he was going to all this effort and facing these hard questions for her of all people.

“What do you bring?” he asked, his voice edging up like he couldn’t believe she would ask that. “Light, Emma. Light and laughter and peace. I’m dizzy from the sight of you, I hardly think unless my thinking is of you, every day I stand in awe of everything that you are, but still in knowing you I’ve found something that feels essential. You calm me, even as you awaken parts of my being I never knew till now. To put it simply, you bring everything, love. It is I who has little but trouble to offer.”

The swirls of emotion that took flight at hearing him say these things was incomprehensible. It was varied and layered, pulling at things in her heart and her soul that she’d always wanted to be and to feel and to know. She knew that he meant this, knew he was showing her his truth absolutely, and yet the tone of his voice was resigned. He was asking for forgiveness but didn’t believe himself worthy of it. And only part of his belief was because of what he’d done. Heartbreakingly, Emma could see most of it was because of this title, this role he never asked for and clearly didn’t yearn to hold. He thought it made him too removed, too burdensome to love. He didn’t see what she did, that he was more than one crown, one title, one role.

Closing the space between them, Emma’s hands came to touch him. One hand came to his chest, the other cupped his cheek. She felt the beating of his heart, and when he looked at her, she saw this sense of hope in his features. It was like she was a lifeline, a saving grace, and she couldn’t help but smile, and try her best to make him see what really was between them.

“You’re wrong, Killian. You may be trouble, but you are also so much more,” she teased. He huffed out a breath, something that wanted to be a laugh but it wasn’t real. It was mired down by doubt, doubt she needed to ease away for both their sakes. “I won’t lie and say I wasn’t angry or upset. Finding out today like I did hurt me. I can’t change that, and neither can you, but in some ways you were right. My knowing from the start would have made things different. I’d love to say it wouldn’t have, but we both know that it would. I’ve got walls and I’ve got triggers. I’m slow to warm and I play it safe. I don’t think I ever could have been so open if I knew the differences between us. I don’t know if I ever could have believed something real could come from this. Knowing would have made me cautious, and yes I probably would have run if you told me too soon.”

His hands came around her, like just the mention of her running made him need to hold her close. And funny enough she didn’t really mind. She loved this feeling, this connection, this warmth. Even with everything, this felt like a perfect slice of heaven. Nestled in his arms she felt safe, like no storm could come that they couldn’t weather together.

“But even if it’s crazy, and I have a million questions, and I have no idea what the hell dating a prince entails… if the prince in question is you, and if you’re still the man I know, the one who gives more than he takes, the one who faces each new challenge, and the one who kissed me yesterday like I’ve never been kissed before… then I don’t want to run. I’m still in this, Killian. The only question is, are you?”

No sooner had she posed the query than his lips crashed down on hers, telling her everything she needed to know without saying anything at all. As life-altering as yesterday’s kiss had been, it was nothing to this. This was a moment shared by two people who had said so much and left it all on the line. There was only want, and desire, and need. She felt it coil from deep within her, radiating through her whole body, and by the time they came up for air she was flooded with the sense that nothing and no one could ever make her feel like this. Killian held the key to this sensation, and it was worth the risk of heartbreak to try and take a chance with him.

“I’ll never have the words to tell you how remarkable you are, Emma. How you revive my very being, and how miraculous it is to feel the way I do when I’m with you,” he said, pushing a wayward strand of hair back behind her ear as he gazed upon her, smiling and joyful and full of relief. “But I aim to show you, Swan. Today and every day I’ll do my best to remind you of all that you are, and all that you mean to me.”

“Good,” she whispered, stealing another taste of him. He growled into the kiss, quickly taking it over and she melted into him again, forgetting everything and living only in the now.

“I hope this all means we’re still on for our date tomorrow,” he said when they came apart again and she nodded, feeling a blush spread over her cheeks.

“I’m still game,” she answered, biting back a groan at her attempt at being casual. It was so corny, but screw it. He didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was looking at her like she hung the moon and the sun and the stars.

“You’re certainly something, love,” Killian said smirking at her in that sexy way and kissing her again. She melted into the embrace but when they broke apart once more, she admitted another fear she had.

“I may be bad at this,” Emma warned.

“You, bad? I don’t believe that’s possible,” Killian said, his voice warm and lush and happy in the face of this second chance.

“I’m not great at dating generally. It never turns out well in the end.”

“For me either,” he confessed. “But I suppose that’s because we’ve never had the proper partners.”

“I’m scared to mess this up,” Emma admitted.

“You are incapable of doing so,” Killian reaffirmed, kissing her gently before resting his forehead against hers. “You’re the reason we still have hope. Your forgiveness is everything, Emma, and I promise you, as different as our circumstances are, I will never again allow you to be hurt. Not by me, my title, or the baggage from my past. You, and Henry, are safe with me. I swear it.”

“Are you sure you can make a promise like that?” Emma asked, doubting anyone’s ability to prevent bad outcomes, but Killian’s determination was unwavering. He was absolute in his promise, and she had no choice but to believe him.

“I am sure. We can do this Emma. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you desire. You’re the Captain of this vessel, so to speak, but if you trust me, I know we can see this through. I’ve never felt anything so surely as I feel that.”

And with that, and with a few more heated kisses, Emma and Killian cemented their decision to really give this a shot. Unfortunately, Killian had to leave soon thereafter, heading back to the palace where everyone was likely worried sick from his ditching his detail, but Emma knew he’d be back tomorrow for their date. And as she watched him ride away, and she closed the door behind him, she made a conscious choice to really give this all she had. Because despite the worries and the fears, and despite the crazy thought that he was a prince and she was an ordinary woman, she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t follow her heart.

**_Post-Note: Okay so… what do you think? Am I forgiven? I hope that I am, and if I am not let me entice you with the promise of next chapter, which is going to be a fluff and feels filled first date worthy of a prince and his (soon to be) princess. Honestly though, this has always been my vision for this story. I think about that scene in the Prince and Me when the girl sees the prince and he runs to her from the parade and I love it, and yet I wanted to twist that a bit, to turn it on its head and in the process keep Emma and Killian’s love still a private, personal thing. I want them to have more time to grow and nurture their feelings, to know it’s definitely love before the whole world gets a say, and of course throwing in meddling Anna and Elsa, and having Henry push the love birds along a little never hurts either. Anyway, what I am trying to say is I hope you guys enjoyed and I thank you all for reading. Not sure when the next chapter will be ready, because I am in the final stretch of school craziness, but know that it is coming and that I can’t wait to share the rest of this story with all of you. Until next time!_ **


	8. Chapter 8

**_A/N: Hey everyone! So I was writing this chapter before and during the angst of posting the parade chapter, and I want to just say, that while I knew many of you would be stressed, I imagined this chapter (and chapter 7) as a healing remedy. This is filled with first date fluff and cuteness and also some more needed disclosures between Killian and Emma. it represents a real beginning, and hopefully you’ll all enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing. Anyway, without further ado, here goes!_ **

_Okay, Emma, don’t panic. It’s just Killian. You like Killian. Actually, you really like Killian. And yes, he might be a prince, but that doesn’t have to mean so much when you think about it. A date is a date. Sure, you haven’t been on one in years, and certainly not with a man you actually cared about. But it’s fine. It’s_ so _fine. You got this. It’s not like he’s taking you to the palace for the date. Oh Jesus, he’s not taking me to the palace is he? I know he said he wasn’t but –_

_“I can practically hear you overthinking things through the door, Emma. Cut it out!”_ Anna scolded with her ever present affection laced into the sharp words. The censure snapped Emma’s focus back into the moment and reminded her that time was ticking, and she had others waiting on her. _“Now come on, we want to see your dress, don’t we Henry?”_

_“Yeah, Mom. Open up!”_

Anna and Henry’s headed back down the hall, and Emma heard their footsteps loudly thumping in a purposefully dramatic way. They hadn’t even waited for her reply, they just commanded her to get a move on. Emma smiled at their antics, despite her flurry of nerves, and looked back to the mirror one last time. She smoothed out the lines of the delicate dress she’d chosen for tonight, recalling Killian’s promise that they would have complete privacy and no expectations. With that assurance, she went with something pretty and yet still comfortable. Her chosen sun dress reflected the seasonal heat they’d been experiencing, but the pretty pink color was not her usual choice. It was different, but it felt special, and as she’d been choosing from the hordes of outfits Anna and Elsa offered when they arrived, Emma couldn’t help remembering Cecelia’s words at the center’s picnic. She’d said pink was for princesses, and though Emma by no means thought herself a princess, she wanted to feel a bit surer of herself in a not so normal situation.

“All right, I’m coming out,” Emma announced, swinging the door open and heading out for the big reveal.

Elsa, Anna and Henry were all gathered by the television, plotting out their movies to watch and snacks to consume while she and Killian went out for the night. Emma was so grateful to have new people in her life who would give up their one night off from work to help her care for her son, but when she tried to thank them, Elsa and Anna waved off her gratitude as unnecessary. Already they considered her a ‘dear friend’ and they were thrilled to spend more time with Henry. Henry was equally excited, but when he knew this was happening so Emma and Killian could go out, that excitement was compounded. He’d loved every minute they spent with Killian yesterday, and he’d reaffirmed that all day long. Henry had also been very clear of his approval and his want for Emma to give this a real chance.

When she came into view of her friends and her son, Emma felt a bit of lingering uncertainty, but it faded in the sight of everyone’s reactions. Elsa and Anna were so expressive, both of them clapping and smiling immediately.

“Oh, it’s perfect, Emma, just perfect,” Elsa said happily while Anna gave her own assessment.

“I really thought you should go with something more formal, but you were so right. This is the one.”

Emma smiled at the thought and looked to Henry. The softness of his expression made her throat tighten unexpectedly, and in seconds she was ready to cry. He looked so sweet and filled with adoration, and then he said the most beautiful words that always made a mother truly happy. “You look beautiful, Mom.”

“Thanks, kid,” she said, gesturing for him to come over. He ran to her, giving her a big hug that made her teeter slightly on her wedged shoes. She held on tight though, cherishing this love from her son and taking strength from his love for her. “You sure it’s really ok?”

“Killian’s not going to know what hit him,” Henry agreed with a grin. Then that smile faltered and Emma grew worried.

“Everything okay, Henry?” her son nodded.

“Yeah, Mom. Everything is great. You know I like Killian. He was so cool yesterday, and he makes you happy. I saw that.”

Emma couldn’t disagree. Even with all the unknowns and the questions and the hurt yesterday she had been happy. Spending time with Killian and Henry together had been easy and fun. It felt natural, and she’d loved that. It scared her, but she wanted it, and that was part of the reason she’d chosen to forgive Killian and still try despite everything that happened. Still, she felt there was something Henry wasn’t saying, and she waited her son out to see if he’d tell the full truth.

“You deserve this, Mom. I know you’re nervous still, about getting back out there after what happened with my Dad,” her heart stopped. They rarely ever talked about Neal, but when they did Emma always worried. Her priority was Henry and she never wanted him to feel like he was missing something. But in this moment, Henry quickly put those worries to rest. “But this is different. Killian is not like that.”

“You seem pretty sure about that,” Emma said, trying for lightness in tone, but not quite getting there.

“I am sure. You always told me to follow my gut, and my gut says that Killian is good for you. Good for us. Don’t you think?”  
  


“I think…” Emma said, weighing her words carefully. Because yes, she did think that might be the case, but it was still very early on in whatever this relationship was, and she didn’t want to build up hopes too high for her or her son. “I think that I am excited for this date. So, what does that tell you?”

Henry grinned. He looked poised to say more but then a knock sounded at the door. Emma’s stomach flipped in anticipation and all the butterflies came back full force. Oh god he was here. This was actually happening.

“Look at that,” Anna said gleefully, gesturing to her watch. “He’s three whole minutes early. Someone’s certainly eager.”

“Anna,” Elsa said, chastising her sister, but only in jest. Elsa then came to stand and took Emma’s hands as a means of reassuring her. “You got this Emma. You can be totally certain we’ve got things handled here. Your only job is to go and have a marvelous time, okay?”

“And then report back all the details to us later,” Anna said. Elsa rolled her eyes, which made Emma laugh in spite of her anxiety, and then smiled.

“Any and all detail sharing is up to you.”

“Thank you. Both of you,” Emma said to Elsa and Anna. “Now Henry, you be good, okay?”

“You got it, dude,” he said sticking his thumbs up and quoting a show from her childhood that he’d taken to as a kid when it was on constant reruns. She laughed again, and allowed that laughter to carry her to the door. She didn’t give herself a chance to second guess, she just went for it, and then she saw Killian on the other side and she was spellbound, caught in a web of how handsome he looked.

“Emma.”

His voice sounded out in a deep rumble, gruff with feeling as his eyes took her in. She barely noticed though, distracted as she was by his outfit. Damn, it should not be legal for a man to be that hot. He was that perfect mix of formal and casual, and she momentarily forgot her audience. In fact, she forgot about everything except Killian, and by the time her eyes met his again, he was smiling this sinful smirk that lit her up inside. Crap, he’d caught her ogling him, but when he stepped towards her and filled the air around her with the scent of him she was lost again. She wanted to melt into him right now, but he held back, teasing her but never quite following through.

“I’ve no intention of waiting to the end of the evening to taste you, love,” he whispered, low enough that only she would hear. “But at the present moment we’ve got an audience, and I won’t put you through that.”

Emma nodded, thinking he meant Henry, Anna and Elsa but then she looked over his shoulder and saw the detail he’d had to bring. She blushed at the fact that she’d forgotten herself, but Killian didn’t give her any time to linger in that. Instead he took her hand in his gently. She assumed they’d leave straight away, but he surprised her by asking how Henry was.

“He’s great actually. Elsa and Anna are already spoiling him and I haven’t even left yet,” she said and Killian’s amusement was so genuine it touched her heart. “Do you want to say hi before we go?”

“I would love that,” he confessed and Emma brought him inside, realizing too late that this could be the equivalent of bringing him to the Spanish Inquisition. Her kid already asked a lot of questions, but with Elsa and Anna here, there was simply no way of knowing what would be asked or said. As if he could sense her worry, he squeezed her hand lightly and pressed a reassuring kiss to the top just before they came into view of the others.

“Hey, Killian! I didn’t know you were coming in. I hoped you might, but then Anna said people on dates get all heart eyes and stuff, whatever that means, and maybe you might forget.”

“Couldn’t possibly forget you, lad. Not when you introduced me to the world’s best pizza.”

Henry’s smile at that and his easy hop up from the couch to slap Killian’s hand had Emma absentmindedly rubbing at her heart. She watched the two of them catching up on the day, and also saw how easy Killian was with Anna and Elsa. Both of them lobbed a few sassier questions or comments his way, but he handled it all with grace, and every time he looked back at Emma, which was often, he had a smile on his face, like he was genuinely glad to be here, jumping through all these hoops.

Finally, after a a little visit with all of them, Killian made their excuses, while still keeping their end destination a secret. He offered Emma his hand once more and she took it, following him as he lead her out her front door and to the car. With sure and steady movements, he handed her inside carefully, acting every bit the gentleman. He then came around to the driver’s side and only when they were off and driving did she realize how not normal this must be.

“So what did you have to do to convince Jefferson to let you drive?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Killian said honestly before flashing her a smile. “He’s a smart man. He knows a losing battle when he sees one, and any iteration of this date where I sacrifice alone time with you is definitely a losing battle.”

Emma loved that he’d made this clear, and through the rest of the ride they talked and fell into an easy pattern together. It wasn’t long before they’d reached their destination though and Emma gawked when they pulled up to the magnificent, high, wrought iron gate.

“I thought you said we weren’t going to the palace,” she said, stunned at the size of this place. From the outside it looked like a castle, at least to someone who’d only ever lived in cramped apartments (at best) her whole life.

“This isn’t the palace. It’s another of my family’s estates. Actually, if you want to get technical, it’s mine.”

“Yours,” she said, dumbfounded, but entranced as they were let through and she looked at the stone façade. It was beautifully crafted, and maybe it was smaller than a palace might be, but it was a gorgeous home on a sprawling bit of perfectly manicured land. In a word it was intimidating, but she couldn’t deny the beauty, or the immediate charm of the place.

“Aye. I haven’t spent much time here though. I’ve always been home with my family when on leave. Historically if I so much as mention leaving, my Gran gets cagey and my mother grows quiet, two things you do not want to happen.”

“Bad signs?” Emma joked, and Killian nodded.

“Most definitely. Now though I don’t anticipate any push back.”

“What’s changed?”

“Everything.”

The way he looked at her when he said that told Emma so much. He was talking about her and about them. She felt a flare of heat and appreciation at his affirmation. Knowing he took this seriously made her happy even if she was still not ready to fully jump in. But it begged the question, did his mother and grandmother know about them? Did his brother? What did they think? Did they approve? All these thoughts ran rampant in her mind until Killian drew her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. Immediately any worries fled and she was just here, with him, in this glorious moment. It felt just as good as she remembered, and she loved the taste of him and the feel of his hard body against hers. Emma never felt more secure or safe than she did in his arms, and she didn’t ever want to draw back. Fear was never on her radar when she kissed this man. She was simply free, free to be herself and to believe in something greater.

“I told you I couldn’t wait for the end of the night,” Killian said, his words a low warble that brushed against her skin when they broke apart. Her eyes opened and she took in his sexy as sin smile and felt her heart skip a beat. Damn this man for being so distracting. He was just so smooth and effortless, but underneath that swagger there was some not so hidden insecurity. He could be this and still be vulnerable with her, and that helped Emma feel like all of this was that much more real.

“Who said you needed to?” she quipped, teasing him with an almost kiss of her own and a soft nip at his lip. He growled and she pulled back, chuckling lightly. “Actually, on second thought, a little waiting never hurt.”

She should not have taken so much pleasure at his groan, but he respected her wishes, taking her hand and leading her inside. His hold on her was sure and strong, and she followed him, intrigued by a place she’d never seen the likes of before. The walkway inside was immaculately gardened. The cobblestone was ancient and even, and the vines along the walls were green and full and bright. There were flowers in the hedgerow, and the glass of all the windows glinted with the remaining sunlight. It was a gorgeous façade, and she was eager to see what beauty lay inside.

Walking into the manor home, Emma was struck by the design and the aura of the place. This home was pristinely kept and yet classic in all ways, but where Emma expected sterile, spacious garishness and overblown luxury, she found none. The mood inside was warm, there was plenty of natural light thanks to all those windows, letting in the dimming summer sun, and historical accents that blended with much more modern fare. Room by room she tried not to gawk at how beautiful it all was. It was wild because it was so different, but there was so much she liked, and so many parts of the house she saw and actually desired. It was a royal getaway but it was still a home, and that was beautiful. Thankfully they did not go on a full tour. That would have been kind of mortifying, and a reminder of how truly different their lives were, but what she did see was stunning. She could imagine Killian here, and for a moment she allowed herself to think if she would like it here and if Henry would too.

But she was getting way ahead of herself. She shook away the thoughts as they entered the kitchen, and once they were inside, she saw the first unkempt part of the house to date. It wasn’t messy, per se, but there were ingredients out and utensils and things for cooking. Actually, it looked like someone had already cooked half of a meal. Some things must be in the fridge, but there was enough on the counters for Emma to be curious. Yet there was no one in the house that she’d seen so far. The staff, Killian informed her, had all been given the night off. The only people on the property were his detail and they were at the gates. This was a secured place so aside from regular rounds, there would be no one walking about, and Killian assured her no one would be in earshot or view of either of them. She looked at Killian quizzically and he explained.

“I thought I might cook you dinner tonight, love, but then I realized, as a relative novice, some parts may take too much time. Between reading the recipes and consulting the videos I found online, it was a rather long process. So, I got what I could done earlier before picking you up. I didn’t want to keep you waiting.”

“Killian, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble,” she said shaking her head. No one had ever done anything like this for her. Certainly not someone who had so many other calls on his time and attention.

“It wasn’t any trouble, love. And I hope, when you find out what exactly is on the menu, you’ll be pleased.”

Emma didn’t know what she was expecting him to feed her, but his menu, as he put it, was a mix of elegant refinement and casual things that showed his attentiveness. He had a few courses mapped out, and most were unfamiliar and native to the Montennaran coast, but every one smelled delicious and tasted even better. It was a languid pacing, with Emma offering to help and Killian insisting he could do this. This left her to relax with a glass of some of the best wine she’d ever tasted, and gave the two of them space to talk, all while Emma took in his determination and sheer power of will. He was a beginner in all of this, and some elements took a bit more time because he was new to them, but his carefulness and attention told her so much about him, and all of his patience was well rewarded.

They stopped to share each plate together, and those moments felt especially intimate. They were seated close together, with barely any space between them, sharing each dish and enjoying each other’s company. Of course it was only a matter of time before that closeness got the better of them, but every time Emma thought they’d give in to the crackle of heat between them, Killian would say there was another course left. He’d press a gentle kiss to her cheek or her neck or her lips and be back up cooking once more. Now it was time though for the final course and she was eager to see what he had lined up for dessert.

“So let me guess, this dessert is going to somehow factor in those Montecarri things right?”

“What makes you say that, Swan?” Killian asked, amused at her question, but giving nothing away as he pulled some items from the cabinets. She was so distracted by his smirk she didn’t take stock of what he was gathering.

“Well this has been essentially a culinary tour of this country, and I hear Montecarris are the specialty to end all specialties. Seems fitting to include them.”

“Perhaps it would have been,” Killian hedged, his expression now the tiniest bit unsure. “But I actually had other plans.”

Emma was about to ask what they were when she looked down at the ingredients he’d brought out. Marshmallows, vanilla ice cream, and wait – was that chocolate chip cookie dough? If her eyes did not deceive her, that was chilled dough of a totally American staple, which also happened to be her favorite baked good bar none.

“Okay, I’m intrigued, what are you making?”

“Can’t you tell?” he asked curiously. “It’s your favorite. Well unless I’ve misunderstood.”

Killian explained his intention to bake these cookies and then to move outside to use the outdoor fireplace. He produced two perfect roasting sticks for marshmallows, and suddenly it dawned on her.

“Cookie s’mores,” Emma said in awe. They were her favorite summer treat, and as she looked closer at the dough she could see that there were graham cracker flakes in the mixture. Holy cow, he’d really done his homework for this one. “But how did you know?”

“My first week at the center, you were caught up in the children’s favorite game,” Killian said, alluding to how the kids loved to ask all of the adults about their favorite things. It had apparently been a staple since the older kids watched The Sound of Music. Now all of them loved compiling lists of favorite things as well as a list of things to try and to dream of one day seeing and doing. Thinking back though, Emma couldn’t understand how he would remember something like this. It was weeks ago, and it was such a small moment, but from her handful of words he’d created a road map to something thoughtful and perfect just for her. “You told them about this particular delicacy, and they were fascinated, as they are by damn near everything you say. I’ll admit, I had some trouble sourcing these graham crackers, though. They’re not a staple around here, but a lieutenant of mine from the navy can get anything from anywhere so I called in a favor.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Emma admitted. She found it hard in this moment not to cry, and the reasons for the feeling were all good. She was just a bit overwhelmed at how much he’d really been paying attention and how serious he was about making her happy. And it was working. She felt so good being with him, and for the first time in her life she was scared in a relationship, not because she didn’t want to trust, but because she didn’t want to let go.

“Perhaps you should save any declarations one way or another until after they’re made?” Killian teased and she knew he was looking for a smile, but she couldn’t just stop there. Instead she moved around the counter and pulled him in for a kiss, showing him how much this gesture meant to her in the scheme of an already beautiful night.

“Bloody hell,” he muttered when they came up for air. His eyes were filled with admiration and want, and she could see he was barely holding back, even as his cursed words sounded more like a prayer than anything else. Emma grinned and let out a low laugh as she ran her fingertips along his jaw.

“I think it’s safe to say that I love this, but just in case there was any doubt…” Emma said, and she purposefully left her meaning ambiguous. To him he might think it was just the s’mores she was discussing, but it was actually so much more. She loved being with him, on this date and just in general. She loved this snapshot he’d provided at a perfect quiet moment. And she loved the passion and the hope this man brought forth in her life so often. Despite yesterday’s uncertainty, she felt firmer in herself and in this new relationship than she ever had, and that was thanks to Killian and his kindhearted ways.

“You’ll never know what it means to me to hear that, love,” Killian admitted and she smiled at him once more. “I only hope you like the rest of the evening as much as you’ve enjoyed all this.”

And as they finalized things here in the house to make the rest of their dessert out back, Emma knew that she would enjoy whatever was coming down the pike. Because with Killian at the helm, she could have total faith in what was coming, and that feeling of safety and excitement that had been with her all evening would continue in the best and most wonderful way.

…………………

Sitting beside the outdoor flame, watching Emma laugh in the flickering fire light as she tried not to set her marshmallow ablaze, Killian knew he had never been more at peace.

Tonight was a revelation, just as many of his moments with Emma had been, but this was different. This time, Emma knew he was a Prince, and though he saw her eyes widen at the ostentatious gates and the vastness of this house, she never made him feel different or otherized. It may not be her norm, but there was no judgment from Emma or expectation. She had rallied and clearly chosen to be herself despite all of this, and that allowed him to do the same. It was a remarkable feeling, and a pleasure he never believed he could have as long as he lived here in Montennaro.

For the past few hours, Killian had done his best to memorize each moment. He kept tabs on all of Emma’s words and expressions. She was touched by his cooking for her, and though he was somewhat overwhelmed by all the things that could go wrong, she seemed to have complete faith in him. She also cherished all of their closer moments together, and he felt her wanting and the way it mirrored his own. There was so much brimming underneath the surface, a tantalizing knowledge that their chemistry was bound to combust sooner rather than later, but still he held back, savoring Emma the best way he knew how and trying to treat her to the perfect first date that she deserved. He wanted to carry all these little pieces of this evening with him for the rest of his days, even while dreaming of making a million more memories like this in the weeks and years to come.

Tonight had also solidified his hope for a future with Emma. He had known for some time that that he was in love with her. Interest and infatuation grew surely towards love early on for him, and now he cared for Emma in a way that would outlive his time on this earth. There was no denying how connected he was to her, and how enduring this bond he felt was becoming. She had his heart and his hopes tied so effortlessly around her, he stood no chance at getting either back again. But seeing her here, in his home, and in the place he was expected to build his future, changed something, taking things even further than they’d been before.

For the first time Killian could imagine Emma with him in his world. He could see a path for them to meet in the middle and to carve out a life they both could love. He had duties and responsibilities as Prince, some of which would require Emma’s participation if they continued to be together, but he would fight tooth and nail to give Emma everything she wanted and deserved outside of royal expectation. He couldn’t give her a fully normal existence, but he could give her love, support, and opportunity. He knew she’d want to work with the Institute still, and likely do even more for children all around the country and the world and he’d see to it that she could. He’d move mountains for her to help her feel fulfilled, because all he needed to feel that way was her. She was his home and his purpose, first date or not, and he prayed that someday she could see a home with him here. If not, he didn’t know what he’d do. All he knew was that living without her was not an option.

“You’re making that face again,” Emma said and Killian looked to her, grounding himself in the feeling of his hands on her lithe form as she turned their sugary treats until they were a perfect toasty brown.

He’d had his hands on her as much as he could tonight, and he was addicted to the feel of her. He did not know how he could go another day without touching her. Even a few hours felt too long a stretch. Emma soothed him and excited him at once, his heart raced but his demons stayed away. Feeling so much and having those feelings be good was something he’d never known before, but yes, sometimes worries crept in. He couldn’t help fearing that somehow she would leave him, and his hands were tied at the moment. He couldn’t tell her everything he felt so early on, but he’d never feel fully comfortable until he could. Still, the way she looked at him, like she knew him even better than he knew himself, should terrify him. Emma saw into his soul and could read him fully, scars and all. But instead of running from the attention like he did with anyone else, he was filled with pleasure. To know that she cared and that she was in this with him meant everything, and that eased the pain of his thoughts and worries being so obvious.

“What face is that love?” He feigned ignorance, though he knew exactly what she was getting at.

“The one you get when I’m leaving, or when you’re worried that I will,” Emma said, pulling out her golden treat from the fire and offering it to him. He absentmindedly took it as she continued on. “You had it yesterday at the parade, and then before we talked. Sometimes you get a version of it at the Center when it’s time to say goodbye, or when our tasks take us different directions for the day. Actually, now that I think about it, it’s a pretty persistent expression.”

“I’m not a fan of being parted from you,” Killian admitted and Emma looked at him with a softness in his eyes that spoke to understanding.

“That makes two of us. But luckily we’ve still got time, right?”

_We have forever_ , he thought to himself but he bit the words back as he nodded and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

From there they managed to create Emma’s favorite summer sweet, and he had to admit that it was delicious, especially when he tasted it on Emma every time he stole a kiss. It was decadent but simple, and though s’mores were not a custom here in Montenarro, he felt young again. Like a kid in the summer months. It was peaceful and rejuvenating, and he wanted to extend that as much as he could.

“What are your thoughts on stargazing, love?” he asked, and Emma looked surprised before casting her eyes above.

“I haven’t had much chance to do it, honestly. We’ve always been city people so the light makes it hard to see. But out here… wow, I didn’t realize just how much you can see.”

“This is nothing,” he said, standing up and tugging at her hand. “Here, let me show you.”

As they left the stone walkway, Killian grabbed a nearby lantern, lighting the flame so they’d have enough light to guide their way. With languid steps the two of them walked from the fireside down a path in the back greenery. It was dimly lit with tiny lights along the path on the ground, but by now the sun had long since set and the night was out around them. Only the pale yellow glow of their lantern cast anything substantial enough to help them see. Emma held his hand tightly, and he checked to make sure she was comfortable. Her expression, even in the dim light, told him everything he needed to know. She was excited for this, and unbothered by the darkness they needed to get through to see the sea of stars.

Soon enough they came upon the back villa, a structure meant to house any guests, which had long been dormant. Since Killian was not here, he’d had no visitors, but someday he hoped that would change. What the house did boast, however, was something essential for stargazing, and he was glad he’d had the foresight to pull it out before Emma’s arrival.

“Wow,” Emma said when their seating area came into view. “That’s some telescope.”

“One thing you’ll learn about my brother is he does nothing by half. I mentioned the stars once when home for a deployment and the next day this was in my rooms. I had no real need of it at the palace, so I had it brought here. Needless to say, it’s a bit more powerful than anything I might have expected.”

“Henry would love this,” Emma said and Killian warmed at the mention of her son. Her boy was special to be sure, and even though he’d only met him yesterday, he knew Emma was right. Henry would take great joy in learning about something like this, and Killian felt a strong need to be the one to teach him how.

“He’s welcome any time, love. You and he both. You know that.”

Emma nodded, running her fingertips across the telescope thoughtfully. Killian knew she was thinking of that possibility, and he saw no signs of discomfort on her face. She just appeared to be thinking about what that might be like and what it would mean to bring her son to this place. Eventually Emma looked at him again, and when she did there was a light in her green eyes not provided by the lantern or the nearly full moon. It was something else, something warm and wonderful. A moment passed where there was so much left unsaid, but then she smiled and asked him to show her what to do. He was eager to do so, finding with relative ease all the big constellations and visible planets on this clear, summer’s night.

“Which constellation means the most to you?” Emma asked. He noticed that she hadn’t asked which one was his favorite. She had purposefully worded her query with the intention of understanding him. Tonight they both wanted to learn as much as they could about each other. It had been a theme throughout dinner and beyond, and for the first time he felt able to give that openness to someone. She may not realize how much this particular question meant, but he wanted to share it all the same.

“Aquila,” he replied, aiming the telescope to where it should be in the inky night sky. It took a few moments, but he found it sure enough, and he passed the scope to Emma with careful fingers so as not to move the lens. She took it in, looking at the stars, some brighter than others. She wouldn’t be able to see the design, or the lines that star maps always filled in, but that wasn’t important. It was the story behind this choice that mattered.

“It’s beautiful,” Emma said quietly. “What does it mean to you?”

“Aquila is the eagle constellation, part of the Herculean star systems. You can see the wings up top, and the bulk of the body below,” Emma nodded, her eyes staying trained in the telescope, giving him a bit more time to rein in his feelings before carrying on. “Aquila has long been associated with warriors, and so being in the navy, that connection always drew some attention. But it’s not the only fighting symbol. It’s not the strongest or most dominant. Most people who know of stars appreciate the constellation, yet cite others as more impressive or important.”

“But not you,” Emma said, looking back at him and coming to sit beside him on the outside lounger. Her hand came back to his and she gave a soft squeeze, pushing him forward.

“My affinity for this particular constellation has to do with the number in the grouping itself. There are ten stars in the assemblage.” He took a steadying breath and said the rest. “The same amount of sailors I’ve lost on my watch.”

Killian took another pause, steadying himself as the faces of those soldiers graced his memory. Despite the effects of time, he remembered each one of them, and sadly he vividly recalled their passings too. None had been easy losses, almost all had been in active combat, and most never had real resolutions. The killers got away, or were untraceable. There was no avenging these fallen brothers and sisters, there was only forward motion. Survival dictated they all carry on, but Killian’s heart required that he carry the fallen with him. He would not let them be forgotten. Indeed, the smallest thing he could do was see them in the stars each night.

“On a ship or on deployment, there are lots of open spaces. The night sky is a constant. Clouds may come, and so does fighting, but if you live through the day, the stars remain. They teach all sailors in the royal navy about the stars. Navigating by them might not be necessary anymore, but it’s a skill we’re expected to harness. The stars were also familiar. I had gazed upon them as a boy, not so unlike tonight. Liam and I used to enjoy such things, in the summer especially. For a long time, when I saw the stars, I thought of home. I thought of my family, and I took strength from that.

“But as much as the stars were a comfort, they were also witness to some of the worst moments of my life. When I experienced real fear and real loss in the field the first time, it was dark out, the peak of night, where stars are brightest. We were ambushed, a number of us were wounded, and we lost a life. Lieutenant Smee was nearly finished with the service. He had three weeks left, but death doesn’t respect such things.”

As he remembered that first lost, Killian still felt the weight of that realization. He’d known going into the service that risk was a part of things, but it made it all so much more real to have someone die in front of him. At that time he couldn’t understand why things happened that way, and he’d felt completely unmoored from any concept of a higher power. If endings were arbitrary and life came crashing down so unexpectedly all the time, what did that mean for the rest of them? What were they fighting for? And was any of it worth it?

“The next night I couldn’t sleep. I felt too much guilt,” he explained, looking down at Emma’s hands on him and using that as a lifeline in these murky feelings from his past. “We were sleeping and a man was dead, a family was broken, a dream was erased. I looked at the stars all night. This time I felt my ties back home and I also saw the scars I was forming. But even still, every night thereafter I looked at them. Loss came at any time, under the night sky, in a rainstorm, or in the blazing sun. Every time it did, I added a face to see. Soon I had enough to merit picking a specific group. At one time I prayed I would never come to need Aquila, and when I did need it, I prayed to never need another. Ten souls lost was ten too many.”

By now Emma was wrapped up beside him, her embrace having grown more supportive as he continued on, and despite the weight of the memories, he didn’t feel overwhelmed. There wasn’t darkness in full. It was like the sky tonight. There was deep, obscure patches, but light overall. That’s what Emma did for him. She lit him up and made his world so much brighter in the process. It also helped that as he continued on, telling stories of the people he’d lost she never flinched. She sat there calmly, attentively, and supportively. She held him, and when he felt he could say no more tonight she looked at him, with unshed tears and true affection that helped him feel like everything might be okay.

“That was the first time you’ve told anyone any of this, wasn’t it?” he nodded. She curled up closer to him, quietly telling him that she knew how much that meant.

“Aye, but it won’t be the last. I’ve made arrangements to meet with a naval counselor. I never intended to, but today I made the call.”

“What changed your mind?” she asked, clearly glad for his choice but holding off on her opinion.

“You,” he said honestly. “I would really like the chance to be in your life, Emma. You and Henry both. I hope I’ve made that clear by now, but I need to know for myself that I can give you everything I want safely. I still have nightmares and bad moments. I have scars as you now realize, and I want to understand them so I can be better for you, and for me.”

“You’re already more than enough, Killian.” Again she cupped his face, looking at him with what could only be described as love. Whether it was said or unsaid, Killian knew that Emma loved him, and that she was proud of him, despite everything he’d seen and done. It humbled him to feel that, and he knew he could never go another day without it. She was everything and so much more. “As someone who has needed help for my own demons though, I know how good it will be to tell someone else your stories. I used to be so afraid about being enough for Henry, about messing him up because of what I’d been through. I know you know the basics, but the truth is I was in in more than a dozen placements in sixteen years, and that kind of constant change and upheaval and rejection takes a toll on a kid.”

Killian could not imagine how anyone could meet Emma and not want to keep her. To think of all the places that she’d landed that didn’t fight for her, that didn’t realize what a good and honest person she was made him sick. He knew she’d been through agony as a child, but he never imagined it could be so bleak.

“When I finally split, I still couldn’t find roots, no matter how hard I tried. I was desperate for them. I had no money and nowhere to go. I just… wandered. I’d have given anything for a family or even just friends, but I didn’t trust anyone enough to really let them in. I just needed to survive, and I couldn’t get to a stable enough place to feel like I could take a breath, never mind live a real life. Neal was the first person who helped me, and I made an exception for him. I let him past my walls, and I trusted in him.”

It wasn’t easy to hear Emma speak of a past love, but the look in her eyes told him there was no lingering emotion for this man he knew was Henry’s father. She may have loved him at one time, but that love was now gone. There wasn’t anger or hurt either, there was just calm, like she’d already made peace with every part of this sad story. 

“It was good between us for a while, and I was young and I wanted to love and be loved. As soon as I let him in, that was it. He had my loyalty and my heart. I’d have done anything for him. I thought he could be that connection I was needing, but my desperation clouded my judgment. I couldn’t see what was right in front of me. I knew he wasn’t always on the right side of the law, but he always did right by me. I could see past his choices because he loved me and because he did these things for us. That’s what he always said, ‘I’m doing this for us.’ He also never involved me, and he made me feel protected. The world was a rough place, but we’d make it through. He’d get us through, that’s what he said. By the time I realized what kind of man he really was though, everything had gone wrong. He got caught stealing all sorts of shit, and he ran. Not only did he run, he tried to set me up for what he did to get the heat off of him. I almost went to prison. Not jail, but prison, for grand theft.”

Killian could understand more and more now why she had felt extra sensitive to the differences between them. As a Prince, his life and the lives of his loved ones would be under scrutiny always. She probably worried he would hear this and resent it, but he never could. He was livid at the fact that a man had ever hurt Emma this way, that he’d been coward enough to let her take the fall. But he was stunned at her perseverance. Somehow she’d gotten through that, and he was awed by the strength such growth must take.

“The only reason I was let go and my arrest was never recorded was because a good Samaritan called into the cops and provided my alibi. I had been in the park all day, studying for the last of my tests I needed to pass my GED. She and her dog were out there and the dog got off leash. I helped her wrangle the little guy at the same time as the robbery clear across the city. With her testimony they had nothing on me, and they realized they were going to charge me with something I had nothing to do with. I was let go, but yet again I was left with nothing. I had to start over again and it was so hard to do. Then a few months later I realized I was pregnant with Henry. I was so scared. I really didn’t think I could do it, but my state sponsored counselor ended up being a great help. She got me on the road to making things better, and she helped me see the circumstances of my life were out of my control. She said something I thought was unique, but it’s something I hear Anna say to the kids all the time at the center.”

“All you can do is the next right thing,” Killian echoed, and Emma nodded.

“I don’t think I always get it right, but I try to, and looking back I can honestly say that I’m proud of the last ten years. It wasn’t always easy, but we are here and here is…” Emma’s face colored with a soft, thoughtful smile and he could tell that she was thinking of her boy and how their life together was. Killian couldn’t help but feel tremendous pride in Emma and awe at all she had done. She was truly a survivor, and it was clear that the choices she’d made since then had all been guided by a want to do right by herself and by her son.

“Here is…?” Killian hedged, wanting to hear her put it into words. Now her eyes met his and they flickered, turning warm and sultry.

“Here is proving to be better and better, in no small part because of you.”

It was difficult to tell which of them started the kiss they shared then, but Killian savored every moment of it. They were out there together, under the stars and enjoying the quiet peace here away from the world. He wanted to get lost in it, to hold Emma tight from this point on and never have to pull back. Before their evening began he’d already envisioned his future lay with Emma, but now he could see it all here. The two of them together, choosing each other, building a life. Henry was here, and maybe someday other children. He’d be with his family, but they’d live on their own. He didn’t know how, but he felt that he could. He could craft a story for them here, and he just prayed that Emma felt inclined to do the same. Her actions tonight stoked that hope, and the taste of her kiss and the feel of her hands on him revived anything that he’d lost in his recent journey back through the past. Soon enough he was restored, feeling better than he ever had, and content that after so long he truly had found everything that he wanted.

“I wish this night never had to end,” Emma said wistfully some time later. Her lips swollen from their interlude and her golden hair bearing a slightly different shape from where his fingers had twined through. She was more beautiful than ever, here under the moonlight and in the lantern’s golden glow. And though they’d done nothing more than typical first date customs would allow, Killian would never know. He’d never felt so satisfied, and he shuttered to think of what he’d feel when they truly came together.

“I feel the same, love, but I promise – ehrm rather, I hope – that it won’t be the last.”

He shouldn’t have been so presumptuous as to assume she’d want another date with him. Of course he felt her desire and her want to be with him, but this situation was different than most other couples giving things a try. Perhaps she would realize she didn’t actually want to date a prince, undeniable attraction be damned. But God if she ended this then –

Before his thoughts could spiral, Emma pulled him for another searing kiss, one that left no room for outside worries or despair. There was only Emma, and god she was a wonder. He was dizzy from her by the time they broke apart, and his heart lurched at the seductive smile she tossed his way.

“Any chance you’re free on Tuesday?” Emma asked, filling his heart with relief before adding an even sweeter sensation directly thereafter. “Henry’s going straight from camp to dinner at a friend’s house but he’ll back for dessert. We’re having…” she trailed off and blushed and now Killian was too curious to be polite.

“What is it love?”

“Apple pie and ice cream.”

“How endearingly American.”

“I swear we’re doing our best to immerse ourselves, but sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants,” she said with a shrug and he chuckled, running his hand along her cheek and watching her green eyes darken with the immediate interest that flared once more.

“I can think of nothing I’d like more than to see you and Henry again, love. Dessert sounds divine, whatever is on the menu.”

“And dinner?” she asked, licking her lips and making him want another taste even though he’d had one just moments ago.

“If you’ll place your trust in me, I have just the spot in mind. It’s in the city, and we’ll be assured of total privacy.”

“Perfect,” she whispered, leaning into him as they stood and as he took her hand, leading her down the outdoor path once more.

And though it hurt to say goodbye when he drove her back home, so much so that Killian couldn’t bear to say the words, opting instead for a ‘See you soon, Swan’ and a final stolen kiss, he was comforted in knowing that this night was not the end. Instead, it was a beautiful beginning, one his instincts told him would lead him to the best moments of his life for now and always.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it – another CS first date in the books. I hope that you have enjoyed this chapter. For me it was a real relief to write this, both because I wanted to get to this moment, but also because I crafted it in the midst of a maddeningly busy part of my program. The good news is I have moved to my final stage and successfully passed, so I’ll soon be out of the thick of my crazy time consuming studies. Still, I may be sporadically posting for a little bit as I settle into my new normal post-school. All that being said, this chapter helped me destress and surround myself in fluff, even while dealing with some harder issues in Emma and Killian’s pasts. Please rest assured that Emma and Killian move forward from this moment with nothing but hope and good vibes. My plan for this fic has always been about 12 chapters, and I think I will land right there when all is said and done, and I promise to get back to this fic as soon as I can. In the meantime, I appreciate all of you so much for your continued support and kind words. They mean so much to me and I carry them always. Thanks again and hope you have a great rest of your weekend!!_ **


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Hello everyone! So I have been on a nice long break from writing over the past month or so, and please believe it was not by choice. I am still feeling a high level of burn out from school and from 2020 in general and I just couldn’t seem to sit down and write. Instead I have been trying to relax and enjoy the end of summer and this beginning of fall. Luckily, this week brought my muse back into focus, and I was able to get more of this chapter on the page that I have been building to for a long time. As I promised, the angst of this story is now behind us, but the intrigue is not exactly over. This chapter shows some still remaining pieces of the puzzle beginning to fall into place. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and I really hope you enjoy this new installment!_ **

The dreaminess of a Montenarran morning was hard to describe to someone who had never experienced one before. The magic of this place hung in the air, dancing on the coastal breeze and glistening through that perfect Mediterranean mix of sun and spirit. The golden hues that lit up the world here were different than the paler lights Emma and Henry knew back home, and the crystal blue waters were nothing like the Long Island Sound or the harbors in New York.

Other places in this corner of the world must share similar splendor. People loved visiting Spain and Italy and Greece for a reason, and perhaps Emma was merely untraveled and so could not really compare this place to those, but in her estimation she and Henry had yet to face a less than stellar day in this beautiful country. Somehow, through a higher, stronger power, the weather always held, and the mood was always happy. People were calm but vibrant, kind and filled with purpose. It made for a delicious melody of life that pierced the soul with the same humming happiness of a favorite lullaby. This tangible energy was a constant here, and in meant that even a normal walk from one point to another was enjoyable. In short, every day here felt remarkable, and this morning was no exception.

“Do you really think everyone will like my surprise, Mom?” Henry asked, filling in the comfortable silence that hung between them on their stroll from their home to the Center. “I know you said that everyone loves to try new things, but maybe this isn’t as great an idea as I thought.”

Emma turned her gaze from the bustling street they were walking on to her son, who for the first time in a long time looked younger than his years and moderately hesitant. She tried not to chuckle in the face of Henry’s anxiousness, as that would not be kind, but she wished she could tell him just how unfounded his worries were. Henry’s intended surprise for the children at the Center today was going to be well received. In fact, Emma anticipated it would start an institute-wide revolution.

“Believe me, kid, they’re going to love it. They ask me all the time about what things are like in America; the movies, the food, the sports. They’re going to love learning about baseball, I guarantee it.”

Henry nodded, resuming a more assured nature as they continued down the street. He was so cute and determined like this, and Emma wished she could capture this moment in time and freeze it so she could remember it always. In a few years Henry would be a teenager, but for now he was still at that place in childhood where the world was filled with only hope and good and possibility.

In the interest of sharing those good vibes with others, Henry was bringing everything needed to teach the kids about America’s favorite pastime. He carried his whiffle ball bat slung over his shoulder, and a bag of plastic balls in a sack in his other hand. It felt like a miracle to have these silly simple things from home, but to get these items shipped to Montenarro had taken some finessing and plenty of help from Mr. and Mrs. H. It was no exaggeration to say that Mrs. Hubbard had moved mountains for her favorite neighbors in shipping these supplies, and when they finally arrived, they came with the most beautiful note, and a reminder from their dear landlady to soak in every moment and follow their hearts. They’d been speaking with Mr. and Mrs. H each week on Facetime, but these words still made an impact, both for Emma and her son. Now Emma was thrilled to see Henry follow his passion and lead an activity at a place she loved so surely with kids who meant so much to her,

“Do you think Cecelia will want to play?” Henry asked, singling out the child Emma had a special bond to. Henry’s own personal fondness for the little girl rang out in his voice, and the question was sincere and sweet. Over the now many times Henry had come to the center, he had grown attached to Cecelia too, and he was always bringing her into things, even if he spent most of his time with the older kids. Those actions and their bond touched Emma’s heart, and always left her with this ache in her chest like these few moments shared all together were not enough.

“I think Cecelia will do absolutely anything that you deem cool.”

“Yeah, and if we get Killian to play she’ll totally join.” Emma laughed at the undeniably accurate assumption. It was true after all, for as much as Cecelia had bonded to Emma, she’d grown just as close and comfortable with Killian too. It was so good to see how energetic and extroverted she’d become in the last three months. Little Cecelia was truly coming into her own, and growing more confident each and every day.

“Didn’t Killian tell you he would play last night?”

“Oh yeah. He promised me, and Killian never breaks a promise.”

Emma was aware of that and in the two months since they’d had their first date, she had only grown more invested in their relationship because of this tendency. It was insane that it had only been two months, given how much she felt for him, but at the same time they were so lucky to have had all this time without public interruption. For the moment, she and Killian were still keeping things private. No one in the press or outside the bubbles of their little world knew, but at the Center, and on their own time, they never lived in hiding. They saw each other nearly every day, both at work and at his or her home, and Emma had seen Killian on more one-on-one dates as well as outings and evenings with Henry. It had all been so natural that, honestly, Emma was prone to forgetting that he was a prince. To her he was just the man she loved fiercely, who made her feel like anything was possible.

_I need to tell him how I really feel soon,_ she thought to herself as she and Henry made it to the front gate of the Institute.

This was hardly the first time she’d thought this. She had known for some time how she felt and what she wanted, but there were still a few key things that were up in the air. For one thing, her position at the Center, and thus in the country, still had a time stamp. She thought that Marco and Marie may offer her a chance to stay on in a few months, but it was by no means a definite. Also, making such a permanent change would have huge implications for her and Henry. The plan had always been to go back to New York, but if she was transparent with her feelings, Emma could admit that New York no longer felt like home. In a very short time Montennaro had taken root in her and Henry’s hearts and it felt like the place they were always supposed to be.

Then there was also the little matter of Killian’s family, who Emma was told knew of her, but whom she had never met. Even now, she didn’t know how she felt about that. On one hand she was glad that they hadn’t crossed that bridge yet, because meeting his family would no doubt be stressful and have all this weight and expectation. But on the other hand, Emma was really feeling like this was a forever kind of love, and so she had to meet them someday, right?

“Well if it isn’t my two favorite Yankees,” a voice called out from behind the gate. Emma and Henry looked to find Anna who was waiting for them with a huge smile and her hands on her hips. “See what I did there, because baseball. Wait, did I do it right? Elsa, are the Yankees baseball?”  
  


“How should I know?” Elsa joked from across the lawn before gesturing to Emma and Henry. “Ask them.”

“It was a solid pun,” Henry agreed, “But we’re actually Mets fans.”

“Mets?” Anna asked, looking to Emma for confirmation. A soft tug from Henry told Emma to play it cool, so she kept her poker face in check. “What on earth is a Met?”

“It’s another, way worse, baseball team in New York. But don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Yankees all the way.”

“You may look like an angel, Henry, but there’s a rascal spirit in you,” Anna said with feigned huffiness. Now Elsa laughed full out, prompting smiles from the rest of them at her genuine joy.

“Anna should know about rascal spirits; she was chastised for having one by our Grand-mère for years.”

“That’s a fancy way to say grandmother right?” Henry asked eagerly. “Like in that movie with the missing Princess we saw. _Anastasia_ , right Mom?”

Emma nodded, but she couldn’t help but notice the way both of her friends went pale at the mention of the film. Elsa mumbled something about Anastasia technically being a duchess while Anna barked out a quick mention of it being a French custom. What was with her friends and these weird moments any time someone probed about their pasts or lives beyond the Center? Emma didn’t know, but she didn’t have time to linger with the curiosity, for at that moment they made their way inside and were greeted with a swarm of kids, all of them clamoring to see Henry again. Emma laughed outright at everyone’s excitement and said hello to all of the cuties who greeted her too, but before long, her eyes were called across the room, landing on a man she’d been missing for the last 12 or so hours.

“Good morning, love,” Killian said, coming forward and taking her hand before pressing a kiss atop it. It was their little routine now, his way of saying hello when they were surrounded by the kids.

“Long time no see,” Emma said, trying to sound sarcastic but failing miserably. The wry grin that pulled at Killian’s lips made her heart race as he whispered his reply.

“Trust and believe it’s been torture for me too, Swan. But tonight I’ll have you alone once more.”

The promise in his words made her tremble slightly, and she hoped he wouldn’t catch on to how affected she was, but he definitely tracked it, smiling once more and pressing a kiss to her cheek before diving into the morning with the kids. The two of them got caught up in all of it, and having Henry there as well only added to the good times. Unfortunately, they only had about an hour of this bliss before things went off the rails.

It started with a phone call, which was hardly unusual for a placement home, but the call did draw some notice as this was a weekend. Emma wondered if this was an intake request for a new child, but when Marco and Marie departed to take the call, she threw herself back into the morning rush. About five minutes later, however, she watched as both of them emerged with Marie looking pale as a ghost, and even the unflappable Marco looking surprised.

“What do you think is going on there?” Elsa asked, and Emma shrugged, completely unsure. Things only grew stranger when Marco called Killian over to speak with him. Now Emma’s heckles were up. Was everything okay? No sooner had she thought that then Anna appeared, darting from the back hall looking flushed and flustered.

“They’re coming!” Her words were loud and automatically the other adults in the room and a few kids shushed her for the outburst.

“Who’s coming?” Emma and Elsa asked at the same time, quietly inquiring so as not to rile the children.

“Killian’s family.”

“You’re kidding,” Elsa said forcefully as Emma’s jaw dropped. When Anna shook her head, Elsa continued. “Oh my God you’re serious?”

“Heard the whole thing when Marco left the office door open. They’ve just left the castle. King Liam, and the two dowager Queens. It’s about to be a very full, and incredibly fancy, house.”

“Oh my God,” Emma said, her voice more a raw squeak than anything else. Fear began to descend, and her eyes looked at Killian across the room. She expected to see a similar sense of dread or panic, but he was… calm. As in completely and totally unphased.

“Do you think he knew?” Anna asked, obviously seeing the same sense of cool that their resident Prince was donning in this moment.

“No,” Emma said with confidence. “He actually told me last night that he wanted to introduce us all soon. He mentioned the Montecarri festival in a two weeks. He said Henry would love the palace’s party. I didn’t give him a real answer, but…”

“But you were going to say yes.”

“Yeah,” Emma agreed, exhaling a shaky breath. At that moment the conversation between Marco and Killian finished, and immediately Killian’s eyes found hers. Silently they exchanged a mountain of words, and both of them knew they had to touch base, so with a quick goodbye to her friends, Emma moved towards him, finding a quiet alcove away from the others.

“Let me guess, Anna’s somehow heard and told you everything.”

“Pretty much,” Emma said with a nod. “Are you okay?”

“Aye. I’m strangely relieved. They’ve all been asking me for ages about this place, and about you, I’ve tried to tell them, but nothing compares to the real thing.”

“This will change things,” Emma said anxiously but Killian’s hand came to cup her face in a reassuring gesture she had no choice but to lean into.

“Nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you, love. I won’t lie and say my family isn’t prone to over-involvement, but they’re harmless, and I swear to you they’ll love you. Who could resist loving you, Emma?”

Her heart sped up so much at his words but all she could do was kiss him. It immediately helped ground her and made her feel better, but too over it was soon, as Killian pulled back, still holding her but putting a little distance between them. Her brow furrowed in question until she heard it.

“Hi Mom, Hi Killian.” Henry. Oh thank God Killian had heard him coming. She did not need to be scarring her kid with some hot and heavy, stress-induced PDA. Looking over to her son, Emma noticed Cecelia holding Henry’s hand tight. She looked a little bit unsure, and Emma immediately shifted her focus. Whatever was wrong she wanted to fix it. “We saw you guys head over here. Is everything okay?”

“Aye, lad. Just a bit of a plan change. You know how you asked about when you and your Mum might meet my family?” Henry nodded. This was news to Emma, but she kept quiet, intrigued to watch Henry’s reaction. “Well it turns out they’re coming here today.”

“They are?” Henry asked excitedly. “That’s so cool! I can’t wait to meet them. Maybe they’ll stick around for the baseball game!”

“Me too?” Cecelia asked, her free hand coming to cover her mouth in a shy gesture that made the words a bit more mumbled.

“Aye, little lass, you too,” Killian said brightly. This prompted a big smile from Cecelia who ran over to Killian and threw herself into him. Instinctively he picked her up, and Emma swore she felt tears in her eyes. God so much was happening right now, but this moment felt especially important.

The next few minutes were filled with Henry’s palpable excitement, and Emma decided to hold onto that as her own apprehension grew. They returned to the main room with the others, who had all been told of their soon to be arriving guests, and the reactions of the children were mixed. They all seemed to be in awe of such an arrival, but all it took was one reminder that these were Killian’s family members, and everyone calmed down. The little boys especially went on and on about how Killian might be a prince but he was mostly their friend. He played pirates with them, and he was their pal, and they had to believe his family must be just as wonderful. Emma would never bring it up, but she watched as Killian wiped away a few stray tears at their compliments. Unknowingly, this had prompted a center-wide affirmation of how much Killian was loved and appreciated, and it was touching to say the least.

Shortly thereafter, a fleet of cars, including a palace limo, arrived and the hush that settled over everyone was instantaneous. There was rarely any quiet in this place, but in this moment the anticipation manifested into total silence. Even the tiniest babies in the home were still and through the window they all watched as Queen Meera, Queen Eleanor, and finally King Liam left the confines of the automobile and headed into the front hall. Marco and Killian were set to greet them, and Emma could see how relieved Marie was to not be part of this welcoming party. Going off of how agitated she was when Killian came the first time, Emma could only imagine the pressure of three royals at once.

“It’s going to be fine, right, Els?” Anna whispered and Emma looked back to her friends. Elsa was currently holding one of the infant babies, a lovely little joy named Ariana who had arrived a few weeks ago. Though she too was agitated, Emma could see Elsa taking comfort in the affectionate baby, and she finally turned her more grounded gaze to her sister.

“Of course it is,” Elsa confirmed. “It was a long time ago, Anna.”

“A lifetime ago,” Anna agreed with a nod. Then she noticed Emma looking at them. She appeared torn between saying more and playing it off like nothing happened, but then Elsa took her hand.

“We can trust Emma, Anna, and we do. We’ll tell her everything when they’ve gone, okay? No more secrets. Not between true friends.”

Anna and Emma nodded at Elsa’s request and then the movement of their guests into the main room called everyone’s attention. Emma had been momentarily distracted from any kind of worry, but now, seeing Killian’s family in the flesh, she was surprised. Oh they were beautiful and regal and poised to be sure, but they were also dressed in a much more approachable way than she’d expected. There were no gowns or crowns or anything like that. They’d clearly made adjustments to come here, and if she didn’t know better, she’d think all of them completely normal people.

_They probably are normal, they just live a completely abnormal life,_ she thought to herself.

It was impossible to not compare this meeting to the holiday parade, the first time Emma had seen all of them in person, but immediately it felt like an incomparable set of circumstances. The three people gathered here may be the same, but their sense of approachability was so different. At the precision they’d been decked out in their finest ensembles, designed to look like royalty who may care for the people, but who ultimately stood apart. Today, they could have been any attractive, well dressed family. Queen Meera and Queen Eleanor especially carried themselves with genuine smiles and eagerness, looking upon the children with affection and excitement. Emma also noticed their continued glances at her and Elsa and Anna, but both women were able to tamp down any outright staring.

King Liam, however was another story. He may not look the part of reining monarch per-se, but his stance was so formal and still a bit too stiff to seem comfortable. He had dressed down for the moment, something Emma was sure he rarely did, and while there was curiosity in his gaze, she wouldn’t say he had the same soft affection for the children. If anything, the King looked intimidated, as if he’d never seen so many little people in one place before. That made Emma’s heart warm to him, but it couldn’t even begin to compare with the next moment that came.

“Hi, Killy’s family,” Cecelia said eagerly, the L’s sounding more like a w in her excitement. In an instant, she stepped away from Henry’s hand with a smile and approached Liam, Eleanor and Meera without fear. They’d all been caught in a kind of quiet moment where no introductions had yet to be made, and Cecelia, it seemed, had no patience for that. She was taking matters into her own tiny hands. “I’s found these for you.”

“Oh my dear, how precious you are,” Meera said crouching low to accept the flower. Emma saw they were all wildflowers from the back way, and she wondered how Cecelia had had the forethought to do this. Then she looked at Henry, and she realized this was a joint effort. Damn, her son was as thoughtful and cute as could be.

“Thank you, little one,” Eleanor said happily as she took her flower. “So very kind of you to give us a gift.”

When Cecelia came to Liam and gave him the flower, Emma watched the large man begin to crumble, and a smile formed on his face. Just as with Killian, it was amazing what a smile did for his features. King Liam was handsome already, as Emma expected any man born into this family would be, but when smiling, he looked younger and even more engaging. It felt very much like a rare occurrence, and it brought tears to Emma’s eyes to know Cecelia had faced her own fears to help all of them feel welcome.

From there, Killian accepted a tight hug from Cecelia before introducing them all to his family. The kids, having watched the kindness given to Cecelia, were immediately more comfortable, and just as when Killian first arrived, a sea of questions broke out. But in the midst of that madness, a rather remarkable moment happened. It began with Liam looking at her, and in an instant Emma knew that he knew who she was. They exchanged a nod, an acknowledgement that they’d be better introduced later, but when Liam shifted his focus beside her, his face totally changed. Something like awe and fascination appeared across his features, and Emma looked to see what could be the cause, only to find Elsa with the same starstruck response.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Emma asked Anna and her friend nodded.

“If what you’re seeing is the King falling in love with my sister at first sight, then yeah, I think we’re all seeing that.”

“Anna,” Elsa said, flushing with embarrassment as she turned to both of them. “It’s not love at first sight.”

“I don’t know, Els, unless you guys have met before, I think Anna might have a point.”

Emma didn’t know if it was her insistence that there was some real chemistry sparking, or the insinuation that they’d met before that threw Elsa, but suddenly she was overcome with emotions and was saved by the baby, so to speak, when Ariana began fussing for some food. Never had anyone looked so grateful to escape, which just made things weirder and weirder. Emma looked back to the King and watched as he closely monitored Elsa’s movements. He appeared to be seconds away from following her when Killian grabbed his arm and redirected him to the kids. A tightness came to Liam’s features, but then he relented and joined the larger group. Henry was in the mix there, and Emma felt her heart in her throat. God, she hoped these people could accept her son. Whether or not they liked her meant less to her. The most important thing in her world was Henry.

As if he could sense her worry, Killian chose that moment to step to Henry, his arm on his shoulder as he further introduced him. Emma could hear the introduction of Henry as Emma’s son, and immediately all of Killian’s relatives looked intrigued and excited. Emma noticed that they paid him some extra attention, and when Killian looked back at her with a grin, she wondered if she should join them. Was this the right moment to do this? She couldn’t be sure. There were so many other people around. It might be a little odd, right? But in the end, it wasn’t entirely up to her.

“All right, everyone. I know we are all eager to greet our guests today, but we have many other things that must be done.”

“You mean like eating lunch?” one boy asked and everyone laughed.

“Joseph, you’ve only just had breakfast an hour ago. No I was thinking more along the lines of getting out into the sunshine and seizing the day. Seems a marvelous day for adventure, what do you all think?”

All of the children were eager for a day in the sunshine, even the older kids who sometimes lacked for enthusiasm. With barely restrained exuberance, everyone made their way outside, and in the meantime, people broke apart in groups to do different things. Emma was assigned to the gardens where some outdoor games had been set up, and where a group of kids were out ‘bug hunting.’ It was so funny to watch these kids trying to collect all of these different kinds of insects, especially since she herself didn’t care for bugs. That fancy had never appealed to her at any age, and there were a few kids who heartily agreed. Cecelia was one of them, and instead of engaging with the bugs, she was far more interested in talking about her latest obsession – fairies.

A fierce devotion to these magical, mythical creatures was not something Cecelia alone carried. There were half a dozen little girls who had all glommed onto imaginary games and elaborate stories about faeries over the last few weeks. It all started with a book that Emma read one rainy afternoon, an offshoot of the Peter Pan story wholly focused on the tiny magic wielders. She hadn’t thought much of it when she chose it off the library shelf, but all of the kids at story time had been spellbound, even the boys, and the older girls who had already gone through a similar phase. The interest in faeries had only grown from there. Soon the little girls were asking every adult at the Center for any information they could get on faeries, and the tidbits they’d been given were equal parts funny and adorable.

“Did you know that faeries protect the garden?” Cecelia asked Emma and Emma shook her head.

“I didn’t realize that. But it makes sense, faeries love flowers, right?”

“They do, they do! Just like me.”

“And me too!” a number of the other girls chorused.

“Miss Emma, Cook said that faeries can be mi-mi -michevus,” Evangeline, another little girl noted and Emma bit back a smile at the girl’s inability to say mischievous. Still, at her age, that was a very tall order. “What does that mean?”

“It means that while usually faeries are perfectly behaved, sometimes they cause a little trouble.”

“Like when they moved the special stone in the story and hid it from Peter?”

“Exactly. No one got hurt, but it wasn’t the nicest thing to hide the stone, was it?”

The girls all agreed with that, before a newcomer caught their eyes. Emma followed their gaze to see Queen Meera at the edge of the gardens, having taken a tour of the whole outdoor space. She was smiling at all of them, her beauty really something to behold in the midday sun. Again, Emma was struck by how young the Queen appeared when she had two grown sons, but instead of being intimidated, Emma rallied and offered a welcoming hello.

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but hear you all speaking of faeries, and I was wondering, have you all found a faerie kingdom here yet?”

“A faerie kingdom?!” They all asked excitedly, and Queen Meera patiently explained a Montennaran legend that hadn’t yet been shared with the children.

“How many of you have heard about Montecarri magic?”

Some of the girls chattered that they had heard, but from the looks on their faces, Emma could tell none of them knew very much about it. Cecelia meanwhile was completely unaware, and all of them looked desperate for more information. Queen Meera sat down beside them on their blanket as she continued.

“Well as you know, Montecarris are very delicious, yes?” The children nodded. “And they’re very important to Montennaro because they only grow here. But montecarri bushes are not our only special plant. We also have trees that only grows within our borders. They’re called Montecarri Dogwoods and legend has it that Faeries build their kingdoms in them because the flowers in the trees branches never die. They bloom in spring and last all summer, and then when winter comes, they close their blossoms but stay intact, protecting the faeries from the cold and the chill.”

“How do we find one?” one girl asked.

“Oh they’re very special trees, that stand out to even the least familiar eyes. They have light gray bark that swirls with shades of cream and ridges all over, some deep and some shallow. These ridges are the doors for the faeries. The safest way for them to travel. Sometimes the trunks also have giant knots, big bulks of wood that are taut and strong, and they are filled with magic. Those knots are the foundations of the faerie kingdom.”

The little girls chattered amongst themselves. The description of the bark sounded like a few trees here, but they were desperate to know if they had a Montecarri Dogwood.

“I don’ts knows so much about trees,” Cecelia said, when none of them could come up with anything. “But I love flowers and I sees all the ones we have here. Even the ones from the trees. What does the magic flower look like?”

“Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen any myself. We have many at the palace, but I never stray too far from my roses, and the trees are farther in our grove of woods. But if I recall they are a mix of pink and pearl, with the slightest tint of yellow in the middle.”

“Oh!” Cecelia said excitedly, patting the Queen’s leg in an exuberant affirmation. “We has a tree like that! It’s over there, see it?” Queen Meera looked over and clasped her hands as if genuinely surprised. Emma knew though that she had seen the tree before. The older woman never would have given these little girls hope without knowing there was one nearby.

The Queen went on to explain how her mother always said faerie kingdoms should be honored and protected, and she ended up giving the little girls a mission that gave them purpose and increased their excitement. Faeries, in this legend, liked flower offerings, and now the girls were desirous to collect lots of wildflowers and leave them all around the tree’s trunk. This new adventure meant they were all still perfectly within view of the others, and Emma was impressed at the Queens’s ability to inspire them all so swiftly.

“That was a beautiful story,” Emma said.

“Indeed it was,” another voice said, and Emma realized it was Queen Eleanor. Oh good. Now she was meeting both Killian’s mother and grandmother without him. Excellent. Despite her nerves, however, Queen Eleanor, at first appearance, proved to be just as kind and welcoming as Queen Meera.

“One of the many folktales I grew up with. My mother never lacked for pretty stories. Funny how something I held so dear at their age was so long forgotten. But it’s like looking at a glimpse of the past. I was like them once, desperate to find magic and hold it in my heart.”

“Theoretically I suppose I was too, but the prehistoric age was so different you see, it’s difficult to distinguish what species of plants were abundant in those times.” Emma let out a low barking sound that would have been a laugh but was stifled at the last second. The comment was clearly comical, but too late she realized she didn’t know Queen Eleanor’s sense of humor. Maybe it was a test, and not a purposeful joke. 

“Oh Eleanor, you are so bad. What will Emma think of us?”

“From the laughter she’s bit back, I say my jest has land fairly well. Good thing too. After all these years, you’re all too used to my quips. I’m in desperate need of a new audience. Between Emma and young Henry, I finally stand a chance of receiving the comedic recognition I deserve.”

The mention of her son had Emma looking in his direction, and she was happy to see him kicking around the soccer ball with a number of his friends, as well as Killian and Liam. For the moment his baseball lesson was on the back burner, but this afternoon he’d introduce them all to the sport. In the meantime, he was thoroughly enjoying himself. His smile was evident even from here, and though she couldn’t hear his words, Emma caught the happy tone of her child as it wafted in the air across the way.

“He’s a lovely boy. My goodness the way he was with that little Cecelia this morning, it was just so sweet. But I suspect he gets that generous spirit from you, dear.”

The kind words from Queen Meera made Emma flush pink, but she accepted them, knowing that her son was a good kid and that he would one day grow into an equally good man. She had worked hard to develop and enable his best qualities, and though it was sometimes hard to see her own strengths and good traits, she knew, deep down, that they both shared a loving, hopeful heart.

“We hope you’ll forgive us, Emma, for this lack of traditional introduction. Obviously custom would dictate that we wait until Killian was ready to introduce you and Henry to us all.” Queen Eleanor’s statement was blunt and filled with understanding, if just a tiny bit of frustration. “But you see, patience has never been a particular strength of mine.”

“That is an understatement,” Queen Meera muttered conspiratorially, but Emma could see the affection between the two women.

“When you get to be my age you’ll understand. Time is not promised. It’s of the essence.”

“One thing you’ll come to learn is that my mother-in-law makes regular reference to her age, but she’s fit as a fiddle and likely to outlive every single one of us. She’s also sharp as a tack. Very rarely is there a smarter person in the room.”

“Now, now Meera. Don’t go giving away all my secrets. Let the girl discover them for herself.”

It was hard for Emma to know exactly how to respond. Here were these women, the most important women in Killian’s world, showing her kindness and a willing repartee. It was easy with them, and Emma’s nerves had been settled by their witty banter and their lightness of air. But there was an awful lot of assumption being made in their words. The belief that Emma would definitely be with them enough to learn these quirks and tendencies was loaded, and while Emma was glad that she seemingly had some early approval from Killian’s female relations, she was more than surprised at how bold they were in their estimations.

“In the end, despite the unusual nature of this visit, I believe it’s for the best. Here, we can see you in your most natural state. Correct me if I am wrong, but this seems to be a place where you are truly at peace. You love it here. I see it in the way you are with these children, in how you speak with your friends, and in how you steal glances at my grandson nearly as much as he steals glances of you.”

Ignoring the part about staring at Killian, which was more than a little embarrassing, Emma nodded. “I do feel peace here. The Center reaffirms to me that all the things I believed could be real, truly can be. There’s a way to care for children who need it most in healthy and encouraging ways that make them feel cherished and valued, no matter what life has thrown at them so far. Providing anything less is the product of bad policy and funding shortfalls. I knew that was the case, but seeing it, and feeling what kind of positive impact can be made gives me hope. And as far as I’m concerned, hope and peace really go hand in hand.”

“It’s no wonder he’s so drawn to you. You’re a beautiful woman, but that passion, that belief… yes I believe it’s exactly what Killian’s been needing in his life.”

“And how are you liking Montenarro?” Queen Meera asked, pivoting before any kind of quiet could descend in the face of Queen Eleanor’s commentary. “It’s very different than New York I know.”

Emma’s brow raised at the mention of New York. She hadn’t said where she was from, but then again these women had shown a propensity for knowing a hell of a lot prior to so much as shaking her hand. Someone had probably let it slip at some point this morning.

“This is nothing like New York. It’s really nothing like any place I have ever been before. I didn’t expect anything like this at the beginning. I was so excited about the fellowship, the place we landed was somewhat secondary, but now I couldn’t imagine a better situation, for me or for Henry. We’re both really loving it here. It’s like a long-term holiday, but somehow it’s our life.”

“Oh how wonderful,” Queen Meera said with a delighted smile. “It’s truly better than we planned.”

“Planned?” Emma echoed, not following the word choice, and the looks in the other two women’s eyes were damn near opposites. Meera immediately looked remorseful, like Henry did when he spilled something he hadn’t meant to give away. Eleanor, meanwhile, was flustered for a moment and then pivoted to a calm demeanor, giving only the barest hint of frustration away.

“Oh Meera. Meera, Meera, Meera. What ever will we do with you?”

“Am I missing something?” Emma pressed, feeling the word ‘planned’ as if it weighed a hundred pounds and had settled on her chest.

“I just meant you know, ehrm, how lovely it was for you to take to the country so well.” Stuttering like this from a woman as well spoken and measured as Queen regent of the country? Oh no, Queen Meera was definitely hiding something.

Still, while Emma was wholly unconvinced, she didn’t feel like she could press too hard. Killian’s mother had definitely said the word planned, and now she was way less collected than she had been. For Emma it set off the alarm bells in her head. Meera was verging on a lie right here, but why would the Queen be so open and welcoming with her only to start being evasive and cagey?

“But that’s not what you said, is it mother?”

Killian’s voice was close, and they all turned to find him well within hearing distance. Emma hadn’t noticed his approach before, but there was no denying it now, not when he was so on edge. Instinctively she reached her hand out to him as he came to her, and he took it without hesitation, pressing a kiss to her temple as he came to her side. The action calmed Emma, and felt so natural she didn’t think twice about it until she followed Killian and looked back to the Queens. Only then did she think of how bold it was to do that in front of his mother and grandmother, but while both of them looked on at Emma and Killian with fondness for the display, they were quickly pushed to fend off a new question from Killian.

“What did you mean when you said planned?”

“I meant – well you see, it was just… um?”

Meera was at a total loss for words and eventually she stopped trying, looking to Eleanor for some kind of aid. The older woman was quiet for a moment, weighing her options with the reined in control of a capable monarch. In the end, however, she squared her shoulders, exhaled a long breath, and steadied herself for whatever was to come. Though Emma was curious and a little anxious about whatever they were about to say, she couldn’t help appreciating the humor of the moment. Killian’s Gran was a bit of a diva, and dramatic in a way that didn’t fit with usual imaginings of royalty.

“She means that when you came home in need of a little guidance, we made sure the winds were blowing in the proper direction.”

“And how exactly did you dictate these winds, Gran? What have you two done in the name of commanding the weather?”

“Everything I’ve done, and yes, it was mostly me, so please refrain from being angry with your mother, was in the interest of securing the future of this family.”

“The future… of the family,” he replied. “What right did you have to get involved in my choices?”

“I have every right because I love you, because I want the best for you, and because I know that underneath the pain and the changes you have faced, you are still the same Killy, the same sensitive, loving boy you always have been. We faced a problem at your return. You were unanchored and unhappy. You had seen so much in war and avoided every part of our world here. You needed to come home, but more than that you needed to find something good that was just for you.”

“Yes, _I_ needed to find it,” Killian responded, his words low but determined as he squeezed Emma’s hand. She ran her thumb across his shin gently in a quiet show of support and agreement. “And I did. I found Emma. We found each other. Now you’re saying that wasn’t just fate?”

“Well of course it was fate. It was fated that I would do some research and scope out our options.”

“Gran,” Killian said, his voice strained from the bevy of emotions he was facing.

“Killian,” she replied, not in the slightest intimidated by his reaction. “I fear you may be overblowing my abilities to intervene. All I did was speak to Marco about his newest fellow during our quarterly check in. When he gave such a glowing review, I was intrigued, and then I saw Emma’s picture in the file on his desk and I thought it didn’t hurt to read some more. So when he stepped out to speak with Marie I took it.”

“You took it?” Killian asked, shocked at Eleanor’s bit of thievery.

“Well see there’s where we reach a gray area. Technically I lifted it from the desk, but Jefferson took possession of the documents.”

“Gran?”

“All right, he smuggled them out for me.”

“Gran!”

“What? Marco was none the wiser. I had Jefferson make copies and it was replaced within the day. No one was bothered in the least.”

“I’m bothered, Gran. You shouldn’t have done that. It’s not right.”

“In this case we must agree to disagree, Killian. I believe it _was_ right. In that moment I made a calculation based on hope. I hoped that Emma would take to you as much as you would take to her and that love may come from it. Was the means of achieving that dream unsavory? Perhaps, but I stand by it all the same.”

“But why?” Emma asked, cutting in before Killian could. “You didn’t know me at all. Why go to the trouble? Why take the risk in pushing us together?”

“Well for this, of course,” Gran said, gesturing at the two of them, who had only come closer together as Gran confessed the plot. Instinctively they’d been comforting each other, and it was so clear how in tune they were together. “Sometimes, life hands you a crossroads, a choice amongst the many. It may seem small or even questionable, but it matters. I knew in my bones this was what needed to be done, and while I regret tarnishing your trust in me, I will never regret these actions. My instincts were right. You two are a match, and our Killy has returned, better than ever.”

For a moment it was quiet, as they let the meaning of Queen Eleanor’s words settle. This was a revelation for sure, but for Emma there was no sense of maliciousness. This was the work of a dedicated grandmother, and yes, maybe it was over the top and a bit too heavy handed, but at the end of the day it was also a gift. Without her intervention, Emma and Killian never would have met each other, and that was something too painful for Emma to consider.

“Please don’t be angry with us, darling,” Meera whispered when all was revealed, and only then did Emma notice how rigid Killian still was. This had made him angry, or perhaps it had scared him. She ran her hand along his arm and he looked to her. There was so much in his eyes and she could read that his real worry was her. How did she feel about all of this? She offered him a smile, small but true, and then watched as he exhaled a breath. The stiffness of before had softened, and she knew in that moment the would-be-storm had passed.

“I understand why you did it, and if it brought me to Emma… well I can only be grateful really. But please, for the love of all that is good, let us live our own lives now, please?”

“Absolutely,” Meera said at the same time that Eleanor said “Within reason.”

Despite the lack of total agreement from Killian’s grandmother, Emma had to laugh. It was funny after all, and made all the better when Eleanor put her hands on Killian’s cheeks, looking at him with fondness and love, and sincerely promised never to manipulate a scenario of his heart again. Meera and Eleanor then offered similar promises to Emma, each of them giving her a quick squeeze and an honest apology for any discomfort on her end. She accepted it all, but was grateful for a new interruption. It was finally time for the baseball lesson, and Emma and Killian were both needed straight away.

“Are you sure you’re okay, love? I know it was a lot and I warned you before, but I never imagined…”

“Killian, it’s all good, I promise. It’s just a little meddling. And besides, it worked out in the end, didn’t it?”

“Aye, love. Better than any such plot has a right to.”

Unable to resist, Emma stole a kiss from his lips, melting into the sensation but pulling back before it could become too big a display in front of the kids. It was hard stepping back but she had to, and yet she saw a curious look from Killian that she needed to figure out. She asked him point blank what he was thinking.

“Nothing, Swan. It’s just, well did you notice my Gran’s words? She said no more scenarios of _my_ heart again.”

“Hmm. Makes you wonder, who may still be on her list.”

Without saying it aloud Emma and Killian both knew the only logical option was Liam, and as they looked to him they found him caught up in another bought of staring at Elsa. This time though the would be love birds were closer together, actually interacting, and the electricity between them was palpable. It gave Emma a secondary thrill and she grinned, because as much as Liam was feeling Elsa, Elsa was obviously just as intrigued by Killian’s handsome brother.

“You don’t think she’s planned that too, do you?” Emma asked.

“Truth be told, I wouldn’t put anything past her. Not after all we learned today.”

He made an excellent point, but the more she thought about it the more it made sense. Queen Eleanor must have known about Elsa if she knew about Emma, and perhaps fate may strike twice. Who knew? Maybe brothers could find lovers in the same place. Only time would tell, but by the looks of things, it wouldn’t take much for something to blossom between King Liam and her friend.

“Mom, are you ready?” Henry asked, poised and prepared for an afternoon of Baseball 101. He stood beside Killian, and the two of them looked like a father and son, part of one big happy family that had always been meant to be. In an instant Emma could see that future Queen Eleanor made mention of, and it was perfect and precious and good.

_I’ve never been more ready for anything,_ she admitted to herself, and as she joined her favorite people in a fun-filled afternoon, Emma knew they’d turned another important corner towards the kind of happy ending she wanted most of all. Now all she had to do was tell Killian she loved him and convince him that their future should start sooner rather than later.

**_Post-Note: Okay so there we have it. The big reveal of Gran and Meera’s meddling has finally come, and there was an introduction to another couple I just love writing, which is Liam and Elsa. So funny how I can ship them so much even though they were never on the show together. Anyway, next chapter is actually picking up right after this one. I definitely want to include the truth about Elsa and Anna and also show a glimpse of Emma and Killian getting some alone time together. Not sure when the next chapter will be here, as 2020 is kind of kicking my ass on an energy and motivation level, BUT, I want to thank you all for reading and I’m sending you love and good vibes in these trying times. See you next time and stay safe!_ **


	10. Chapter 10

**_A/N: Hi everybody! I am so excited to FINALLY be back with a new chapter of a fic that so many of you have fallen in love with. This response has been truly unprecedented in my writing experience. I have had lots of fics that many of you rooted for and supported me in, and I am always so grateful for that, but having a hiatus from writing this story showed me just how invested so many of you are. This is a great feeling as a writer, and that excitement you all have is the only reason I have been able to write more of this fic. My ability to write at my usual pace has been tested this fall, and there’s been some ups and downs in my attempts to reengage, but I love this story and I am so excited to share the rest of it with you all. I hope you will all like this new installment, I thank you again for continuing this with me, and I cannot wait to hear what you think!_ **

“Mmmm, this smells delicious,” Henry said, hovering over the skillet not for the first time this evening, and breathing in the pasta sauce Killian had been working on the past half hour. To the boy’s credit, it did smell absolutely wonderful, a comforting classic anyone would love, and which the three of them had earned, after a day of unexpected meetings and introductions. This pasta was a traditional Montennaran recipe, not far off from a classic Sicilian pomodoro, but with the benefit of a few of this country’s specialties. It was a favorite of his personally, and one of the few meals he’d learned to cook well during his time in the service.

“Seriously. Who knew you could cook like this?” Emma said, still stunned at the display before them. She must have assumed from pizza night and the slow cooking speed of their first date that he was fully a novice, and he was in many ways. But he did have a few small tricks up his sleeves, and one was this sauce, which was easy to make as long as he had the right ingredients. It was quick, but precise, and it gave off the perception that he had mastered something difficult, even though that wasn’t true.

“This dish is a special one for me and for my unit. This is the spread each of us waited for during deployments. You crave so many things when you’re without them for so long, but this meal symbolized something else. The moment we’d touch down on Montennaran soil, this is the first thing we would eat. It represents safety just as much as it does a good meal.”

“You always had this?” Henry asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. “No matter what time?”

“Breakfast, lunch, or dinner. This was it,” Killian said, smiling at the memory of early morning pasta meals that he’d enjoyed more than most other moments in his time at sea. Those were the times when they all felt at peace again, and where they allowed themselves to breathe and heal no matter what dark moments had been withstood. “We took turns preparing it, tired as we’d all be from the tour and the travel, but the pressure was on. The last thing you want to do is disappoint newly anchored sailors. It’s a mistake that may just be your last.”

“No kidding,” Henry said, surprised but taking the words at face value. “It sounds so cool though. Being in the Navy, I mean. You meet all those people, people who are your family too even if you’re not related.”

“Aye, lad, they are my family. Always will be.”

“I can’t wait to meet them someday,” Henry said eagerly. Killian noticed Emma tense a bit but she didn’t need to worry. It was always his intention to introduce them all, because it was his plan to keep Emma and Henry with him forever. “Will it be like today do you think?”

“That depends on how you think today went.”

Killian’s quip earned a laugh from Henry and a soft smile from Emma. He was teasing as if the afternoon had been anything but excellent, when of course that was not the case. Despite the unexpected nature of it all, his family had been on their best behavior and they’d all immediately loved Emma and her boy. He knew in his heart they would, but it took a lot of pressure off and hopefully would help ease some of Emma’s worries about where this was going and if his family would approve.

“Today was totally awesome!” Henry said. “Everyone was so nice and cool. But Gran was definitely my favorite.”

“For now maybe,” Killian said, knowing full well what the draw of his Gran was and how her energy and feistiness made her infinitely lovable. “But give it time. My Mum and Liam both have a few more tricks up their sleeves.”

“What did you think of today, Mom?” Henry asked, and Killian was intrigued to know her thoughts. He doubted that Emma would go very deep with her assessment, but she was always honest with her son, of that Killian was totally assured.

“It was… easy,” Emma confessed, smiling at the memories of the day. “I never expected to feel so welcomed right away, but everyone was so normal, it was nice.”

“Normal is pushing it a bit, love. My grandmother’s revelations alone somewhat undermine my family’s classification as something so benign.”

“Maybe,” Emma said with a shrug. “But the families I’ve seen all have some kind of well-meaning meddling, don’t they? Hers just has a bit more royal flare.”

“Oh, Gran’s got flare all right. No doubt about that,” Henry said cheekily as he took the dishes and silverware from Emma and headed to the dining room to set the table.

It wasn’t a statement the boy had meant to be impactful, but it hit Killian right in the heart. That was another special moment from today. There was no formality with his family and Henry and Emma, and he had witnessed the moment his grandmother insisted that Henry call her Gran as well. To have Henry accept that so quickly was a blessing, and another bright spot in what had been a beautiful day.

“And what about you?” Emma asked him when they were alone. “How did you think today went?”

Instinctively Killian turned off the burner, knowing the food was ready to serve but not wanting it to be ruined. He wiped his hands clean of any rogue tomato and then he pulled Emma straight into his arms in one fluid motion. Without pause, he pressed a kiss to her lips that was meant to be soft and nonintrusive in case Henry returned, but quickly morphed to something heated when Emma clutched at his shirt and arched in closer. By the time they pulled apart, he almost forgot the question, but Emma’s curious green eyes prompted him to reassure her of the truth.

“Today was one of the best days I’ve ever known, love. The most important people in my world came together, and if my instincts are correct, it’s gone just about as perfectly as it could. I couldn’t ask for anything more than that…”

“Sounds like there’s a ‘but’ hanging in that statement,” she said, running her fingers across his cheek as she looked at him, searching for answers. “Talk to me.”

“It’s just that I -,”

“Okay, table’s set!” Henry said, barreling back into the kitchen and prompting Killian to step back from Emma but to keep his hand in hers.

Emma and Killian exchanged a look that silently said they would pick up this conversation again later, but Killian squeezed her hand in what he hoped was a calming and comforting gesture. The hanging words he’d yet to say were hardly bad ones, he just had to admit that as beautiful as today was he wanted so much more. He’d never have enough days like this one for his liking. He would always want more, no matter what came, and that was what he’d have to ask her for if not today then someday very soon.

Dinner proceeded without a hitch, and not only was his cooking a success, but the meal was fun and lively. Henry made for so much conversation, and his thoughts on the day were long and varied. He was so full of excitement and energy that it was contagious, and Killian learned more from both the boy and his mother about what they’d taken from meeting his family. They all talked about the center too, about Marco and Marie and Cecelia, and then at length about Anna and especially Elsa.

“Do you think anything will come from it?” Emma asked Killian at one point, after they’d already dissected how undeniable the moment was between Emma’s friend and Killian’s brother.

“Oh for sure,” Henry said before Killian could respond. Both Emma and Killian laughed at his confidence.

“You seem rather certain, lad.”

“Well it’s pretty obvious. I mean he looks at Elsa the way you look at Mom. They’re totally gonna get together. It was love at first sight. Just like with you two.”

“Henry,” Emma said, chastising him somewhat but in a measured way.

“What?”

“Well not for nothing, but you didn’t even see Killian and I meet how could you know it was…”

“Love at first sight?” Killian offered, grinning at her, knowing in his heart that was exactly what they’d felt the moment they laid eyes on each other.

“Exactly.”

“Oh, come on, Mom,” Henry said, rolling his eyes in a move Killian rarely ever saw, but which looked exactly like his mother when she was exasperated. He nearly choked on his water, but he powered through, biting back a laugh at Emma’s shocked face. “It was totally love. You came home extra happy and you had a dreamy look on your face all the time when Killian started volunteering. And since then you’ve been kinda… what does Mrs. H call it again? Oh right, scatterbrained. Love can do that, you know. I asked Gran about it today and she said it’s a telltale sign.”

“You asked her that?” Emma asked, shocked and maybe just a little bit mortified as Henry nodded like it was no big deal.

“Yup. She knows everything. She said that’s what happens when you’re old, and since Mrs. H says that too I think it’s probably true. Come to think of it, they’d be great friends don’t you think?”

“Mrs. H and Queen Eleanor?” Emma asked, as if the thought of their neighbor and Killian’s grandmother being ‘friends’ was too much to handle. “Well I mean, now that you mention it, there are a few similarities there.”

“Totally. And if Mrs. H was here she’d agree with me about Liam and Elsa. It’s totally love, and that’s awesome. Queen Elsa. It has a nice ring to it. Like she was meant to be a royal.”

Killian didn’t think Elsa was the only one with a name suited for royalty. In his estimation Princess Emma and even Prince Henry were rather fitting as well, but he bit that statement back, not wanting to overwhelm Emma or bring something up in front of Henry that she wasn’t ready for. Instead he steered the conversation in other directions, enjoying himself thoroughly as they all enjoyed dessert together that Emma had put together before watching a movie the three of them. It was a totally natural thing, and at more than one point Killian thought that they really looked like a family. It filled his heart with hope, and he wished one day he could officially claim both of them as his. But tonight, he’d just enjoy how good it felt to be with two such special people who seemed to see something in him too.

“Okay, kid, it’s about that time. It’s late already, so PJs and then you can read two chapters and then that’s all she wrote. You got me?”

“Sure, Mom. But can I read to Killian tonight? I’m at a great part in the story. The pirates are about to board the ship.”

“Um, I’m not – I mean, if you want?” Emma asked deferring to him though she was obviously flustered.

“Sounds good to me,” Killian said prompting relief in Emma and a sound of excitement from Henry.

Henry hurried to get himself ready for bed, and just as he’d promised, he proceeded to read Killian two chapters of his current book. The title was one Killian recognized from his youth, but he was impressed that a ten-year-old had such command of the story. Henry was a good reader but also theatrical, keeping Killian’s attention all the while. Only when he closed the book did Killian leave the swashbuckling alternative universe the story took place in.

“Quite the tale there, lad. You’ll have to keep me apprised of what happens next.”

“No need, I’ll save it until you come back again,” Henry said easily, gesturing to his bookcase which was full of books in so many shades and shapes. “I’ve got tons of them to read.”

“I’d appreciate that,” Killian said truthfully standing back up and heading towards the door. “Well thanks again for the story, Henry. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Killian,” Henry said, letting out a yawn and settling into bed. “Love you.”

The words placed a direct hit on Killian’s heart, and he was unsure if Henry had meant to say it or if sleep was getting the better of him, but Killian could only go on instinct. He answered honestly, telling the boy he loved him too and seeing him smile and settle to sleep before slipping into the hall and walking right into Emma who had tears in her eyes.

“Emma?” he asked, mindful to keep his voice more a whisper than something that could wake up Henry. “Is everything all right?”

“He said he loves you,” Emma whispered, and Killian nodded, brushing her tears away as he held her close.

“He did, love, and it made me feel ten feet tall.”

“Because you love him too,” she whispered, awed at that as if were some kind of stunning revelation and not a given fact of life.

“Of course I do. He’s an amazing boy, and his mother… well she’s the beating of my heart. How could I do anything but love him when he’s a piece of you, Emma?”

“What were you going to say earlier?” Emma asked, abruptly pulling them back to that moment in the kitchen. He debated holding back, but he decided ultimately it was better to put all of his cards on the table. Transparency was key if they had any shot of making this work.

“I was going to say that you, Emma Swan, are the reason. You’re my reason for everything, this impossible gift I never saw coming, and I’m lost in you. I see this perfect moment and forever when I look in your eyes, I see a life I’m desperate to pursue and real hope for the future. I still can’t believe that you’ve chosen me and that I’m standing here with you at all, and a day as good as this one only reminds me that I’ll always have this want - this need - for you. I love you, Emma, irrefutably, incandescently. In a forever and so much longer kind of way.”

“I love you too. Just as much,” Emma said, her voice stronger this time though her tears still came. They appeared to be the product of joy instead of sadness, but they still clutched at his chest like a vice. The only antidote was pulling Emma somewhere private, in this case her bedroom, and confirming he was right.

Once the door was closed behind them, locking them into a sound tight suite on the other end of Emma’s temporary home, their actions blended together. He didn’t lead the way, but moved with Emma, a dance that felt so much more practiced than it was. Emma pulled him for steamy kisses, and he savored her taste on his tongue as he held her close and moved her back towards the bed in her room. The lights were dimmed, but washed the room in a warmth he felt upon his skin. He was burning up from the closeness and the promise of what was to come, but the only thing he could think was that he needed more.

In the back of his mind, Killian also realized that this moment needed quiet. With Henry in the house, they didn’t have the freedom he might yearn for, but no matter. He had the love of the most incredible woman and she’d accepted his love in return. That needed celebration and merited some long-desired reveling. He wanted to show her how he felt, and though he’d finally said the words and attempted to make her understand, the feelings he had went so much deeper. Looking in her eyes right now, he could tell she felt just as much, but the time for waiting and wondering was over. They had put the truth between them and now it was time to truly immerse themselves in it.

Instinct and hunger soon took over for Killian, melding with the love he felt and the softer feelings in his heart in a wickedly wonderful way. He wanted Emma bared to him as soon as could be, spread out on the sheets of this bed and ready for his taking. They’d been flirting with the pleasures they could have for a while now, and they’d been intimate before, but this was different. This was a first in many ways, and Killian was intent on having this moment be one they wouldn’t rush, and that they’d remember for the rest of their lives.

A primal voice in his brain urged him to take her fast and hard, to make a claim they’d both feel branded by, but Killian anchored himself to an idea of something slower and more sensual. He knew taking his time would prove so much more gratifying, and he wanted to make this as good for his Swan as it could possibly be. He helped Emma out of clothes, noticing the tremble of her hands as he did. She was buzzing with excitement and electricity, but she matched his pace, understanding that if they drove each other crazy for just a little longer it would be sublime.

He was entranced by her entirely, and as her clothes from the day fell away, revealing two extremely unexpected scraps of red lace underneath, he couldn’t help but groan. No woman had a right to be so lovely, to claw at him so surely, and to set him alight in this way, but God did he love it. Emma was impossible, but somehow she was real. He felt her responsiveness to him and tracked the way that she noticed how his appreciative gaze moved up her body. A flush spread across her creamy skin, but she stood there, proud and sure as her hands moved across his body, removing his clothes as he’d done hers.

“I didn’t know that I could want this much,” she whispered, the honey-laced tone of her voice a sweet melody to his ears. “I need you, Killian. I love you.”

“Fuck me,” he grumbled, surprising her by taking her in his arms and lowering her to the bed. She let out a gasp before giving into laughter, her eyes bright and sparkling in the lamp light.

“Believe me, I’m trying,” she quipped, but her feistiness faded somewhat as he shed the rest of his clothes. Now her attention had switched, she was watching him steadily, and unconsciously licked her lips. That was it. His patience broke and he was on her, hands roaming, mouth teasing, and hellbent on more.

“Much as I might love that idea, Swan, tonight isn’t about fucking. Tonight I make love to the woman of my dreams. Tonight I show you my heart in full. It’s so much more than sex. Tonight is everything.”

“I know,” Emma whispered, running her hands along his cheek. “So show me.”

Bound by her request, Killian set out to do just that. It began with roaming hands and removing the last two scraps of red that shielded her from him. Once she was bare, he let himself explore and learn every spot and lick and nip that made her breathless. He traced the sensitive places on her body that made her hum in pleasure, and cherished each freckle on her skin that had come from the summer sun. He riled her up with his hands and his mouth until she was pleading for release, and then he gave it to her, touching her tender flesh and prompting a thready moan from her lips.

“ _Killian_.” Emma’s croon was ragged and gorgeous, making him harder than he ever thought possible. The sound of her desire reached within his soul and engulfed him completely. Unable to resist, he felt himself growing addicted, unsure if he could ever stop. He needed her sighs like he needed to breath, and he purposefully pulled as many sounds of pleasure from her as he could.

There was nothing like Emma lost in lust; she’d never been more beautiful and he didn’t know how that was possible. As his thumb swirled against her clit and his fingers filled her, she gave more away, revealing herself and her needs in ways that made him dizzy. Every response set Killian aflame, and every breathy sigh and plea for more was a sign he intended to follow until he’d led her right over the edge and she shattered beneath him.

“You destroy me, love,” he found himself saying as he looked down at her and brushed some strands of her curled blonde hair out of her eyes. “Destroy me and make me into so much more. I’m in awe of you.”

In the face of her release, and the sincere words that he meant completely, Emma blushed again but smiled. Her expression was one he’d only ever seen her share with him, and it made him feel indestructible. He’d never met a person with more impact on his soul, and he’d never met a woman who so effortlessly created hope and good in his heart. Emma Swan was everything a man could ever want made real, and Killian still couldn’t comprehend how he was lucky enough to be here.

“I can’t imagine this is real,” Emma said, her words still dazed, but happy and content. “But I know it is. I know _you_ are. I’m in this, Killian. I’ve never been more in.”

“Thank God for that, love,” Killian said with a grin and one more kiss before he trailed lower.

With careful attentions designed for maximum pleasure, Killian hit each peak point on her body, bestowing licks and nips that made her jump and mewl. By the time he’d reached her inner thighs, she was breathing heavy, anticipation clear as day. Killian looked up to her now emerald colored eyes as his hands held her steady, needing to know that this was what she wanted and what he saw was irrefutable. Emma was just as desirous for this as he was, and Killian was never so glad for anything in his life.

When his tongue met her sex, he tasted her need for him. Her body writhed beneath him, but he held her still, knowing she needed this from him now. She was wound up tight, the desire twisting around inside her and making her try to break away, but he built it up wanting to give her something she’d never get enough of. With slow, languid licks, he built the moment for him and her. The higher she climbed, the more crazed he himself became, but he waited until she shattered again to take his own pleasure. Once she had, though, all bets were off.

Their coming together was sensational serenity, walking the line between hard and gentle, tender and heated. Further and further they moved towards bliss, but time was off its normal tracks and their minds were filled with only this glorious moment. Soon enough, and yet not soon enough at all, they met that magic, crashing into climax. Minutes later they remained, both spent and breathing heavy, glowing from the aftermath and intertwined together, two bodies hell bent on never being parted. Killian found himself speechless in the aftermath, though his hands drew unknown figures on her skin. He had to touch her, had to hold her, even though he had just felt heaven itself. Truth be told, Killian was totally complete, and more invigorated than ever. Life had never felt more perfect and nothing had ever made more sense.

These revelations were all thanks to Emma. She was the one who made him believe love could be honest and true. She showed him depths he’d never dreamed of, and right now, as the swift and gentle tug of sleep came beckoning, she was a vision. Smiling at him, holding him close and whispering a promise he almost couldn’t bear.

“Forever, Killian,” she breathed, cuddling towards his chest after pressing one last kiss upon his skin. “That’s how long I know I’ll love you.”

“Forever, Emma,” he replied, though he knew even now she may already have succumbed to slumber. “Forever and whatever exists beyond.”

……………

Sneaking back into the castle now was a stark contrast to the many mornings he’d snuck out for a bit of space. Killian couldn’t resist smiling at how much things had changed since that time, and on those days when he walked out in the hills to watch the sunrise. However, unlike those other mornings, Killian knew the moment he walked through the great oak doors that he was not the only one up at this God forsaken hour. Call it instinct or intuition, but Killian could sense uneasiness in the palace, and as he moved up the corridor and saw light emanating from one of Liam’s studies, his hunch was proven right. 

With measured steps he approached the open door. It remained ajar, a beacon to anyone who may pass by that his brother was here but still approachable. What Killian saw when he walked to the doorway, however, was the undeniable truth that Liam was not well, and that he likely had no idea the door was open. He’d been up all night, burning the midnight oil, and studying files and photos strewn about his desk.

“For your information, you’re about…” Killian’s words trailed off as he checked the clock on the mantel to clarify the time, “twenty-two and a half minutes from being discovered by Francine or Claudette. Give or take or minute or so.”

The mention of two of the maids on the morning shift in the palace seemed to ground Liam into the reality of this moment and the predawn light outside. He looked up at Killian and then out the antique windows which offered a familiar view of the palace grounds, now bathed in the early morning sunshine. Liam let out a sigh, running a hand through his dark hair that had already been mussed with some frequency. There was no way his brother had slept this evening. He was wild and unkempt, and so far from his state of normal it was fascinating to see.

“Any other day and I’d be focused on your early morning return,” Liam mused, offering something like a smile. It surprised Killian, given how infrequent smiles had become for his brother, but before he could mention it, Liam looked back to the papers and the books strewn about the mahogany desk. Killian wasn’t sure what he expected, but these archives of the family’s public events was not it. His curiosity grew, and he urged his brother to explain himself.

“But it’s not so ordinary, is it?”

“No, she isn’t,” Liam whispered, slipping up and referring to the woman who had turned his head completely, instead of the morning itself. “I didn’t plan for this.”

“No one ever does,” Killian quipped. “Gran will be the first to tell you that to love is to surrender. Planning has no place in affairs of the heart.”

“That old bird is too crafty,” Liam said shaking his head as Killian’s brow furrowed in confusion. “All these years of talk, throwing opinions here there and everywhere. She never met a moment where words failed her and she never lets a day slip past where she doesn’t share her every whim. But I’ve always written it off as her opinion or some grandiose turn of phrase that sounds ripped from a book of clichés rather than something rooted in truth.”

“The worst are the riddles. The woman loves a riddle,” Killian added and Liam groaned, a sound of actual pain that Killian felt, despite its humor.

“I hate the bloody things. The flowery words, the abstract philosophies. It’s all just meaningless. Or so I thought. A whole life spent listening to this woman, and I never took much of it seriously. To be sure there were some times when she offered sage counsel, but I found it unlikely that she was actually providing me with answers to anything really sentimental. Half the time she’s as vague as can be. I wrote off nearly all her musings for the better part of my life.”

“Yet here we are,” Killian said evenly and Liam nodded.

“Aye, here we are.”

Liam stood from his chair and walked towards the windows. Killian watched as his brother’s arms crossed over his chest, his gaze turned out to the world, looking but not really seeing. He was lost in his own thoughts, struggling to give voice to them, and so Killian was patient. There was no use dragging Liam to conversation. His brother was guarded and grappling for control. Only when he was ready, would the truth come out. A few minutes later, after a prolonged bit of silence, they finally did. 

“I’ve long put off the inevitable, brother. Royal expectation demands that I choose a bride, but for years I’ve hesitated, unwilling to commit to any kind of match. The press has questioned my delay for ages, but that talk is mostly harmless. Still, I have always known that would change. A day would come when talk became more, and I needed to settle, to choose duty over heart.”

“You’ve said as much before, brother, but nothing in the law says that you have to forsake your heart for the sake of the country. A love match _is_ allowed. You know this.”

“Aye, I do, but I never entertained the premise, not really. After our parents’ fiasco of a marriage, I ruled it out entirely. My best hope was for what had existed before, something arranged where, if I was lucky, love may bloom. Look at Gran and Grandad. It was love, absolutely, but it was also a merger. There was very little choice involved at all, just logic and good reasoning. At least in those situations you know what you’re getting into. There’s a safety in settling for that which is known. But fuck if I want that anymore. Truth be told the thought makes me sick, and I barely spoke to her.”

“To Elsa, you mean?” Killian prodded and Liam’s eyes brightened as he nodded.

“How can she move me like this already? One day in her presence and I hardly know myself. One day and I know that everything I thought would happen will never come to pass. I’ll never be the man that settles, not when I know she’s out there. I can’t describe it except to say that I have to know her, have to pursue this, have to hope she’ll give me a chance. I’ve never felt this out of my depths. I saw her and the rest of the world just ceased to matter. I wasn’t the King, or a ruler, or a politician. I had no duty and no course. I was just a man, and she was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, plain and simple. I know it’s mad, but damn if it’s not true.”

“If it’s mad, you’re in good company. That’s exactly how I felt the first time I saw Emma.”

“That’s reassuring, and yet… it’s the strangest thing, I swear I looked at Elsa and I was halfway in a memory. I was a boy again, but the details were hazy. It just felt familiar, like we’ve met before. My heart had skipped that particular beat. My gut had felt that strongly. Now though I’m lost. I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s more than what it is. Maybe I missed something, but how could anyone ever miss her?”

“Ah that explains these books,” Killian said gesturing to everything here. “But let me guess, no sign of her in these.”

“None. But the feeling still lingers. It’s like I dreamed her up. The recognition is strong, but just barely out of grasp. God, listen to me. I’ve become an absolute melt.”

Killian couldn’t help but laugh at the slang of their youth. Their boarding schools had been filled with Brits and other Europeans, and to be a melt was to be a sop, a sap, someone who had given in to their most romantic feelings.

“Maybe, but if that’s true, God knows I’m happy for it.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am. I’ve always wanted more for you, Liam. You shouldn’t aim for mere contentment, or to just be comforted by honor and duty. The goal is to be genuinely, honestly happy, and this morning, despite the anxiety of newness, I see the start of something in you. Something good.”

“I fear I’ve been too hard on you, Killian,” Liam said, his voice softer and his tone sincere. “Not lately I mean, and hopefully you’ve noticed the shift over the past few weeks, but in the beginning, I didn’t see how you could feel so much. I asked a lot of you, with the parade and royal obligations, and I didn’t realize what the risk was. Slowly I’ve grown to understand that the changes in you I have seen can only be attributed to love. You are happy and it is clear for the world to see. I’ve respected that, but now to know it’s more than hypothetical, I just think it bears repeating. To lose this feeling…” Liam brushed his hand against his heart absentmindedly, as if his chest ached from some physical pain. “Anyway, I hate that I forced that choice upon you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s forgiven, brother. Well, it will be, if you grant me one wish.”

“Anything.”

“I’d like your blessing, and not a royal one, not a King’s well wishes. Just you, as my brother, backing me when I ask Emma to be my wife.”

The look of surprise on Liam’s face quickly morphed into a grin. There was his brother of old, the one who had existed before royal training. He was truly happy and a bit mischievous as well. The two of them had long been told they shared that smile, but coming from Liam, it felt like a most precious gift.

“You plan to ask her already?”

“Already?” Killian laughed. “It feels like I’ve been waiting forever. But I suppose you’re right. It is fast.”

“Fast seems to run in this family,” Liam said thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t have said that before yesterday, but as it stands, I understand. You have my backing, Killian. Emma is right for you, and if she’ll have you, we’d be lucky to have her.”

Liam came around the table, hugging Killian and showing him the depth of his joy. It was genuine, this support from his brother, and it made a world of difference. No matter what, Killian would ask Emma to be his wife, but knowing that his family felt as good about this as he did settled something in him. Now all he had to do was find the perfect moment. It was hard to be patient, especially when they’d admitted how they felt, and when he knew his feelings for Emma would only ever grow, but he’d find away. More than anything he wanted Emma to have a perfect moment, one they could build their future on forever more.

“And what of you and Elsa? Where do you go from here?”

“The only way I can go,” Liam said, resuming his assured control even though he was at the precipice of something totally foreign to him. “Towards her.”

“Good man. Trust in that feeling. It’s yet to steer me wrong.”

The two of them would have no doubt shared more, but at that moment, the voices of the morning staff could be heard down the hall. Their privacy had expired, the day had dawned, and reality beckoned, yet Killian knew even without proof, that things would work out. For now, there was a tremendous amount of hope for both him and Liam, hope that had been missing for many many years. Things may still be a bit uncertain, hearts needed to be won and vows needed to be made, but in his soul, Killian knew it would all work out. For Gran was usually right in the end, and he and Liam would both certainly surrender to love. Killian, for his part, already had, and honestly, it was the best damn thing he’d ever done. Soon, though, he would need to do more, to take the steps he so badly wanted with Emma, and to build a life with her and Henry worthy of them both. It was a mission he felt down to his bones, and one he simply would not fail. He’d find a way to their happily ever after, whatever it may look like, and the excitement of that would keep him going as long as it took.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it – a new chapter of this story, and the setup for the next chapter which will have more of the Elsa/Anna backstory for you all. From there we get to move towards my typical happily ever after recipe, a proposal, a wedding, and the joyful thereafter. I think there are going to be about 4 more installments left total (though one of those will be an epilogue and it may be quite a while before I am ready to publish that). But I promise to do my best to update more frequently than I have been. I have had so many of you sending love and wishes for faster updates, and those requests have not fallen on deaf ears. In fact, every comment and message makes writing that much easier, and I am so grateful for the overwhelming support. I promise I am doing my best to get you all this story, and just hope it’ll live up to everyone’s excited expectations. Either way, I thank you all so much for reading, and I wish you all well and healthy in this time. Sending you all the best!_ **


	11. Chapter 11

**_A/N: Hey all! I am so excited to share this chapter for a number of reasons, one of them being that we get a new POV that is not Emma or Killian. That’s right, today I am including Elsa as one of our storytellers too. But don’t worry, as much as we’ll be learning about Elsa and Anna’s past and Elsa and Liam’s attraction to each other, there will still be some CS cuteness. Because it is me, there is also a LOT of fluff and feels abounding. It’s hard to say much more without spoiling, so, without further ado, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter and thank you so much for the support and good vibes!_ **

Wandering through the woods at the far reach of the Institute, Elsa did her best to stave off the worry that had clung to her heart all night. She hardly slept, tossing and turning, gripped with agitation, and all because today, at long last, the truth would come out.

It wasn’t that she enjoyed lying all this time, or that Elsa was desirous to keep her story hidden any longer. This was simply reflex. For years she and her sister had guarded their real origins from nearly everyone they met. Only a select few people in the world knew anything of Elsa and Anna’s past, and those secret keepers had not been chosen by her or her sister. They were thrust into this situation as children, but today they would take a leap of faith and share the truth with a new, but genuine friend.

_Emma is deserving of our trust,_ Elsa reasoned to herself, continuing an argument she’d had internally for weeks. She and Anna had both agreed Emma was someone they could confide in and they believed in her goodness and her ability to keep a secret. They had both yearned for the chance to share this truth with someone – anyone - and now they had it. But it had gotten so much more complicated at the same time, and all thanks to the royal visit that happened yesterday.

When she and Anna moved to Montenarro and began working at the Institute, they both knew the slight risk that existed of their being found out. Public curiosity had long ago waned about their family, enough so that they felt capable of using their real first names in applying for the job, but members of the aristocracy were different. They memorized lineages, and studied other families of note, across country lines. The royal family of Montennaro may not come to the Center often, but they did sponsor and fund this charity. As such, there may come a time when they encountered the royals. This was, theoretically, not a huge issue, at least not in Anna’s eyes. After all, Anna had never actually met any member of the royal family, and so had no chance of being recognized. She assumed that Elsa was in the same boat, and that would make sense, for the sisters had done nearly everything together their whole lives.

Selfishly, Elsa allowed her sister’s assumption of their past run ins with the royals to stand, even though it was not accurate. She omitted the truth, about a moment in time that felt light years away and yet so cherished even now, because she wanted to stay here in Montennaro. It was her and Anna’s dream to do good works, to make use of all their many years of study back in France, and to leave the world a little brighter than how they had found it. After everything they had been through, Elsa so dearly wished to give back to children in need alongside her sister. There were no other opportunities like this one, no Centers that provided as much for their pupils, and no other place that felt like a home, not since the passing of their Grandmere. So Elsa had bit her tongue, and enjoyed the years of obscurity they found here with the children, always praying that her secret from her sister would never come to light.

Things obviously changed when Killian arrived, and when it was announced that the youngest son of the royal line would be here, working alongside them, almost every day. The panic Elsa carried with her was profound, but after hesitation in the beginning, Elsa realized there was nothing to fear from the Prince. Prince Killian had no connection to her, and he was instantly consumed by his attraction to Emma. There was no fear of him discovering who she and Anna were, not when he was distracted and totally besotted by her friend.

Only when she and Anna spoke with Killian after the parade did Elsa begin to worry again, not because she thought her friend would lose out on the clearly true love she’d found with Killian, but because it was clear as day that Emma and the prince would one day be married. That was a wonderful thing, but it would make a friendship between Elsa and Anna and Emma so much harder. Guarding this secret would become even more difficult if they regularly saw people who held so many breadcrumbs from the past. Elsa had grown more and more worried about it, but it was ultimately Anna who made the decision.

_“There’s only one thing to do,”_ Anna said the night of Killian and Emma’s reconciliation _. “We have to tell Emma the truth. I think the danger for us has long since passed, but even so, it’s best to tell her what we’ve been through. Just in case. That way, when they marry, as we both know they will, we can sidestep the whole awkward RSVP thing. It’ll be a shame to miss it, but it can’t be risked. Not if we want to keep hiding.”_

Elsa was simultaneously relieved at Anna’s idea, and guilty at the fact that she still wasn’t being totally honest. In truth, it was eating her up inside, and she just didn’t know how much more of this she could take.

_Not much longer now. You’ll tell them both everything today. As soon as Emma gets here._

At that moment, Elsa came to the part of a wooded clearing where green grass met the bank of a bubbling stream. The clear spring water flowed across rocks and moss, gurgling along in a measured, soothing melody. It was nothing like the mighty river they’d grown up on, which was loud and thunderous and strong, but still, a lullaby from her childhood filtered through Elsa’s mind, and a memory of their mother singing to her and Anna transported her back to the life they used to have…

_“Sing it again, Mama, please?” Anna pleaded, snuggling into bed and holding Elsa close as she did. The two of them had their own beds, and their own rooms, but every night Anna made her way here, insisting that she and Elsa needed to be together. Elsa never tried to fight it. She loved Anna, and she always slept better with her sister beside her._

_“Anna, darling, it’s late. Far too late for my two little princesses to still be awake. How will you ever rise with the sun if you never go to sleep?”_

_Their mother’s green eyes shone with mischief, but also so much love. She was pretending to deny them, but she could never say no to Anna. It was only a matter of time before she repeated the lullaby again, and Elsa couldn’t wait. She loved her mother’s voice. It was like warm honey in her father’s favorite tea. A splash of simple sweetness that made all the difference in the world._

_“I promise to go right to bed. Look, I’ll even close my eyes,” Anna said eagerly, shutting her eyes so tight her face scrunched with the effort. Elsa shook with silent laughter and watched her mother do the same. Then their mother sighed and yielded to the request._

_“Oh, all right. Now let’s see here. How does it start again…?”_

_Anna’s eyes popped open as she fed her the line. “Where the north wind meets the sea!” she exclaimed, and their mother shook her head even as she smiled._

_“Ah, ah, ah. Eyes closed remember?”_

_Anna nodded and closed her eyes again before whispering. “You help her, Elsa. You and Mama sing. I love it when you sing.”_

_“Ok, Anna,” she agreed, taking her sisters hand and squeezing it gently. Then she and her mother looked at each other and started the song together._

_“Where the north wind meets the sea_

_There’s a river full of memory_

_Sleep, my darling, safe and sound_

_For in this river all is found_

_In her waters, deep and true_

_Lay the answers and a path for you_

_Dive down deep into her sound_

_But not too far or you’ll be drowned_

_Yes, she will sing to those who’ll hear_

_And in her song, all magic flows_

_But can you brave what you most fear?_

_Can you face what the river knows?_

_Where the north wind meets the sea_

_There’s a mother full of memory_

_Come, my darling, homeward bound_

_When all is lost, then all is found”_

_In the short time they sang the song, Elsa felt Anna’s hold on her soften, but she wasn’t quite asleep yet. Elsa held a finger up to her mother, a signal that they should sing it through once more, and by the time that was done, Anna’s breathing had evened out and she was already dreaming. She was nearly impossible to wake once sleeping, so Elsa felt free to speak to her mother in a quiet tone._

_“Anna still thinks if we search hard enough by the riverside, we’ll find the magic in the song.”_

_“But you don’t?” Her mother asked and Elsa shook her head._

_“No. I think magic like that is just in stories.”_

_“Perhaps, but I like to think our magic –_ real _magic – is just a little bit different.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Well you’re right, the lullaby goes hand in hand with our old folk stories, the legends of Arendelle shared for hundreds of years. In those stories people had abilities that no ordinary human should have.”_

_“Like superheroes,” Elsa offered, and her mother smiled._

_“Exactly. But just because we can’t wield water or ice or flames doesn’t mean we can’t make a difference. And you know how you make the biggest difference?” Elsa shook her head. “With love and with kindness. The way you love your sister, the way you love your father and I, the way you love everyone here in the manor, that is your greatest gift, my dear. And someday you will change the lives of so many people all by showing them great love and compassion.”_

_“You really think that’s magical?” Elsa asked, letting the idea wash over her. She always tried her best to do right and to be good to other people. That was what her parents had taught her. She liked the idea that by being good she was using a superpower, and the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Everyone did seem so much happier when she was kind and patient, and at the end of the day, that was the greatest gift – to be happy._

_“Oh yes. It’s an old magic, one that is so much more powerful than people give it credit for. But once you know of it, it’s your job to keep it strong. You must never give up hope, and you must always follow your heart and do the next right thing.”_

_“The next right thing,” Elsa agreed, not thinking too much of it as sleep was beginning to creep near. The hour was late, and she was tired too, but she wanted to stay awake and enjoy this time with her mother. She and Anna often had to share their time with their parents, and it always made Elsa feel special to be with her one on one. As if she could read Elsa’s mind, her mother pressed a kiss to her forehead and made a promise._

_“We’ll talk more tomorrow, my darling. Now, get some sleep.”_

Elsa had no idea that that night with her mother would be the last, and that everything she took for granted as the pillars of her world would be stolen in an instant. They’d gone from peace and contentment to total upheaval in the blink of an eye, and she and Anna were whisked away immediately, saved by little more than luck and the will of fate herself. The pain of that day would be etched in her soul forever, and so would the grief of losing the only home she’d ever known. But now, after decades of wishing things were different, Elsa could look back and be grateful, not for the troubles that had come, but for the sacred moments they did have with their parents before they were gone. It was hard to look back, but it was also a blessing. To have been so deeply loved that death could not sever the tie, that was something that had kept Elsa strong, and what she would cling to today especially.

Unwillingly, Elsa’s mind wandered at just the thought of love, to a man who bewildered her and drew her in all at once. He was always meant to be a beautiful memory, a boy she knew one summer’s day who showed her kindness and kissed her senseless. She could never confess how much she’d thought of him that summer. It was a girlhood infatuation that rivaled any other. Truth be told, he never was fully forgotten. He was always there in the back of her mind, until they’d moved here and she’d seen a random tabloid in the corner store. On the cover was a picture of a beautiful man – the King of Montenarro – and staring back at her were the same blue eyes from her girlhood dreams, if a little colder than she remembered.

That night she’d poured over the gossip rag and scoured the internet, waiting only until Anna went to bed before falling into a sinkhole of information. She read all about what he’d done since they had met, and how he’d stepped up to rule in a country that needed more than a little bit of hope. He was fair and wise and just, and passionate about making this country prosperous for all. Most recently he’d been working on his initiative to give all people in the country more say in government, and she thought that was admirable and knew how hard a task it must be. For years she’d watched and read the headlines, tracking his progress, while trying to avoid the speculation on things like his future and his love life. There was always talk about who the King would one day marry, and though Elsa knew she would be nothing but a forgotten blip in his past, it still hurt her to think of the boy who’d touched her heart belonging to another.

“Touched my heart,” she said aloud, scoffing with the foolishness of the thought. “As if I haven’t been secretly giving it to him for years. God, what a mess this all is.”

At confessing her feelings, which had mostly developed from afar, Elsa’s hands began to shake. Even if she’d thought of him often, it never in a million years occurred to her that they would ever reunite. But yesterday they had, and it was even more intense than she remembered. All day she felt his eyes on her, watching her every move. At all stages of the visit she could feel his presence, and it spun her whole world upside down. Never mind seeing him with the children, and watching him come out of his shell to offer them genuine affection. That had truly done her in, and almost made her forget herself. A few times they’d managed to speak, but Elsa always found an opportunity to run or to distract. She longed for that closeness, but was scared to death of letting someone – especially him – behind her many walls.

By the time she made her way back to her and Anna’s home, it was nearly time for Emma’s arrival and Elsa was nowhere closer to composure. She tried to breathe deeply, using some mindfulness to clear her thoughts, but her pulse was racing and her hands still shook. No matter – it was too late to run now. She had to face this head on. There was simply no other way.

A minute later she opened up the door, and within seconds, Anna was on her, enveloping her in a huge bear hug and prompting an emotional reaction in Elsa. Her sister was scared too, but Elsa could tell that underneath it all Anna was excited. She didn’t even need to see her face to know that there was relief in sharing their story. Anna had never liked living a lie, and the burden of it weighed on her always. Knowing that, Elsa hugged her back and whispered words of encouragement.

“It’s going to be all right, Anna. Remember what Mama used to say.”

“All you can do is the next right thing,” Anna replied shakily before nodding. “This is the right thing.”

Elsa had just enough time to agree before a knock sounded at the front door. “Are you ready?” Elsa asked and Anna nodded.

“I’m ready.”

“Okay, then let’s do this.”

………….

Sitting in the kitchen of Elsa and Anna’s small but charming house, Emma could practically taste the anxiety in the air. Whatever was going on with her friends was electric, and the room crackled with unsaid words Emma was increasingly eager to hear. Despite that, she could tell her friends needed a bit of an ice breaker, and she used one of her surest tactics to provide one.

“I’m sorry I’m a little later than we planned. Henry was on another level this morning. I love him more than anything, but he’s just so…”

  
“Helpful?” Anna offered.

“Curious?” Elsa countered.  
  
“I was going more for something like ‘verbose.’ I swear he’s always got a dozen stories he can tell and today was no different. Actually, it was worse, because Killian was there last night, and you know how he gets with Killian.”

“He loves him,” Elsa said automatically, prompting Emma to smile warmly.

“He told Killian last night. It was so easy for him. He didn’t think twice, he just said exactly how he feels.”

“Oh, Emma,” Anna said, happily taking her hand after putting a tray of pastries on the counter. “That’s wonderful. What did Killian say?”

“That he loves him too.”

“I knew I liked that man for a reason,” Anna replied glibly. “Though, to be fair, it’s impossible not to love Henry. He’s the cutest, even if he hates me saying it.”

“Killian said something else,” Emma said, waiting for Elsa to sit down with their tea. She watched her friends slightly shaky hands pour each of them a cup before spilling the beans. “He told me he sees a future, for us, the three of us. He said… well he said he loves me, and that no matter what he wants to be with me. Forever.”

The sounds of secondhand joy that came from both her friends made Emma even happier, though it also prompted a blush she’d been trying pretty hard to fend off.

“And what did you say?!”

“That I love him too.”

“Forever?”

“Definitely.”

“Oh my God, this is exactly what I needed today,” Anna said happily. “You don’t even know.” Belatedly it seemed to dawn on her – that was actually why Emma was here in the first place.

“I really don’t want to push, but it sounded yesterday like the two of you had something you really want to tell me. I promise whatever is said here, it’s between us. I’m still kind of new to the whole having good friends thing, but I can keep a secret.”

There was only a moment of silence between them before Elsa replied. She centered herself with a deep breath in to start and then let it out and looked directly at Emma. “You have to understand that all of her hesitation has nothing to do with you. We trust you. We do. It’s just been years of training ourselves to hide this part of our past, and keep the story in check so no one ever questions it.”

“Years?” Anna barked out hollowly. “More like our whole lives. Honestly, I barely remember a time without the secrets. It’s like they’ve always been here.”

“You’re right,” Elsa acknowledged, squeezing Anna’s hand gently. “This has been our burden to carry for as long as we can remember, and though time has passed, and we believe the physical threat is long behind us, old habits die hard.”

“Actually, in our case they don’t really seem to die at all,” Anna quipped. “You’re the first person we’ve ever told, and we can’t even seem to do that right. God, this is so hard. Why is this so hard?”

“Probably because there’s no easy way to say this,” Elsa admitted. Emma reached out for her hand in a show of comfort and Elsa looked up at her immediately. Emma wanted to assure her she was here to help, never to judge, and if they needed more time to make peace with their decision to share, that was fine too.

“Just tell me what you can. Start wherever you need to.”

Over the next hour, Emma patiently listened as they unfurled a truth that had been wrapped up tight for twenty years. They told her about their parents, two young Europeans who had met on foreign holiday. They were neither of them in their country of birth, and both eager to avoid the shackles of their real worlds, at least for a little while. Together they’d succeeded in doing this, and they had spent a week falling hopelessly in love with each other. From the way Elsa and Anna described it, Iduna and Agnar (yes, those were apparently their real names) had woven their strings together so tightly, the braid could not be broken.

The ‘problem’ stemmed from their father, for though he loved their mother endlessly, he had obligations – royal obligations. It turned out that Agnar was a Prince, of a nearby European principality that Emma had actually heard of. Arendelle was a small place, but it had undergone a revolution when she was a child, and even in the States there was endless conversation about it for a while. At first Emma was shocked, how was it possible that their Dad was a prince? But it took only a few moments for the surprise to dissipate. It explained why Elsa and Anna had always been so jumpy and yet very knowledgeable at multiple instances. It also explained why they were so hell-bent on keeping a secret, since the things Emma had heard about this country had hardly been positive.

According to Elsa and Anna, at the same time that Prince Agnar miraculously found love with their mother, his father, Runeard, had grown ill and passed away, leaving him as the heir apparent of the kingdom of Arendelle. Their father was eager for that role, and had been preparing for it all his life, until he was confronted with a truth that destroyed every plan he’d ever had. He could not remain the ruler of his country and pursue a life with the woman that he loved. He was bound as King to marry someone from a royal bloodline, and so he’d made a choice, to relinquish his crown and to hand it over to his younger brother. Their Uncle was a good man, and so they believed he would be a good King, but after a peaceful transition of power, and ten years of quiet where Elsa and Anna’s parents married, had children, and made a quiet country life for them all, something happened. Their Uncle had begun trusting the wrong people, and a coup had taken place. The palace was overrun, the royal family was imprisoned, and the country was thrust into darkness.

In the thick of that fighting, Elsa and Anna’s parents had also been targeted. They knew it was coming, as no coup could allow for anyone of the royal bloodline to live, but they didn’t have the time to all get out safely. Instead, their parents stayed behind as Elsa and Anna were taken with their father’s one-time nanny. She had lived with them all their lives, caring for them as if she were their own relation, and she brought them to France, through untraceable means, to the only other living relative they had left. Technically the older woman who became their lifeline was their father’s Aunt, but to them, she was forever Grandmere.

“It was a few weeks with Grandmere before we had confirmation that mother and father were gone,” Elsa said, sadness, even all these years, later taking hold of her quivering voice. Emma ached for her friend, and she couldn’t comprehend that kind of loss. She had never had parents at all, and that had been so painful in so many ways, but in some respects this was an even worse fate. “They were strong, and they protected us until the very end, but some battles simply can’t be won. Some heartbreaks cannot be avoided.”

“I’m so sorry, for both of you,” Emma said softly. “I cannot imagine the pain at knowing your parents and their goodness and then losing it like that.”

“It was difficult,” Anna agreed, “Especially being in a new country and having to hide who we were and basically stay at Grandmere’s estate all the time. But even when they passed, our parents were never truly gone. They’ve always been with us. Their love lives on in us, right Elsa?”

“Right,” Elsa agreed, offering a smile to her sister. “We stayed in France with Grandmere for years, and even though we were hurting, it was still a happy time. Grandmere adored us and spoiled us like any grandmother should. She gave us all the love and attention a person could stand, but she also took her role as our protector very seriously. As Anna said, we never really left the manor. It was a great estate, but for all intents and purposes we were under house arrest for years. We had private tutors for our schooling and no nanny except for Grandmere. The household staff were either sworn to secrecy or told an unassuming story about how we were two distant cousins who had fallen on hard times. The core of the story was true, of course. We had been orphaned through a series of tragic circumstances, but everything else was an illusion, including our names.”

Emma’s look of surprise had Anna clarifying quickly. “Our full names are Elisandra and Annadella, but our parents always called us Elsa and Anna. Those other names were family heirlooms, but these names were our truth. That’s what Mama used to say. Still those nicknames were a luxury we couldn’t afford when at our Grandmere’s. So we chose new ones. Selene for Elsa, and Soleil for me.”

“Totally different,” Emma said casually.

“They were,” Elsa agreed, “But they kept an important part of our story intact. My father called me his ‘little Luna’ since the night I was born, under a full blue moon. An ice-solstice, as it’s referred to in Arendellian tradition. It’s supposedly a sign of great fortune for babies born to be born on those rare nights. Meanwhile Anna was born at high noon on the sunniest, most beautiful day of the year. The kind of day that was a gift, as Papa would say. From that day forward, Anna became his ‘sunshine.”

“So let me guess, Selene means moon and Soliel means sun.”

“Yes. It was hard to get used to, but Grandmere helped us every step of the way. She was devoted to us completely, and in truth, I think she loved us as much as any mother could. She had no children of her own, but she had us, and thank God we had her.”

“But you never went out, you never left your home?”

“Not for a long time. Eventually we were allowed small indulgences. We went to Grandmere’s house in Paris every Christmas season for the shopping and the sights. We visited her sister, Aunt Josephina, on the Spanish coast in August, when the weather was hottest and the beach was pure bliss,” Anna acquiesced. “But we never went to school or sports or that kind of thing. All we really had was each other, until I made a dear friend in our next-door neighbor, Aurora. She didn’t know the truth about our past, but Grandmere fully trusted her parents. They were diplomats, and always had ample security. A few summers I was allowed to go for a week or two to their summer home. Elsa was always invited, but she preferred the quiet for a change, deciding to get lost in her reading instead of adventuring with me.”

Emma noticed that Elsa flinched slightly at the words, but it escaped Anna’s notice. Emma looked at her curiously, wondering if Elsa would comment on the claim, but when no words came from Elsa, she decided to ask some more directed questions. Emma wondered about what had happened to Arendelle and how they came to be in Montenarro. Arendelle, luckily, was much recovered from the tumult of the past. The heinous coup had been righted by the people, and a new democratic government instilled. Unfortunately, their Uncle had not made it through that dark time unscathed. He grew very ill while in confinement and died some years later. The country was now transitioning to a fully democratic state, but there was, at least reportedly, great respect amongst the public for the royals that were. Their parents and Uncle were highly regarded, with a memorial service each year held in honor of their bravery and dedication to the country. Whispers about whatever happened to Elsa and Anna, or if they had even existed remained, but it had been a long time since any real attention was paid to their fates.

Despite those changing tides, Elsa and Anna’s grandmother had always been hesitant in exposing the truth. She believed it wise not to open the door to a grand reveal. Why tempt fate when they could instead pursue, simpler, less complicated lives? Elsa and Anna had waivered at first, but ultimately decided that the best way to honor their parents was to do as they’d instructed – share their love and their abilities to make the lives of people who needed it better. Their personal experiences sparked their interest in working with orphaned children, and they both went to school to study in Paris, staying at their Grandmere’s home all the while. It was only after the unexpected death of their dear Grandmere that they’d decided on a change. The jobs here in Montenarro had been discovered, and the rest was history. Anna and Elsa had chosen their simple, balanced life, and they’d been keeping the secret all the while.

“So, I guess keeping the truth from the rest of the world now is less about any danger to your life, and more about your privacy. I can only imagine how it would go – the press discovering two long lost princesses who lived through that kind of turmoil. It would be…” Emma trailed off and Anna filled in.

“A nightmare.”

Now there was no denying the reaction from Elsa, and in truth, it looked like her friend had been struck by something. She was suddenly pale, and clearly agitated, and Emma suspected it was all to do with a certain King who’d paid her extra mind upon his visit to the Center yesterday.

“Elsa, are you all right?” Anna asked, pulling Elsa in from her own wandering thoughts. Still she looked almost haunted, and was unable to convince either Anna or Emma that she was well.

“I’m fine,” she said, but the whispered words were hardly reaffirming.

“You are definitely not _fine_. Elsa, you’re white as a sheet.”

“I’m always pale, you know that,” Elsa tried to joke but it was a pitiful attempt at humor.

“Elsa, seriously. What’s wrong?” Anna asked, looking, for the first time all day, actually afraid. That distress in her sister’s eyes prompted Elsa to hug Anna fiercely, and admit an unexpected truth for both Anna and Emma.

“I have to tell you something. Something I never told you.”

“Okay,” Anna agreed quickly, with nothing like anger in her expression. “You know you can tell me anything. Anything at all.”

This time the revelations shared were questioned mostly by Anna, though Emma had questions as well. Who wouldn’t, given the surprise twist in an already surprising tale?

It turned out that in one of those times where Anna was traveling with her friend, Elsa had gone with their Grandmere back to Paris. One afternoon they received an invitation from their grandmother’s oldest friend for a garden party. With Elsa now 16, it was their grandmother’s belief that she was ready for such an event. Elsa promised to keep to her story and mind her manners, but when she arrived, she was so nervous about doing or saying the wrong thing that she wandered off, away from the party all together. Deep within the hedgerow she’d met a young man who was also hiding. The bond of shared discomfort and an instant attraction made for a magical day where young love had a chance to bloom. At the time Elsa knew him only as Liam, and while she had planned to ask her Grandmere for more information on him, the old woman was in a state of panic when they finally reunited. It turned out more people were there than she ever realized, including some who could have discovered the secret. Elsa saw how much relief her Grandmere felt when she fibbed and said she’d been alone out in the gardens, she hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth. The lie was typical, especially for a teenager, but it was clear it still ate away at Elsa.

“I felt awful keeping it from her. I kept trying to get up the courage to confess, but then you came home early after Aurora broke her ankle on her horse, and the summer ended, and nothing ever came of it,” Elsa said, looking to Anna. “Eventually I came to believe that even if he seemed remarkable to me, he was just a boy. Our secret was still safe, and I had had my day in the sun.”

“So you didn’t realize who he was?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“It never came up,” Elsa asserted. “He only referred to himself as Liam. He told me he was seventeen and that his mother knew our hostess and that was it. I didn’t ask questions. Well, not about those kinds of things. We talked for hours, about everything and nothing. I didn’t have the time for basic details.”

The feeling was familiar to Emma. When she first met Killian, she felt the same way. They were so busy connecting with each other, so busy feeling the spark between them, that the words almost seemed to matter less. Knowing that Elsa had experienced that explained every part of her reaction yesterday, from the barely veiled interest to the severe trepidation every time she was within touching distance of the King.

“But when did you know the truth of who he was, Elsa? Please, please tell me it wasn’t just yesterday,” Anna begged, surprising both Elsa and Emma with her acceptance of the story and genuine want for Elsa to not have been blind-sided.

“It wasn’t,” Elsa admitted. “I found out when we first came to interview here. I saw a picture in the paper and I knew. I should have told you then, Anna, I know I should have, but we both felt it, our calling to this place. I swear it was like Mama and Papa brought us here. There were all those signs, and that feeling we just hadn’t had since we were kids. I thought that if I shared the truth we’d have to leave, and I couldn’t do that, to you or to me.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Emma admitted. “Perhaps that makes me selfish, but I know for a fact how much staying has meant not just for me but for the kids. This place is like one big family, and it’s thanks to you two. It wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“I comforted myself with that thought for years. We were making a difference, we were using the magic Mama taught me about. But that doesn’t mean what I did was right. I shouldn’t have kept it from Anna, and now we may have no choice but to run.”

“No choice but to run?” Anna parroted, astounded at the idea. “Elsa, what are you talking about? We are not running. _You_ are definitely not running!”

“We’re not?”

“Absolutely not. And you know why? Because this is love, Elsa. If yesterday is anything to go off of, and if your day together years ago was even half as romantic as you described, it’s full blown, love at first sight, once in a lifetime stuff. And you want to talk about signs? How about the fact that we could have landed anywhere in the world for work – we had no limits and no plan – and we ended up here, in the same place where Liam is King. The chances were so slim, I know that was Mama and Papa’s doing.”

Tears had spilled onto Elsa’s cheeks at Anna’s declaration, but it didn’t stop Anna from continuing on, even though her own eyes were misting over with the emotion of it all. “Our parents would never ever want you to run from love, Elsa, and neither do I. You deserve it, and here it is, back again after years of being parted. You’ve never really connected with anyone else, and I thought it was just a matter of waiting for the right man to come along, but now I know you were waiting for him again.”

“But it’s hopeless, Anna. He is the King.”

“So? You’re a princess!”

“A princess in hiding. A princess who’s story belongs squarely in the past. I can’t ask him to keep the secret, but I also can’t keep it from him. I’m caught up in this web I can’t get out of, and Liam is too honorable. He would never deceive his people like that. I wouldn’t ever ask him to.”

“So we let the secret go,” Anna said adamantly. “It’s simple Elsa. We just tell the truth.”

“You don’t mean that,” Elsa replied earnestly.

“I do.”

“You just said it would be a nightmare.”

“That was before I realized our alternative, and believe me, Elsa, there is no question of which is worse. If giving up obscurity and facing the press is what it takes to get you your love, it will be the easiest decision I ever make.”

“That’s assuming he even wants me,” Elsa said prompting Emma to chime in.

“Oh, he wants you. Believe me, and if you don’t believe me, then believe Killian. He talked about it most of the night, and he knows his brother better than anyone.”

“Maybe he wants me, but he doesn’t know everything, and I have no idea how he’ll take it.”

“Well there’s only one way to find out,” Anna said, standing up and pulling Elsa with her. “You have to tell him.”

“Now?” Elsa squawked, looking at Emma for help and Emma intervened.

“Let me call, Killian. He’s at the palace today. He can help us figure out a time.” No sooner had she said the words than her fingers were making the call. It rang only twice before the sexiest voice she knew picked up.

_“Miss me already, Swan?”_

“Something like that. Listen, I’m here with Elsa and Anna and I think it would be good if Elsa and Liam talked.”

Emma heard murmuring and then something that sounded like the phone banging on a table. She flinched from the sound, but then heard Killian once more. _“Sorry, love. Suffice it to say my brother is enthused by the prospect.”_

“When?” Emma asked, and she heard a resounding _‘Now!’_ from the background. It was Liam’s voice and it prompted a smile for Emma. Elsa and Anna looked at her curiously as Killian responded.

_“The sooner the better it seems.”_

“Okay, so in an hour then?”

_“Aye.”_ Again there was fussing on the other line, and it sounded like someone was pacing, until Killian spoke once more. _“Might I suggest my place, so they may have some privacy.”_

“Perfect,” Emma agreed. “She’ll be there.”

_“Brilliant,”_ Killian quipped, _“And Emma?”_

“Yes?”

_“I love you.”_

“I love you too,” she murmured, hanging up and putting her phone away in her pocket.

“And?” Anna asked.

“He wants to meet at Killian’s in an hour.”

“So soon?!” Elsa asked and Emma laughed.

“By the sounds of thing, an hour may as well be an eternity in Liam’s eyes.”

“He’s not the only one,” Anna agreed drawing Emma and Elsa’s gazes immediately. “What? Oh, come on, Emma, like you aren’t totally excited to see what happens. The suspense is practically killing me.”

“It may actually kill me,” Elsa said, putting her hand to her heart.

“It’s going to be all right,” Emma insisted, prompting Elsa to look up at her with hopeful but still skeptical eyes. “Don’t ask me how I know, but I do. I can just tell.”

“See!” Anna said excitedly. “And you know Emma’s gut is legendary. She can sense these things.”

“She didn’t sense Killian was a prince,” Elsa replied, not in a mean way, but as a frantic response from someone currently dealing with a lot.

“Touché,” Emma said with a laugh. “But I did know he was it for me. So, let me put it this way: I don’t know exactly how it will happen, but I do know you and Liam are going to work things out. Is that better?”

“Only if you really mean it,” Elsa whispered.

“I do,” Emma said softly.

“Ok,” Elsa agreed after a moment’s pause, straightening her spine in a show of determination. “Ok, I’ll do it.”

And with that the three of them set out to help Elsa get ready, knowing today would be a turning point, and that soon a much-needed conversation would lay it all out there once and for all.

**_Post-Note: Not going to lie, this chapter took SO long to craft, partially because of my muse being fussy, but mostly because, in the end, I needed two chapters to do this whole bit justice. I know I am leaving you on a bit of a cliff hanger, but I promise that next chapter we get the entirety of the Elsa/Liam story, and some added CS scenes to boot. Anyway, I really do hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and that it brightened your day, even if there were parts that were a bit sad. I love seeing what you all think, and knowing so many of you have enjoyed reading so far. I am still pretty busy with other things at the moment, but I promise to do my best to get an update written soon. Hope to see you next time, until then, hoping you are safe, healthy, and well! xE_ **


	12. Chapter 12

**_A/N: Hello everyone! Here we are at last, back with the second part of what has been such a joy to write. We pick up exactly where we left off, with Elsa and Liam about to meet again and share the whole truth. Don’t worry though, there is still a healthy dose of CS in this chapter, and enough feels to last a lifetime. I mean, honestly, I outdid myself here. It’s fluff fit for the Fluff Queen title so many of you have bestowed on me, AND when this chapter is done, I will get to move onto the real cutesy stuff. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and hope you all enjoy!_ **

“And you’re sure it’s her?” Killian asked, looking at the old photograph Liam had just unearthed.

This image was not located within the bound family photos tucked away in the royal offices. Instead, it was a rare print that existed outside of any professional accounting. If Killian’s hunch was correct, it had been shown to no one, the precious property of Liam alone. Killian certainly had never seen it, or the antique chest it was stashed in. That made sense, seeing as no one was allowed in this area of the palace without express permission, and even his mother and Gran would never dare to intrude without invitation.

This compartment was so infrequently used, that Liam himself seemed to have forgotten about it during his search. For hours prior to Killian’s arrival, his brother was sifting through every royal archive he could think of. He had looked through every photo book possible, but to no avail. There was no trace of any Elsa in the archives. That didn’t stop the King, not when he was beholden to this nagging feeling that he and Emma’s friend had met before. While Killian thought they may change course and focus on the future instead of the past, Liam shook such a suggestion aside. He began to hunt elsewhere, looking through other parts of the palace before arriving here, in his personal apartments.

Sure enough, after some time spent down unhelpful rabbit holes, the pictures Liam remembered were found. They were all somewhat dated, and each of them were taken well before Liam had ascended to the throne. Liam had taken these in their youth, of that Killian was sure. Back then photography had been a favorite hobby of Liam’s, but it had been many years since Killian had seen his brother directing a camera. Within the collection, there were some shots of their mother and Gran, as well as Liam’s few friends from school and from the little time he’d been in the service. There were photos of Killian sailing, both as a boy and when he was a bit older. The transformation from gangly teen to young adult was all here, and his favorite of the bunch were the ones with both brothers together, happily ensconced in the before times, prior to Liam’s becoming King. But this photo now in Killian’s hand was different. The age of the photo had faded some of the color slightly, same as the others. It was dated enough so that Killian knew it was at least ten years old, but the emotion behind it was still palpable.

“It’s her,” Liam said, his eyes never straying from the photo even while Killian kept hold of it.

The subject of the image was a beautiful girl, young, maybe fifteen or sixteen. Her icy blonde hair was loose and curling, her blue eyes were bright and her smile was familiar. The more Killian looked at the picture, the more he had to admit that the subject did bear a striking resemblance to Elsa. He flipped to the back to see if there was any note, but all it bore was a name. A different name than the one he expected.

“The caption says ‘Selene.’”

“I know that,” Liam snapped, reaching for the photo once more. Killian handed it over, knowing not to push his brother, and the moment his fingers held the long-lost picture again Liam seemed to calm considerably. “I don’t know how it’s possible, or why she told me what she did. Hell, I don’t even really know her name. But I know this is her. This is my Elsa, my Selene.”

Killian watched his brother for a few moments, and he could see that this girl from the past, a girl he had never told Killian about, was special. It was clear as day that Elsa also meant something to him too, and if by chance they were one and the same… well that would be a trick of fate more intriguing than most others. He hoped, for Liam’s sake, that it was true.

Looking back to the photos in the trunk, there were two more that bore the same ethereal lighting as the one Liam was holding. One was of Liam, caught in the middle of a laugh as he reached for the camera back. Whoever was taking the picture had likely stolen it, but his brother was by no means mad. Bloody hell, this girl must really be special, because for years Liam had hated having his picture taken. It was a part of their lives he couldn’t avoid, but he certainly never enjoyed it. The other photograph was taken in a garden somewhere. The same girl was the subject of the photo once more, but this time she sprawled out on a blanket in the grass. There were flowers all around her at the edges of the lawn, but her eyes were glued to the book in front of her. Somehow Killian knew this photo was from before they’d spoken – for the girl had no idea she was having her picture taken. It was a true candid, and bore another hint that Liam may actually be right.

“Brother look,” Killian said, handing Liam the new picture. Liam’s eyes traced the image, as if he was reliving a cherished memory.

“She’s beautiful.” Liam’s praise was unwavering and heartfelt. It struck Killian down to his bones, and his own happiness rose. It was amazing to see his brother feel such passion, especially after years of wondering if Liam would ever find some in the first place.

“Aye she is, but note her hair.” Liam looked and low and behold it was braided, intricately. To Killian this was perhaps the best proof they had, for he had never seen anyone but Elsa tie their hair back the same way. “Elsa’s braids have always been unique. I’ve never seen her without them, and I’ve never seen another’s done in a similar style.”

“I told you,” Liam said, with something like pride in his voice. “I told you it was her.”

Before he could respond that Liam may very well be right, Killian’s phone began to ring, buzzing in his pocket with the thrum of tiny hornets. Pulling it out, he saw Emma’s face, knowing it was the woman he loved on the line, and he answered without delay. “Miss me already, Swan?”

_“Something like that,”_ Her voice was tantalizing, and he could hear the subtle tones of unshared laughter. He knew she was smiling, and it filled him with peace. _“Listen, I’m here with Elsa and Anna and I think it would be good if Elsa and Liam talked.”_

“Elsa?” Liam mouthed to him. Killian nodded, and then in a move so quick Killian almost failed to avoid it, his brother reached for the phone. Liam was fast enough to knock the bloody thing from his grasp, but after a moment of wrestling to get the damned device, Killian was victorious. He shot his brother a look of warning. Liam was far too riled up, and he needed to tone it down. _Way_ down.

“Sorry, love,” he said back to Emma once more, knowing his breathing was more labored than it had been seconds prior. “Suffice it to say my brother is enthused by the prospect.”

_“When?”_ Emma asked, and the word was barely out before Liam took it upon himself to respond.

“Now!” Liam said, yelling loud enough for Emma to hear and Killian bit back a groan. Gods above, his brother was a wreck. It would be hilarious if it wasn’t quickly become a security hazard.

“The sooner the better it seems.”

_“Okay, so in an hour then?”_ Emma asked. The only thing Killian had going for him was that Liam seemed to miss that. Killian took from his silent look of hope that he had not heard a whole sixty minutes would still pass before he saw Elsa again. Relaying that would not be fun.

“Aye.” He whispered ‘One hour’ to Liam and that set his brother in motion again. Pacing around the office and then looking towards the hall when they heard the footsteps of some staff approaching. An idea occurred to Killian that he hoped would be appealing to both Elsa and his brother. “Might I suggest my place, so they may have some privacy.”

_“Perfect,”_ Emma agreed, at the same time that Liam’s expelled a relieved breath. He was still piqued, but it was one less element to consider. He would have actual peace and quiet at Killian’s, and the distractions of his duties would be at a minimum. _“She’ll be there.”_

Liam managed to hear that last part, and whether he knew it or not, his lips curled up into a small smile, one Killian hadn’t seen in so long on his brother’s face. He was not totally satisfied yet, but he was on the road to getting there, and it all came back to Elsa and the magic she seemed to wield over him.

“Brilliant. And Emma?”

_“Yes?”_

“I love you.” He heard her soft intake of breath, as if their newly spoken words still overpowered her. He felt the need to be with her, to see her, to hold her, but he reminded himself that there was only an hour separating him and his Swan. Soon enough he’d make good on those urges. Soon enough he’d be with his love again.

_“I love you too.”_

It was impossible to feel anything but goodness in the face of those words from Emma, and as he hung up the call, he knew his own smile fully outpaced that of his brother. For as strongly as Liam may feel, he didn’t have one thing that Killian held in his own heart: assurance that he and Emma were in this together, and that they were only at the beginning of a story he had every intention of writing for the rest of his days.

“I’ll have cause for that kind of smile soon enough,” Liam said, pulling Killian back from thoughts of his Swan.

“You think so?” Killian rebutted, mostly in jest but also intrigued at Liam’s confidence given that there were clearly many unanswered questions between him and Elsa.

“I know so. That’s the smile of a man in love, given the chance to be with the woman who owns him.” The statement was accurate, and Killian made no move to deny it. Liam’s gaze turned away, back out to the window and into the later morning sun. It was beautiful outside, but Killian had a hunch that his brother saw none of the greenery or gold. He was thinking of Elsa, and nothing else. “I may not be there yet, and perhaps it won’t be easy, but I won’t lose her. Not again.”

“She’s made quite an impression on you, both times it would seem.”

“Aye,” Liam agreed, but where Killian expected his brother to share the story, Liam remained mum, holding the photos of the girl from his past and running his thumb across them gently. Killian didn’t press for details. It wasn’t his place to beg for answers. Soon enough to truth would be sorted. He only hoped that his brother would have his wish, and that somehow, he and Elsa would find a way to pursue this attachment between them.

“It’s probably best we get a move on. We’d hate to hit traffic and keep her waiting.”

“Under no circumstances would I allow that to happen,” Liam replied gruffly, but the comment had its desired effect.

The feeling in the room shifted immediately, and Liam was set into motion, calling on his guards to enact a protection plan that involved getting him and Elsa to Killian’s compound safely. It was an interesting blend to behold, a mix of Liam’s kingly competence and command and his earnest desire to make his heart whole. If Killian had to guess, it was only a taste of what may come should Elsa decide to give him a chance. He only hoped the lady was amenable, and that his brother might be as lucky in his choice of partner, as Killian was with his Swan.

……………

An hour had never passed so slowly before. At least not in Liam’s experience.

The duties of a King had thrown him into all sorts of situations. Unbearably long peace talks and diplomatic visits, tours of the royal navy that were so thorough he practically inventoried each part of each ship himself. Then there were the required social events that the people of Montenaro expected him to champion or at the very least show up for. Many of these things could be considered tedious, and in the privacy of his own mind, he’d considered them effective mechanisms for the slowing down of time, but they were all nothing compared to this.

Waiting for the woman who had restarted his heart, Liam knew a sense of hope and agitation that was difficult to endure. He was looking at the clock all the time, glancing at the watch he’d been gifted by his grandfather ages ago as if he could will the second hand to speed by faster. Instead it had the opposite effect. He’d finally felt momentum this morning with Killian, first in confessing his attraction to Elsa, then in the discovery of a memory he was certain that they shared. To be stuck now in limbo, waiting for answers, and more importantly, a chance to see her again, Liam knew every other trial he’d ever faced was merely preparation for this.

“The perimeter has been handled as you requested, Your Highness,” Jefferson reported. On a good day, when Liam was operating with enough sleep and a clear head, it was rare that he heard his head of security sneak up on him. Today he stood no chance, but he didn’t flinch. Indeed, he only spared his old friend a fleeting glance. Jefferson continued, “The detail has been removed to the outskirts of the property. The two of you will be completely alone.”

“Good. And as we discussed, I want no interruptions.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Do you have eyes on her currently?” Liam asked, and Jefferson nodded.

“Yes, sir. Two escorts as you requested. Totally undetectable. They’re en route now. Just a matter of minutes.”

“And my Grandmother?” Liam asked, hopeful for the right answer.

“Both of the dowager Queens are fully accounted for. Their day trip to the coast has proceeded as planned. They’re at least an hour away, neither of them the wiser regarding the morning’s events.”

“Thank God for small mercies,” Liam said, truly grateful for that. Not that he didn’t love his two maternal figures, but he was not interested in the interference that they’d displayed with Emma and Killian.

“What some call small mercies, others call diligent planning. Their team has been briefed on the basics. Neither Queen is to know about your visit here, and they are to use any means necessary to ensure their Highnesses remain out of the area.”

“Such as?”

“Feigned issues with transport, ‘accidental’ stops by your mother’s favorite chocolatier, and conversational distraction tactics wherein which Gus and Boothe ask your grandmother about her thoughts on Killian and Emma’s impending wedding.”

“Lord knows she has plenty of those. Doesn’t matter that he’s yet to properly ask her.”

“All in due time.”

“Do you know something I don’t?” Liam asked, for the first time somewhat distracted from his own impending interlude. He was intrigued by the rare smirk that Jefferson offered when discussing Killian’s eventual proposal.

“I know everything, sir. That’s my job,” Jefferson said, his eyes flicking away briefly, a small tell that he’d heard something through his earpiece. “The car is pulling up now.”

Instinctively, Liam moved forward, already changing his initial plan of staying out back. He didn’t want to overwhelm Elsa, but he also needed to see her. When out front, he saw Killian once more. His younger brother chuckled at the sight of him. Shaking his head in amusement, Killian murmured that he knew it would be this way. Liam didn’t bother to argue. He was beyond defending himself, and then the car came into view and she was there, stepping out and looking even more beautiful than she had that fateful day…

_“Another party filled with nothing but duplicitous debutantes and scheming mothers. Is this what my life is to be now? Is this all I have to look forward to?”_

_Liam grumbled the words aloud but posed the question to no one but himself. He had deliberately removed himself from what could only be described a disastrous soiree, and the only silver lining was he was certain that he had evaded the last of the leeching well-wishers who descended from the moment he and his mother walked into today’s garden party._

_His mother had assured him prior to arrival that their hostess was known for her decorum and that no one would dare to approach him without the right advances from him. The people here in France were different, not so desperate, and unimpressed with royalty. Ha! All evidence over the past twenty minutes had proved the total opposite to be true, and eventually he grew tired of his mother’s pained and apologetic glances and simply removed himself. Perhaps it was ungentlemanly, but it was either that or go mad, and he felt he’d made the safer choice._

Will I ever know peace again? I’m not even King yet and it’s already this bad. When I take the throne…

_He couldn’t even finish that thought, instead shaking the uneasy feelings away. There was no way around it, he was destined for discomfort, it was the role he was born into, and he would simply have to find a way to weather it. The last thing he wanted was to bring dishonor on his family, and for that reason, he would give himself this moment of quiet and then return, facing the music and the torturous small talk that would accompany it._

_Walking through the hedge row, Liam noted the immaculate designs of this garden. They may not be at the level of his mother’s back home, but they boasted a different array of flora and fauna. His mother was enamored with roses of all kinds, but this garden boasted wilder varieties, with pops of color and ivy-like growth, creating spritely blossoms up and down the green arches all around. The sweet fragrance in the air hung about, strengthened by the edge of heat clinging to the summer breeze. If the air stilled, it would be downright uncomfortable, but as it was, the day was made for lazing and leisure. Too bad he was bound for neither._

_His thoughts remained critical as he rounded the corner of the garden topiaries, but when he spotted someone else across the way, all negativity fled his mind. Words of any kind were gone for a moment, and instead he felt only the pounding of his heart and a surge of intrigue. His veins thrummed with a blend of raw interest and excitement, a mixture as foreign as it was fascinating._

_For longer than was polite, he stood stock still, enraptured by the girl before him and taking in every part of her. She had yet to notice his pressence, giving him the freedom to take her all in, from her gorgeous white-blonde hair and fair skin, to the upturned sweetness of her lips. She was pouring over a book in the center of the garden, surrounded on all sides by brilliant blossoms that could hold no candle to her. His only regret was that he couldn’t see her eyes. Instinctively, he lurched forward, hell bent on meeting this gorgeous creature, but then his mind stopped him and he moved for the camera at his hip. To waste this morning, and the trick of light as it filtered down on her would be a crime. With quick precision he snapped the picture, and the sound pulled her attention straight to him._

_“Oh please don’t take my picture, I…” Her words were etched with concern until he brought the camera down and revealed himself. It filled him with a rush of pride when he noticed her eyes going wider. Appreciation and interest, that was what was swirling in them, at least he hoped that was what it was._

_“You made for an image so striking I couldn’t resist.” He confessed, as he walked over to her. Without waiting for invitation, he sat beside her, invigorated when he was close enough to catch the scent of her perfume in the air, and hear the quiet intake of breath she made in surprise. “If you insist, I’ll delete the shot, but perhaps you should see it first?”_

_His mystery woman blinked up at him, still caught in the newness of this interaction, but she quickly got hold of herself and a trace of pink graced her cheeks. Her blush was so beautiful, he watched as it grew, but she cast her eyes down to his camera and her expression softened. She appeared to be looking at herself for the first time in a long time, and he yearned to know if she comprehended just how breathtaking she was._

_“I look so…”_

_“Beautiful? Stunning? Gorgeous?” Her gaze flashed back up to him faster than could be comprehended, and her icy blue eyes searched his for something like deception. She would find none. He meant every word, and indeed felt none of them did her justice._

_“I was going to say peaceful,” she murmured, wetting her lips. He bit back a groan, but from the response she shared he wondered if it was successful. A shaky hand moved up to brush her hair back, and he wished it was his. He tracked how she tucked a wayward tendril behind her ear, and then she spoke, with enough conviction to make his head spin. “Do you make a habit of flattering girls to such extremes, Mr…”_

_“Liam. Just Liam,” he said, a new thrill racing through him that nothing like recognition flickered in her gaze. “And you are?”_

_She looked poised to respond but stopped for the briefest moment as if debating whether to tell him. Then she supplied a whispered reply, her eyes casting down to her lap and leaving him missing them already, “Selene.”_

_“You’re the first,” he admitted abruptly, and the confession had its desired effect. Her eyes sprang back to his again and her lips curved ever so slightly. She was surprised, but also happy for the news. Emboldened by her response he took her hand in his, feeling the divine pleasure of their first touch. She felt it too, of this he was sure, and though he wanted to pull her into his arms, and never let go, he had the good sense to take his time and savor the moment…_

“The trouble is I didn’t have time to waste. If only I’d realized that then.”

“Did you say something, brother?” Killian asked, but Liam ignored him. He was speaking to himself after all, but it wasn’t worth having the conversation. This was his second chance, his chance to do things right.

With easy steps he walked towards Elsa, and he saw the way her eyes widened, with the same blend of curiosity and fear. Yesterday she’d regarded him with politeness but also trepidation. Today things were totally different. Perhaps she could see the truth in his eyes, the recognition and understanding. Whatever the reason, they were no longer a King and a beautiful children’s counselor. They were two teenagers continuing a moment from long ago, both hopeful but hurting, invested but insecure about where the road may take them. He wouldn’t allow the doubt to overcome him though, not when he had such a woman before him.

When he was close enough to touch her, he took her hand in his, this time not resisting the instinct to press a kiss to her soft skin. When his lips brushed softly on her hand, her energy shifted, and the cooled exterior she held together yesterday at the center faded away. She shared his yearning, but she was still holding back, and God above he would get to the truth, and most importantly make her realize that with him she would always be safe.

“You can’t leave me again,” he said, allowing his deepest thoughts to be blurted out. Bloody hell, all his manners and tact had abandoned him. He was too lost in her.

“I don’t want to leave,” she admitted, setting his whole being alight, but her face was cast in shadow as she whispered out the rest. “But I have so much to say… you may feel differently… you might -,”

“Nothing will change the way I feel, Selene,” two gasps were heard, but they came from Emma and from the woman Liam only knew as Anna. “No, that isn’t right. It’s Elsa. I might not understand, but I can feel that much is true.”

“He remembers,” Anna whispered loudly, to no one in particular. “Oh my God, he remembers!”

“Perhaps you two should continue this somewhere more private?” Killian offered. Liam spared a glance to his brother, who had wrapped his arm around Emma with a possessive sense of love. Emma looked totally at peace with his brother, and offered a smile and a nod to Elsa and then to Liam.

“The gardens are beautiful,” Emma supplied softly, “and Elsa hasn’t had the pleasure yet of seeing them yet.”

“Would you join me, love?” he asked, accepting the advice of the others, but only wanting to make Elsa happy with the choice.

“Yes. Yes, I will.”

Her affirmation filled him with purpose, and they walked together back behind the house, through the grounds to a private spot he felt would suit the purpose. He hoped that she would take comfort here, for though the surroundings were unfamiliar, they weren’t quite so different from the day they’d shared together. There were summer blossoms still in bloom, and the privacy of topiaries granting them some much needed alone time.

When they’d settled on a place, Liam sought a way to begin this conversation. He had so many questions and yet a significant amount of fear. He didn’t want to push her too quickly, for if he did, she may leave him again. That risk was too glaring to fathom, and his tongue was paralyzed with worry for the first time since seeing her again. Absentmindedly he plucked a flower from the hedgerow, with petals in a striking shade of blue, close to the color of her eyes. He offered it to her, and she smiled, a brief, but beautiful thing.

“It’s beautiful, thank you,” she said, holding it dearly.

“It is nothing compared to you, love.”

A blush tinted her cheeks and his mind swept back to their day in the sun years ago. Scattered in those memories was a particularly brilliant one, where he’d stopped resisting. He’d complimented her, speaking only the truth, and she’d turned the same shade of delicate pink. He couldn’t resist any longer and he’d kissed her cheek, then, when he felt her shiver of anticipation, he’d tasted her lips and felt the whole world tilt into focus.

“I know you must have questions, so many questions,” she whispered, drawing him back to the here and now. His thumb ran against her hand in an attempt at comfort and she squeezed slightly, as if grateful for the lifeline. “But I think it’ll be best if I just tell you everything and we go from there.”

He agreed with her approach, more than happy to let her lead, but he must admit to being amazed by all that she told him. The story of who she was and where she’d come from was incredible, and almost beyond belief. It explained so much and still sparked pain in his chest, not because she had deceived him, but because she had endured so much. He knew the pain of losing a parent, and yet his father was never one who inspired deep affection. He’d loved the man in an abstracted, childish way, but he had also resented him and the pain he put them all through. Elsa’s parents were the opposite, two people so devoted to love of each other and their family, that they would give anything to be together. In the end, they gave their lives for their daughters and for their country, and yet their daughters had given themselves just as surely, living a lie that had cost them so dearly.

He listened as Elsa explained the dips and valleys of her childhood. She framed it in the best of ways, listing all the good and everything there was to be grateful for, but Liam knew the truth. Elsa had to be the source of strength, especially for her younger sister. She was a caregiver by nature, with a good heart and a value for the truth, but she had been forced to hide who she was and keep it inside for far too long. The pain of that secret must have been excruciating, especially to someone as good as she.

While he was glad she had her grandmother and her sister, Liam could also tell that Elsa’s childhood was lonely. Strangely it was a familiar loneliness to the one he’d always suffered, though manifesting for radically divergent reasons. He and Killian had been lonely because everyone in life had wanted something from them instead of wanting to truly know them. People saw titles and a one-day crown and developed other motives. While there may always be ‘friends of the crown,’ true connections never came beyond their family. For Elsa and Anna, true connections couldn’t ever be forged for risk of discovery.

“When I met you that summer, I almost told you who I really was. I came so close, especially when we…” she trailed off, but he knew she was thinking about their stolen kisses, exchanged just before their years-long separation. “But I had made a promise to my Grandmere. I swore I’d never tell, and while she lived, I kept that promise.”

“I understand, love.”  
  


“You have to know, I had no idea who you were then. I know it sounds ridiculous, I mean how does a would-be princess not know a prince when she meets him? There are only a handful in the world, after all. But Grandmere saw no need for a royal education. We were just ordinary girls and we always would be.”

“I can assure you, Elsa, that you are anything but ordinary.” His words sparked something in her, and she moved slightly closer to him. He took it as a sign to wrap her in his arms and she acquiesced, leaning into him for support and giving him the world by beginning to truly trust him.

“I hoped I would find you again before we left the party, but as soon as I saw Grandmere we practically ran out the door. She’d been beside herself the entire afternoon, from the moment you and your mother arrived. She kept saying how lucky we were to have escaped your notice, only I didn’t know you were the person she was scared of. It was impossible to comprehend. Here I was, on the wings of the best day I’d ever had, and she was in crisis, more petrified than I’d ever seen her.”

“I am sorry she felt that kind of pain. But I can assure you, even if my mother had deduced the possibility, she would never have said anything. Your secret would have been safe.”

“Maybe,” Elsa said, releasing a deep breath. “But the truth always finds a way out in the end.”

“Only if you want it to,” Liam promised, drawing her eyes to his curiously. “You think that after everything you have been through, I would allow you to be hurt? I would move mountains to prevent that, love. Surely you can see that.”

“I know,” she replied. “But it’s… well it’s so very complicated, I wouldn’t blame you for changing your mind or how you feel or…”

That was the last straw for Liam. He could not allow this woman who had long held a part of him to doubt any longer. He brought her closer and kissed her lips, gently at first, but then with the fervor and passion of a man long starved for the touch of his woman. Elsa matched his desire, and together they washed away the fear that she was feeling. By the time they broke apart, he could see she was halfway to the truth, that he loved her, but he took the opportunity to make all things abundantly clear.

“Everything you’ve shared today has only proven the wisdom of my heart. I think I loved you as a boy, and now, I am certain that I do. It’s you, Elsa. It has always been you, and, whether or not you choose me, it will always be you.” She looked poise to reply, but he pressed a finger to her lips gently signalizing he was not done. “But as much as you’ve told me today, it is I with less to offer. You have given me everything in giving me your story, but I am restricted, bound to be King for years and years to come. I am free to marry anyone my heart desires, and God knows that that is you, but I cannot give you the same gift that your father gave your mother. I cannot leave my throne behind, both because of my people, but also because doing so would place the burden on Killian, and that is something I could never do.”

“I understand, Liam.”

Her tone was measured, revealing very little, and for a moment he was struck by the possibility that she may leave even though he could not. He had never resented the throne as much as he did in that moment, but then her hand came up to stroke his cheek and he held his breath, praying for a different outcome.

“Your situation is so different than my father’s. I know that. You are freer and yet more trapped than he could ever be. Free to make your choices, free to love as you see fit, but also beholden to your kingdom in ways he never was. The people loved my father, but they needed change he could not bring. _You_ can bring that change, and you work to do so every day. I know that soon you’ll see it through, I’ve followed all your bills and all your votes. You want to give the people more say, and they will love you for it. But even when that’s done, there will always be more for you to give. I could never ask you to give that up, not when I’ve seen for years how much you do for this country and for its people.”

“But where does that leave us? I’ve only just found you again and I…”

This time it was Elsa’s turn to silence the worries he was feeling with her own kiss. Her actions gave him hope, which washed throughout his being as he held her in his arms. Please God, let her choose him, let her risk whatever may come for this. He’d make it right for her. He swore he would. He just needed a chance.

“Do you feel this too?” she asked, when they came up for air. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were darkened, but her smile was serene and her voice rang out with confidence and care.

He nodded, spellbound by her and unable to say more than a resolute, “Yes.”

“My mother used to say that love was the world’s most powerful magic.” Her fingertips traced along his chest above his heart. He felt the lightest grazes and took strength, while thinking how much he’d give to bring Elsa’s mother back for her. “She told me love would always lead me towards the next right thing, and my heart… well it tells me that my next right thing is giving this a chance. No matter the risk. I want this. I want you.”

“You have me, love,” he promised, and when she looked at him with what he hoped were happy tears in his eyes, he felt his heart clench from the impact. “And as far as the risk, I’ll never let you face it. I’ll protect you, Elsa. I swear it.”

“I don’t know how we’ll do it,” she confessed. He only held her closer.

“We’ll find a way.”

“It’s not going to be easy,” she reminded him, though she leaned in ever more slightly.  
  
“The best things never are.”

“My sister is super nosey,” she blurted. “She has no boundaries, and she never met a question she was afraid to ask. But I love her, and I need her, and I know that’s random, but it’s probably best to just get it out there

Liam laughed. “Believe she has nothing on the women in my family, love. But none of that matters. Not if you love me.”

“I do,” she said her voice quiet but clear. “I love you.”

And for now, that affirmation was more than enough. Everything else would get figured out with time. In this moment, all that mattered was that they were together, and that Liam had no intention of them ever being truly parted again.

…………..

Maybe it was wrong of them to be spying on Elsa and Liam, but Emma couldn’t find it in her heart to be sorry for this. They were peeking out at the long-lost lovebirds from a distance. They could hear none of their words, but they saw their intimate embrace and felt their attraction even from this distance. It was beautiful to see two people who cared so deeply for each other share this moment, and seeing how perfectly Elsa fit with Killian’s brother, Emma was reassured that her gut was right. The two of them were in this for the long haul, and no matter what came, from Liam’s being King or Elsa’s long secret past, they would weather it all with love as an anchor.

It also meant so much to Emma that this moment could happen for Elsa and for Liam in a place that already meant so much to her. As the site of her and Killian’s first date, and the place that Killian called home, there was an energy here of goodness, and a call to happiness that everyone must answer. She and Henry had visited here a few times already, and the memories they made were all good ones, holding promise for more to come. Knowing that it was a safe place for her friend and for Liam to reconnect made Emma’s own peace bloom further, and she was fast beginning to consider this one of her favorite places in the world. It was right that after everything Elsa and Liam meet again among a gorgeous garden. History didn’t repeat itself per se, but it set a scene, and the poetry of the moment wasn’t lost on any of them. This was special and serene, with a symphony of birds chirping, summer winds swerving through the bramble, and… wait, was that…

“Anna? Anna, are you crying?”

“No,” her friend said, followed immediately by a choked-out hiccup. Only after that tell-tale sound did Anna look Emma in the eyes, totally caught. The tracks of her tears still lingered on her slightly freckled face. “Okay, yes, I am crying, but can you blame me? My sister just reunited with her soul mate after years of seperation. Look at how happy she is. No one deserves that more than Elsa. No one.”

“They really do look so happy,” Emma agreed, feeling Killian squeeze her hand. “And I’ve got a feeling they’re going to give our whole ‘whirlwind romance’ thing a run for its money.”

“Perhaps,” Killian acquiesced, “But I’ve a few tricks up my sleeve, love. Don’t count us out just yet.”

Emma looked at Killian and could see the depth of his promise swirling in his cerulean eyes. She had gotten lost in those blue pools more times than she could count, but this time she knew that he was hinting at something much bigger. They’d only just confessed to loving each other, but Emma saw the future so clearly in this man. She wanted to be brave and chase that happiness together. The question was, when would he ask her to really start that journey? She didn’t know for sure, but from his expression, she assumed it may be sooner than she ever dreamed possible. As if he could read her deductions, Killian only grinned and stole a fleeting kiss. It was too quick, but also just right, and Emma melted into his side, looking back to Elsa and Liam and then over to Anna.

“What do you think your parents would think of all this, Anna?”

“They’d be beside themselves,” Anna admitted. “Our father knew in his heart that Arendelle’s laws were fastidious and illogical. Marrying my mother did nothing but embolden his heart. He would have remained a brilliant leader, and someday Elsa would have taken his place. He never regretted his decision, but there were times even I could see the pain of giving it all up. He and Mama always called us their princesses, even if the title no longer belonged. Seeing this play out… I just know that wherever they are now, they’re happy. Actually, now that I think of it, Mama’s probably crying just as much as I am. Maybe even more.”

Moving back towards Anna, Emma brought her friend in for a hug, and the few tears that had misted over in her eyes as Anna discussed their parents fell, though with far more discretion than Anna’s. She couldn’t help it though. It was such a touching moment, and, fast as it was, they all knew that Elsa and Liam were going to go the distance. Whether it was fate, or maybe a little nudging from the parents they’d lost too young, Emma didn’t know. Either way they were all so grateful that Elsa and Liam had this chance and they knew neither of them would ever waste it.

“So, is this it? Or are there any other long-lost romances I should know about?”

Emma asked the question with a teasing flare, but she saw something pass across Anna’s eyes, and instinctively she knew that her friend did think of someone. Before she could answer though, the sound of a car pulling up in the driveway at high speed caught their collective attention. The three of them looked, and Emma’s jaw actually dropped when the driver was revealed as Killian’s Grandmother. Queen Meera was in the passenger seat, and from what Emma could tell there was no security with them. What in the world was going on?

“Your Majesties, what are you -,” Jefferson looked flummoxed for the first time in Emma’s experience with the man, but he didn’t get the chance to finish the statement. Queen Eleanor held up her hand and shot him a look designed to kill.

“Save it, Jefferson. If you so much as cross my path, I’ll have you excommunicated.”

“Eleanor, that might be a tad harsh,” Meera said with a softer look.

“Fine. The dungeons have been empty for centuries. He can stay there,” Eleanor said, straightening her spine. “After all, this – this _heathen_ kept me from watching my eldest grandson fall in love. Can you imagine the audacity? Denying an aging queen the pleasure of her hard work’s payoff. I found that girl at the same time that I found Emma, but I had to play a longer game. Getting Killian there was one thing, but getting Liam there was quite another. It required patience and expert timing. The wait was long, but I endured, and do you know why? For this moment. Look at him, smitten as can be. Already halfway in love, just as I planned.”

“Gran, Jefferson was simply following orders,” Killian offered. Queen Meera immediately walked over, hugging Killian tightly before offering Emma her own hug. “Besides, haven’t you heard? They fell in love ages ago.”

“I’d hardly call yesterday ages ago, though to be fair, it did feel like a small eternity waiting to get him to the center to meet that lovely girl,” Gran quipped before placing a kiss on Killian’s cheek and offering a smile to Emma and Anna. The look assured them all she was just playing at anger. This woman was feisty, and Emma and Anna both giggled at the sight of her authority. Eleanor meanwhile directed her next words to Anna. “I am sorry my dear, I only wish I had a third grandson for you, but not to worry. I have quite a few options waiting in the wings. We’ll find you a match soon enough.”

“Uh, well that’s, um, very, uh, kind of you but -,” Anna looked to Emma for some kind of help and Emma did her best to distract the meddling monarch from her latest target.

“Actually, Queen Eleanor, it turns out Liam and Elsa had already met, well before yesterday,” Emma said. 

“They _what_?!”

Eleanor and Meera yelled so loudly that it was enough to be heard across the gardens, and to pierce Liam and Elsa’s private bubble. The two of them looked over immediately, but where Elsa looked a bit shy at the audience, Liam was not interested in letting her go. He held her close and tipped her chin back to him. Then he pressed a kiss to her lips that had Elsa melting into him. When they broke apart, they continued talking to themselves, no doubt preparing themselves for the Queens’ inquisition. It warmed Emma’s heart to see how well they already suited each other.

“How did this happen?” Meera asked.

“And more importantly _when_ did it happen?” Eleanor quipped.

“In France, when they were still teenagers,” Anna explained. “Trust me, I’ll tell you the whole story just as soon as I get the rest of the details from Elsa, but in the meantime, maybe we could take it easy on her? My sister’s having quite a day so far.”

“So she is, so she is,” Queen Meera replied. “We will be on our best behavior, won’t we Eleanor?”

“Of course, we will.”

“Oh great,” Jefferson muttered to Killian. “And to think that all it took to get them there was evading and abandoning their protective detail, driving a state-vehicle at twice the legal limit with sirens blaring, and side swiping an undercover unit.”

“Gran?” Killian asked, a mix of shocked and awed by the old woman.

“I did not such thing. I am an impeccable driver. Meera?”

“It’s true. She was amazing. The side swipe in question was the fault of the undercover agents. They thought to call her bluff, only Eleanor wasn’t bluffing.”

“Queen’s follow through,” Eleanor said proudly before looking to Anna again. “Your sister will learn that soon enough.”

“I can honestly say I can’t wait to see that,” Anna said.

From there Liam and Elsa finally moved to rejoin the group, and Anna, Queen Meera and Queen Eleanor all moved forward to great them. Emma thought to do the same, but Killian held her back for a moment, whispering to her that five well-wishers at once may be a bit more than they could handle. Emma agreed after watching for just a few moments, and though everyone was showering them with love, it was a lot of hubbub for sure. Besides, hanging back meant being just with Killian for a few more minutes, and that was something she could never regret.

“Do you think it will always be like this?” Emma asked, nodding towards the frenzy prompted by Liam and Elsa’s reuniting.

“Depends on what you mean, Swan. Will there always be grand reunions and long-lost loves? Probably not. Nearly everyone is accounted for, save for Anna, and as my grandmother promised, it’s only a matter of time before she finds her match too.”

“But even so, I have a feeling your mother and your grandmother aren’t anywhere done with scheming.”

“Their work is never finished, love. Love was simply a first step in their grand design.”

“First comes love,” Emma intoned, quoting a rhyme that might be American but was still recognizable to him.

“Then comes marriage,” he murmured, bringing up her hand and pressing a kiss where she hoped he might put a ring one day soon. Wait did she hope for that? Oh God she did! He ran his thumb across her skin, no doubt feeling her shiver of anticipation as her eyes watched his every move.

“Killian?” She whispered, her eyes glancing up to his belatedly, a mix of desire and curiosity in swirling all around her. 

“Do you trust me, Swan?” she nodded immediately, and his responding smile made her world even brighter than it already was. “Good. And in the meantime, just know I love you. More than any words could ever say.”

With her own quiet affirmation, they kissed once more, lingering in the moment as long as they could before breaking apart and joining the others.

**_Post-Note: So there we have it! I hope that it was everything you all had your hearts set on. I for one wanted a secondary love story that was sweet and romantic and hopeful. You all know I love a good second chance romance, I’ve engaged with the trope many times, and my soft spot for Elsa and Liam as a couple is undeniable. For a couple that never even met in the show, they sure get my muse to write all sorts of stuff. Anyway, as you may expect, we will now be pivoting back towards a primarily CS focus. There are also only a few chapters left. I know, I know! It’s crazy, but, I promise to include my usual cheesy fairytale happy ending. My current plan includes two more chapters (for a proposal and at the very least glimpse of a wedding) and then eventually an epilogue. I don’t have a real timeline for when these posts will be put up, but please trust that I am doing my best to get this story written. As always, I appreciate all of your kind words and reviews. Each and every one inspires me to write more, and I love reading them. Thanks again, stay safe, and take care. xE_ **


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